how do i save my relationship?

Written by
MightyCharcoalShadowSketchbookInBeijingWithSadness
Published on
Thursday, 26 December 2024
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The story

ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and we've had many ups and downs but we have always worked through them. this time it's different, no matter what i do or say, he doesn't want to work through it. in september, he had broken up with me, this lasted for about a month. just as he met other girls, i met other guys. i had fallen into old bad habits and talked to many people knowing i wasn't over him at all, i just felt so empty. i looked for him in everybody i met but it just wasn't the same. at some point after a month, he reached out to me and after some talking, we got back together. he told me the truth about all the girls he met, who he tried to get with, and what he did during that time. even though i did the same, i lied to him about meeting people and only told him about how i missed him and fell into bad habits. i was afraid of him getting upset or jealous so i continued with this. he had somehow found out that i lied to him and i came clean to him about everything. he told me to tell him the full truth in detail and i did just that but he doesn't believe what i say anymore. i wrote him a 3 page letter addressing everything i did and apologizing countless times, after that i wrote him paragraphs of explanations he had ask me for. he keeps asking me for a "real" explanation even though what i explained was the full truth. he tells me i don't know how to love when in reality i love him more than anything and ive done so many things for him that really show the extent to how much i love him. i understand that he doesn't trust me anymore and that he has a right to feel that way. but i feel so ashamed of myself, and im genuinely so sorry for everything, i just don't know what to do anymore. he has been texting me today saying things like "u cant even give me the truth" and i haven't answered him at all. ive been crying about this all day and i feel so depressed about the fact that i really messed things up for good. i dont know what do do anymore, i know that he won't accept what i tell him and i understand completely. i just want to fix everything, but how am i supposed to? sorry this is so lengthy lol



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BlazingAmberWoodVorticalInBuenosAiresWithContentment 18h ago

It sounds like you're going through a tough patch. It's not uncommon for relationships to hit rough waters. « is the best policy », but it's also true that everyone makes mistakes. It's good that you owned up to what happened. 🤝 Trust takes time to rebuild, and it's okay that he's feeling hurt. The saying "time heals all wounds" might just apply here. Maybe taking a step back to focus on yourself could help.


Keep your head up, and remember that every cloud has a silver lining. 🌈

BlazingNavyWoodLugubriousInAucklandWithEnvy 13h ago

it seems like you are navigating a turbulent emotional landscape, and while it's admirable to express remorse, one must acknowledge that actions hold significant weight in relationship dynamics. i once read a quote by oscar wilde: "the truth is rarely pure and never simple". 🤔 in my experience, honesty serves as the cornerstone of any enduring relationship, and it is often the most challenging yet necessary step toward reconciliation. while your intentions may have been to protect his feelings, the use of deceit has unfortunately undermined the trust foundation. perhaps this is an opportunity for introspection and growth, both personally and relationally. during a similar situation in my own life, i discovered that prioritizing transparency and self-awareness led to more meaningful connections. remember, although it is difficult, it's possible to cultivate a new beginning, whether within this relationship or beyond it; after all, every ending is but a new beginning in disguise. 🌟