man, i swear my brain just dont kno how to chill. like, i tell myself stop overthinking but then i start overthinking about overthinking and it just never stops. i love my gf, i really do, but sometimes i feel like im ruining everything just bc my brain wont shut up. like, she’ll text me something simple, like “talk later, busy” and my brain immediately jumps to the worst. is she mad? did i do somethin? is she talkin to someone else? and then i gotta fight myself not to double text, not to say somethin stupid, not to ask questions that will make me look like an insecure idiot. and i hate it. i hate feelin like im too much, like im suffocating her with my own thoughts. but i don’t know how to stop.

it’s not even like she’s given me a reason to feel this way. she’s always been good to me, always been there, always says she loves me. but my brain don’t trust good things. my brain is always waiting for the "but". like, yeah, things are good now, but what if she gets bored? what if she realizes im not enough? what if she’s just staying bc she feels bad for me? it’s like i keep lookin for proof that something’s wrong even when everything is fine. nd it’s exhausting. bc then i act weird, she notices, she asks what’s wrong, and then i gotta lie and say "nothing, just tired" bc what am i supposed to say?? “oh, im just convincing myself u secretly hate me”???

sometimes i think maybe it’s just a me problem. like, maybe i just dont know how to be happy, maybe i need some kinda reassurance constantly that no normal person is willing to give. nd i kno that’s not fair. she’s her own person, she has her own life, she can’t spend every second proving she loves me just bc my brain refuses to believe it. nd the stupidest part? the more i overthink, the more i actually push her away. like, it’s this messed up cycle where i get anxious about losing her, so i act weird, nd then bc im acting weird, things feel off, nd then im like "see?? somethings wrong!!". except the only thing wrong is me.

so yeah, how to stop overthinking in a relationship? hell if i know. if i knew, i wouldn’t be sitting here at 2 am analyzing a text she sent five hours ago like it’s some kinda secret code. maybe i just need to chill. maybe i need to trust that not everyone is gonna leave, that not every silence is bad, that i dont need to be perfect for someone to love me. but thats easier said than done. so for now, i guess i just gotta fake it. pretend im not overthinking until maybe, one day, i actually won’t be.

Stories in the same category