How to forgive yourself for cheating?
The story
so, there's this thing that's been on my mind for a while. I found myself in a messy emotional affair with a coworker...must have been the stress at work getting to me or something. Somehow, it just happened out of nowhere. it's weird because it ended, but the guilt of my actions is eating away at me constantly and I'm worried about what it'll do to my marriage.
you know those moments when you're caught off guard by your own actions? that's where I'm at. I didn't set out to hurt anyone (not my partner, not even myself) yet here we are. My spouse doesn't deserve this kind of betrayal, and the thought of coming clean scares me; there's always that slim chance of things getting patched up, but part of me wonders if it's worth risking everything over mistakes.
I guess I'm stuck in this loop where every situation runs through my mind again and again; just questioning why I let it happen... But more so: how am I going to forgive myself? then there are times when breathing gets hard because I've let someone so important down...
maybe it's time for a change or some kind of wake-up call, you know? hating yourself can be pretty draining on top of everything else life throws your way. trying to remain hopeful though because who knows...things might turn around soon and maybe finding peace within will be the first step towards fixing what's broken 🙂
