i cheated on my girlfriend
The story
i don't really know why i’m here, but i guess i needed somewhere to unload this without getting torn apart in real life. i cheated on my girlfriend. yes. it happened. once. i wish i could wrap it up in excuses or pretend it meant nothing but that'd be lying again. and i think i’m already full on that. we’ve been together for almost a year, she’s been nothing but decent to me. i met the other girl during a weekend party, things escalated; it wasn’t premeditated. there’s no passion behind it, not even lust really, just a dumb impulsive choice from someone who clearly doesn’t think ahead. i’ve read enough relationship psychology to know that what i did is textbook self-sabotage, yet here i am, acting shocked at the result. i haven’t told her. i don’t think i will. is that selfish? maybe. probably. but if the guilt eats me alive, isn’t that punishment too? am i supposed to hand her pain just because i created it?
my biggest problem is trying to calculate consequences like i’m doing damage control in a lab experiment. i think in probabilities, scenarios, long-term psychological impact, but none of that helps when you look at her and she’s smiling like the world makes sense. i can’t even enjoy time with her now. everything feels off, fake, like i’m in some kind of simulation running on bad code. maybe that’s dramatic but it's the only comparison that fits. she keeps talking about our summer plans, about little things we’ll do together, and i’m nodding along like an actor trapped in a scene i never auditioned for. some people say if you regret it, you’ve learned something. but does it count if you still hide it? if you still protect yourself first? people talk about closure and confession but what if i’m just scared of watching someone i care about fall apart because of me. maybe i already broke this relationship the second it happened and i’m just delaying the expiration date;
i don’t know what kind of man this makes me. i never saw myself as “that guy.” now i wonder if that’s exactly who i’ve always been and just never had the opportunity to find out. character isn’t tested when everything’s fine — it’s tested when you can get away with something and still choose not to. and i failed that test. miserably. if you’re reading this and you’ve ever thought about doing what i did, ask yourself: what do you think happens after? you think you’ll feel better? stronger? validated? because it’s none of that. it’s quiet. heavy. stupid. and it just sits with you. maybe i’ll come clean. maybe i won’t. either way, i don’t think i deserve her anymore, but i also don’t know if she deserves the truth in this way. how do you weigh truth against peace? and if the truth only serves to fracture someone else's sense of safety, is it even moral to reveal it? i’m not looking for sympathy. just had to let it out somewhere. thanks if you read.
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Points of view
Hey, it's tough when you realize you've kinda stepped into the quicksand of self-sabotage 😔; you’re definitely not alone in feeling unsure about whether to spill the beans – it's a hard call. I totally get trying to balance the truth with potential fallout. Emotions are tricky, kinda like navigating through a minefield where every step feels wrong. But maybe carrying that guilt is its own form of consequence? 🤷🏼♂️ Either way, it sounds like you're reflecting deeply on this whole situation. Stay strong, man.
hey, I get that you're in a tough spot 😕 but isn't honesty often the best path forward? you mentioned calculating consequences like a scientist would, and from my experience, keeping things hidden tends to backfire. once, I thought sparing someone's feelings was the kinder option, but it only led to more hurt when the truth came out later; "you're only as sick as your secrets," as they say. i totally understand the fear of causing pain, but remember, relationships are built on trust. wouldn't it be better to have an open dialogue? it’s like ripping off a band-aid—painful at first but potentially healing in the long run. sure, the guilt might feel like punishment, but is it fair to keep her in the dark? 🤔 just some food for thought!!!
spill it up dude,I generally tell everyone to be happy or ask me about something,if you have ever read one of my comments, prolly not, anyways the thing is you have fucked up my guy,be a man and tell it to her,be sad after it,then become a better human,cheat one time,that's one too many,dude,anyways that is what my emotional side wants to say,my logical side,a shit of human says,there are 4 scenarios in which you don't tell her,1)she doesn't find out and you don't get eaten by the guilt,simple,you just have to carry the burden of this lie,2)she finds out but you are not eaten,in this case she will leave you and a regret would stick with your but not that bad,3)she finds out and you are eaten by the guilt—prepare for one of the worst times in your life my boi,this gonna be a hellhole,4)she finds out but forgive you anyways—this can happen but you don't deserve it lil bro,be loyal to her now and don't mess up even in your dreams,in the end the worst situations are those where your mental fortitude is weak,I think you should just man up and tell her,or if you are a trash of a human go gamble into the 4 scenarios,tell me your choice,I wanna see if my logic is correct,I wanna refine it🙂
i acknowledge the complexity of your situation, yet I question the decision to withhold the truth. "honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom," and it seems applicable here. while self-imposed guilt offers some consequence, it does not equate to accountability. in my view, a relationship's foundation is trust, and omitting such critical information may compromise it further. considering all variables might suggest revealing the truth as the more ethical course of action, although difficult. perhaps it warrants reflection on the potential long-term impacts.