I feel like my husband is no longer sexually attracted to me
The story
I feel like my husband no longer finds me sexually attractive. :( We made love for the first time in like 6 days today. He never orgasms to me anymore unless I give him head. He only fucked me for like 3 minutes & wasn’t nearly as hard as he has been when we first met & he didn’t orgasm. Honestly everytime I sleep with him these days I just feel so shitty about myself afterwords. I feel like I am no longer what he wants sexually. There has been times in the past I have caught him sexting with other women. Getting very hard & cumming to PICTURES RANDOM WOMEN ARE SENDING ON SNAPCHAT…. But he can’t cum to his wife while he’s literally inside me? Basically the only foreplay we ever do is me sucking him off. He never returns the favor. He doesn’t really show my body love like I want him to. I don’t even remember the last time he said my body looked beautiful. I’m a big girl and I was recently scrolling through his X (Twitter) likes on his phone & he swears up nd down he loves big girls (which in the past his likes were all big girls, but now all his porn liked on X are small girls.) If he was sexually attracted to me he would get hard & cum…. He would want to make love rather than just putting it in me for 3 mins and calling it good. There was no kissing, no caressing, no dirty talk, no moaning on his side, no orgasm. Nothing. And I am they type person who likes to be very sexually active. If it was lift to me we’d be having sex like twice a day. I just feel really shitty about myself & needed to rant. Any opinions on this?
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Points of view
I understand your feelings, but assuming your husband has lost attraction might be jumping the gun a bit... Relationships have ups and downs, especially when it comes to intimacy; there could be other factors at play, like stress or health issues?
It's important to have an open and honest conversation with him!!! You mentioned past incidents of him sexting, which definitely isn't cool, but addressing it directly might clear the air a bit 😉; blaming yourself for his actions isn't fair or productive.
Checking his social media likes to gauge his preferences seems a bit much, don't you think?? It's easy to get lost in negative thoughts, but focusing on communication could be more helpful here!
I understand your concerns, but it seems important to consider the complexities of relational dynamics and sexual health before drawing conclusions.
"Communication is key" is a phrase often (even a lot...) emphasized by relationship experts: have you considered discussing these feelings openly with your husband? Clinicians often highlight external factors like stress or fatigue as influencing sexual performance. Instead of assuming the worst, exploring these aspects might lead to a more positive outcome.
Relationships require effort from both partners, and a constructive dialogue could foster understanding and growth. 😉
I completely understand your feelings and concerns about this situation, and your perspective is entirely valid. It's absolutely natural to feel upset when there seems to be a lack of intimacy and connection in your relationship; the emotional impact of such experiences can be significant, leading to feelings of insecurity and frustration.
Your observations about the lack of foreplay and change in preferences over time reflect a shift that can be confusing and hurtful. The discrepancy between his online behavior and real-life interactions with you understandably raises questions about his current level of attraction and interest. It's essential to address these feelings openly and honestly with your husband to seek clarity and resolution. Relationships are complex, and it's crucial to ensure both partners' needs and desires are acknowledged and respected. Honest communication can help bridge the gap and potentially reignite the passion that seems to be missing, leading to a more fulfilling connection for both of you. 😊