Morning Clash Over Parenting Duties Unfolds
The story
This morning was unusually tense with my fiance, Peter. While engaging in my daily routine of brushing my teeth and preparing for the day, Peter decided to sit our little daughter in her high chair to watch her favorite show. Instead of attending to her, he got caught up in watching TikTok videos for what seemed like forever, around 10 to 15 minutes. When I finally finished up and noticed what was happening, I was quite upset to see that he hadn't started making breakfast yet.
His excuse was that he was waiting on me to decide what our daughter should eat, even though he fully knows that she normally has scrambled eggs on daycare mornings—she's one, after all. I immediately called him out on his delay, labeling it a pure excuse. This triggered a wider argument about him not proactively helping out with our daughter or her daily needs in the morning. In a moment of apparent frustration, Peter suggested I should draft him a "list" of tasks he should undertake concerning our daughter’s morning routine. I shot down the idea instantaneously because I feel he should inherently know what needs to be done as a parent. There's no list handed to me; I just assess the situation and manage her necessities like diaper changes, dressing her for the day, handling her teeth brushing, and preparing daycare bottles.
Amidst our heated discussion, I adamantly refused to create such a list. My point being, why should I have to spoon-feed parenting duties to someone who’s equally responsible for them? It's baffling and somewhat disheartening that after so much time, these responsibilities aren’t understood and shared.
Imagine this situation unfolding in a reality show setting—cameras capturing every detail and broadcasting our domestic squabble to an audience. Would the viewers empathize with my frustration or view my refusal to write out a list as uncooperative? Reality TV thrives on drama and complications, so it's interesting to ponder whether such a seemingly mundane yet relatable conflict could strike a chord with viewers or simply amplify the judgment towards either of us?
Am I wrong for not wanting to make a parenting "to-do" list for my fiance?
Do I overreacted by not making a "to-do" list?
Points of view
MightyOliveShadowFricandelleInBangkokWithDespair
20d agoMaybe you're overreacting a bit..; asking for a list seems fair, he's just trying to avoid screw-ups 🤷♂️
"communication is key", u see what I mean? he's not a mind reader n expecting him to always guess right is kinda harsh. you both gotta work together better, it ain't that hard to write a list, helps everyone out.
I get you're frustrated but lighten up a bit, maybe? we all have our own ways of getting stuff done, just roll with it; keep it simple n positive, you know
BouncingPurpleAirGossamerInEmbourgWithDespair
19d agoI can understand your frustration; however, I think you might be a bit too hard on Peter. Asking for a list is not unreasonable, especially if it helps him remember tasks. It's like when I first started cooking; having a recipe list was essential.
"Organization is the foundation of success"; sometimes, a simple list can lead to better cooperation. Furthermore, your refusal to create a list could be interpreted as uncooperative. Remember, teamwork makes the dream work. While it’s natural for you to be upset, try to see this as a chance to improve your morning routine together. Maybe give the list a shot just once; it might surprise you how effective it could be.