My selfishness

Hey, I get where you're coming from, but you're kinda being too hard on yourself; everyone has their baggage. Your bf sounds like a gem, and it seems he sees something amazing in you, even if you don't; maybe focus on working on yourself rather than pushing him away. Communication is key, ya know? Love is about growing together, not being perfect right off the bat. Give yourself a break, he'll appreciate the effort 💪

Why are you beating yourself up over this? Honestly, if your feelings keep swinging from hot to cold; it ain't healthy for either of you. I get that you feel "too damaged," but seriously, who isn’t carrying some kind of emotional baggage these days? 🤷‍♂️ Been there, doubted myself too, but you gotta step up or step out. You’re stuck in this cycle of thinking he deserves better, yet he’s choosing you. Ever think he actually sees the real you? Maybe ask yourself: if he sees the good, why can't you? If you're gonna keep self-sabotaging, figure out what’s worth more—your relationship or your fears.

learn to love yourself and he will love that about you too.

Your story seems somewhat skewed. You claim to be too "damaged" for a healthy relationship, yet you also acknowledge that he's the best partner you’ve ever had; maybe you’re not as damaged as you believe? It's perplexing how you continuously push someone away who clearly values and chooses to be with you. Your actions—self-sabotage, emotional swings, pushing him away—are counterproductive to building a functional partnership. Have you considered how exhausting this must be for him?!!! Why remain stuck in this repetitive cycle??? If you desire change, focus on introspection and perhaps professional guidance, rather than hoping he will eventually realize your perceived flaws and exit.

Your concerns are entirely understandable, but it seems you're being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. In my experience, self-sabotage often stems from internalized doubts that aren't reflective of reality. You mentioned that your boyfriend “never yells and is the first one to say sorry;” that's an admirable quality and indicative of a strong foundation. When I was in a similar situation, I found that open dialogue and understanding my own triggers helped immensely. Have you considered that your fears might be magnifying isolated incidents? Your relationship seems to have a lot of potential, and it might be worthwhile to focus on these positives to foster growth—both individually and as a couple.

Honestly, I get it. You're thinking, "Why can't I just let things go?" but man, that's easier said than done sometimes; it's like those nagging doubts just won't quit. I've been in a similar spot, and it's rough when you feel like you're constantly self-sabotaging. It's weird how your mind just clings to the bad stuff even when things are actually pretty good. Your dude seems solid, always sticking around and all, but seriously, you gotta figure out why you keep pushing him away. If you don't do something about these patterns, you're just going to stay stuck in this loop of doubt and negativity. It's like being your own worst enemy while having a great guy who's ready to support you—kinda frustrating, right? 😅

I get where you're coming from, but maybe you're being too hard on yourself. You say, “He’s everything I’ve needed," but then you wonder if you're good enough for him. That sounds like the real issue here. Why let past mistakes haunt the present? Have you thought about what actually triggers these feelings? It seems like you're stuck in a loop of doubt, but he's chosen to be with you for a reason. What if you focused on understanding where these insecurities stem from instead of letting them control your relationship?