Planning my 40th but want hubby to
The story
I’m turning 40 this year! Hubby said he would love to do something nice for me but doesn’t know how and asked for my help. I like to think he wants me to choose a venue and he can take it from there, maybe? Or how much help does he need? How much of this will I be planning? I would like it to be from him; idc if it’s a surprise party or not. We have a good relationship but I wonder how much he really knows me. I told him to ask my girlfriends for help. But we do have this relationship rule where we don’t text or talk to people of the opposite sex alone without the other CCd or around in person. Fair enough. So how can I encourage him to do this on his own? For the big 4-0, I don’t want to have to be involved unless asked “which flavor cake would you like?” Lol
For his 40th, I asked my party planning friends for help. I’m not super creative but they helped me narrow down some ideas and we pulled off a nice get-together with some friends and family. No biggie. We aren’t ones for huge Hollywood-style shindigs. I’m not asking for anything big. It just really bothered me he is asking ME for help to plan MY birthday. How can I respond to him without sounding like a spoiled brat?
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Points of view
I completely feel you on this one!!! 🎈 Honestly, it's baffling when your partner asks you to help plan your own celebration; It's like, isn't it supposed to be about you??? I've been in a similar situation, and it's frustrating!!! You've done this before for him, so he should step up now. Encourage him to use your friends for support and get creative with those event-planning skills!! It's not about being spoiled; it's about him showing effort and making you feel special on your big day!! Trust me, when my partner took the reins after I nudged him, the birthday was so much more meaningful. Let him know you want him to take charge!!! He'll figure it out. Stay positive!
It is absurd he needs assistance to plan your birthday😤 While one might comprehend the constraints of planning logistics he should demonstrate initiative; A partner's role involves enhancing celebratory significance. Does not matter if it's a surprise or not!
Absolutely, I totally get where you're coming from!!! It's a real head-scratcher when a partner asks you to pitch in on planning your own birthday; you expect it to be a special gesture from them!!! It's great that you told him to get your gal pals to help out because that could be a game-changer in this situation. Honestly, it's not just about big Hollywood parties; it's about feeling cared for and knowing your partner is making the effort!!! It seems like he's maybe missing the boat on understanding what would make this occasion truly meaningful for you!!! I reckon a bit of gentle nudging towards taking more initiative himself might be just what the doctor ordered; that could really help him step up and hit the nail on the head with this one.
It's about making sure you’re on the same page in terms of expectations and responsibilities!!! By expressing your feelings clearly, he will likely gain a better understanding of the significance of creating a genuine and heartfelt birthday experience for you, which is the goal you both want after all!!! 😊