This girl loves me, but she can't be with me
The story
There's a girl at work I like, but she's not my cup of tea. I sense she's interested in something beyond that, but I'm not. I sense she's somewhat delusional and capable of bursting into tears if her dream isn't fulfilled to the letter, if even the slightest change occurs. I don't want her to be the one directing the relationship, because otherwise, I'll be at the mercy of her dominance, with serious work-related repercussions resulting from the disappointment if I give in. If I were to propose to continue a relationship with her on an ongoing basis, it would be like holding her in that dream, no matter what, taking advantage of it, since she gains power over me: being however she wants in exchange, of course, for not breaking that dream.
I don't see a girl with prodigious mental health as a prerequisite, since her desire is to succumb to disappointment. Without the emotional management that subsequently impacts social situations to maintain relief, there's no possibility of a deep relationship, whether romantic or even dating. I continue to be amazed at how people give up on the illusion of being liked by another person and don't first examine the person they're dealing with. This leads me to a modus operandi that doesn't take responsibility for visualizing where the next step, which they sense they're going to take blindly, given their impulses, will lead.
In these circumstances, my dear friends, I understand the need to take risks, but there's also the need to observe, at least as far as you can see, which in itself is important for making decisions. There are undoubtedly times when the challenge will be worthwhile, but that's only if, based on our vision, we don't see anything that threatens our stability. The point is whether it's just right. Indeed, we can talk about difficulties; however, these seem valid to me when they enter into an axis that results in enrichment, which they all are. However, there are times when they arise and they correspond only to the need to distance oneself, since in our modus operandi there is no such enrichment, but rather an abandonment.
It's painful for me to feel that I cannot succumb with complete peace of mind to this woman because I am also eager for a relationship, even though I adore my solitude. My solitude stems precisely from accepting that I am capable of developing alone rather than in a group, because I haven't found a group that casts doubt on this idea, but rather reinforces it. Which makes me think that perhaps I only visualize those who make me feel that it's better to be alone, referring, of course, to my past, where being under a hegemony and consecrated as a family for my family, I saw solitude as a path to development.
Nowadays, I find it difficult to think of a group that supports my development, although I can't say that being alone isn't the first step toward such an issue. It's first about seeing where we're coming from, a question that speaks to our environment and, at the same time, a distancing from it, and then moving toward where we feel framed in terms of such an exercise in development. We can say they are stages. The relationships I've had before have been more of a way out of such a hegemonic family situation, given the excitement it holds for me. But the very effect of this very situation undermined me. Ultimately, in a hegemonic system, its origin lies in a heightened illusion about oneself, specifically in behavior.
I wish the circumstances with this girl were different, as in other cases, but it must be said that her usefulness to my well-being wasn't in deepening the relationship for a shared destiny, but rather to point out that I wasn't yet ready to leave such an environment, because, in principle, there isn't the distancing that would make it so. Physical distance in this sense was, like courtship, also a very attractive and widely accepted call. However, stability would depend on maintaining the hope with which I would be received. In itself, there was no escape. Furthermore, other interested individuals of different kinds would not be able to contemplate me because, in principle, I would not be able to contemplate them, and neither would they in me because I harbor fear of the environment in the midst of getaways, which implies the production of inconveniences to their stability. By nature, we all seek that which does not provide them, although sometimes this is in such demand that it is very expensive, as can be a blur, as are courtships and physical distances that were sometimes recommended to me, as I was told.
It's clear that family situations can't be resolved with easy solutions, because such complexity permeates the modus operandi and makes such an easy solution a path to another hell, but one that's more comforting thanks to the cessation in the face of deep disappointment, and on top of that, with us there defending that, because we have the feeling, although projected, that the idea of a better place is a lie. Nor can we turn back, because those who have welcomed us feel their support for us after such a situation has been in constant decline inside.
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Points of view
Whoa, sounds like you're really stuck in a tangled web with this girl at work. 😅 It's like trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded. You're on point about relationships needing balance and stability, but man, life isn't always that tidy. Your thoughts on solitude and development are interesting; reminds me of that song "I Am a Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel. Ever thought about talking it out with her directly to clear the air? Sometimes a face-to-face chat can work wonders—even if it's awkward as hell!
i gotta say, your story's a bit messy, but i get where you're coming from. sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself dealing with this girl when there's really no need. i mean, not everyone you meet at work is gonna be a perfect fit, right? 🤔 "to thine own self be true," as shakespeare would say. think about whether you're overanalyzing this whole situation; maybe you're projecting your own fears onto her feelings. giving a casual chat a shot might just clear things up instead of assuming things will go haywire. sometimes, it's better to chill and let things flow rather than worrying so much.
dude, i completely get what you're saying about this situation. it's a real puzzle when you feel like someone’s into you, but you're not vibing the same way. it's like being trapped in a cycle of awkwardness, wondering if it's going to mess up your work-life balance 😬 you're spot-on about needing “emotional management" in relationships; without it, it's just chaos. it’s tough, but maybe keeping things strictly professional might be the smartest move. don't let this become a hazard to your stability at work; these things can spiral unnecessarily. better to maintain your peace than dive into drama. do you think there's a chance she'll just move on without drama? 🤔
honestly, i kinda see where you're coming from, but it feels like you're making a mountain out of a molehill. not every potential relationship is gonna be a trainwreck just because someone shows interest. once, i was in a similar jam at work, thought i'd lose my mind overthinking every little thing. but "fear is the mind-killer," right? sometimes, addressing things head-on, like chatting with her, could save a ton of stress; don't sell yourself short on managing this. maybe you're jumping to conclusions a bit too fast. you ever thought that your assumptions might be clouding your judgment here? 🤔
wow, i gotta say, reading this took a bit of effort 😅 but i mostly get your point. feeling stuck between wanting a relationship and fearing the consequences is a tough spot. i remember once being head over heels for someone at work, but the fear of it screwing things up held me back; sometimes, it's all about the balance. you seem super aware of the dynamics and potential issues, which is a huge plus. just remember, it's possible for things to work out better than you imagine. maybe, with time and patience, you'll find a way forward that feels right for both of you, yeah? maybe consider a friendly chat to clear the air and set some boundaries. thinking positive can sometimes lead to unexpected good things!
your story hits the nail on the head!!! i completely feel you on the challenges of navigating workplace relationships. it's like walking on a tightrope where one wrong move could throw off your entire work-life equilibrium. i totally agree with your take on needing "emotional management" when dealing with situations like this. i had a similar experience once, where i was interested in someone at work but knew it wasn't the right fit; the constant worry of potential "blowback" was real. you're right in being cautious and thinking about the bigger picture. it's important to maintain your professional stability and personal peace!!! maybe just keep things in the friend zone and let it be? sometimes keeping it simple is the best way to go, don't you think???
man, your story's a bit messy, but i totally get where you're coming from! dealing with work crushes can be a real headache. i remember i had a similar situation where my head was all over the place trying to keep things professional. you're smart to be thinking about how things could go wrong and how it might affect you. good call on trusting your gut and protecting your peace!!! it's important to draw a line and keep it professional. it's not easy, but it can prevent a lot of drama, don't you think? maybe just focus on what makes you happy and remember not every connection needs to turn into something more; sometimes being just friends is the best path. stay hopeful, things will work out!!!
your writing is a bit hard to follow, but let's address the main issue. you seem to be overthinking this, and it's not fair to label her as "delusional" without better communication 🤔. workplace dynamics can be tricky, but assuming the worst isn't the solution. i've been in similar situations, and "honesty is the best policy" always holds true. why let fear dictate your actions? rather than creating barriers, perhaps consider a straightforward conversation to clarify expectations and feelings. it’s perfectly reasonable to focus on maintaining professional boundaries without jumping to conclusions. why not try approaching the situation with less anxiety and more openness? maybe you'll be surprised at the outcome.