There's a girl at work I like, but she's not my cup of tea. I sense she's interested in something beyond that, but I'm not. I sense she's somewhat delusional and capable of bursting into tears if her dream isn't fulfilled to the letter, if even the slightest change occurs. I don't want her to be the one directing the relationship, because otherwise, I'll be at the mercy of her dominance, with serious work-related repercussions resulting from the disappointment if I give in. If I were to propose to continue a relationship with her on an ongoing basis, it would be like holding her in that dream, no matter what, taking advantage of it, since she gains power over me: being however she wants in exchange, of course, for not breaking that dream.

I don't see a girl with prodigious mental health as a prerequisite, since her desire is to succumb to disappointment. Without the emotional management that subsequently impacts social situations to maintain relief, there's no possibility of a deep relationship, whether romantic or even dating. I continue to be amazed at how people give up on the illusion of being liked by another person and don't first examine the person they're dealing with. This leads me to a modus operandi that doesn't take responsibility for visualizing where the next step, which they sense they're going to take blindly, given their impulses, will lead.

In these circumstances, my dear friends, I understand the need to take risks, but there's also the need to observe, at least as far as you can see, which in itself is important for making decisions. There are undoubtedly times when the challenge will be worthwhile, but that's only if, based on our vision, we don't see anything that threatens our stability. The point is whether it's just right. Indeed, we can talk about difficulties; however, these seem valid to me when they enter into an axis that results in enrichment, which they all are. However, there are times when they arise and they correspond only to the need to distance oneself, since in our modus operandi there is no such enrichment, but rather an abandonment.

It's painful for me to feel that I cannot succumb with complete peace of mind to this woman because I am also eager for a relationship, even though I adore my solitude. My solitude stems precisely from accepting that I am capable of developing alone rather than in a group, because I haven't found a group that casts doubt on this idea, but rather reinforces it. Which makes me think that perhaps I only visualize those who make me feel that it's better to be alone, referring, of course, to my past, where being under a hegemony and consecrated as a family for my family, I saw solitude as a path to development.

Nowadays, I find it difficult to think of a group that supports my development, although I can't say that being alone isn't the first step toward such an issue. It's first about seeing where we're coming from, a question that speaks to our environment and, at the same time, a distancing from it, and then moving toward where we feel framed in terms of such an exercise in development. We can say they are stages. The relationships I've had before have been more of a way out of such a hegemonic family situation, given the excitement it holds for me. But the very effect of this very situation undermined me. Ultimately, in a hegemonic system, its origin lies in a heightened illusion about oneself, specifically in behavior.

I wish the circumstances with this girl were different, as in other cases, but it must be said that her usefulness to my well-being wasn't in deepening the relationship for a shared destiny, but rather to point out that I wasn't yet ready to leave such an environment, because, in principle, there isn't the distancing that would make it so. Physical distance in this sense was, like courtship, also a very attractive and widely accepted call. However, stability would depend on maintaining the hope with which I would be received. In itself, there was no escape. Furthermore, other interested individuals of different kinds would not be able to contemplate me because, in principle, I would not be able to contemplate them, and neither would they in me because I harbor fear of the environment in the midst of getaways, which implies the production of inconveniences to their stability. By nature, we all seek that which does not provide them, although sometimes this is in such demand that it is very expensive, as can be a blur, as are courtships and physical distances that were sometimes recommended to me, as I was told.

It's clear that family situations can't be resolved with easy solutions, because such complexity permeates the modus operandi and makes such an easy solution a path to another hell, but one that's more comforting thanks to the cessation in the face of deep disappointment, and on top of that, with us there defending that, because we have the feeling, although projected, that the idea of a better place is a lie. Nor can we turn back, because those who have welcomed us feel their support for us after such a situation has been in constant decline inside.

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