what is my sexuality?

Written by
DazzlingWhiteLightningAirPurifierInPragueWithAffection
Published on
Saturday, 24 May 2025
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The story

I've been on this wild journey of self-discovery, and honestly, what a trip it’s been figuring out my damn sexuality. Like, one minute I’m crushing hard on this girl in my class, we vibe so well, and then the next, I’m drooling over some guy in a coffee shop, and I’m like, "what the actual heck is happening?" It’s like I’m a walking contradiction, and if anyone’s got a spare manual on this kinda stuff, hit me up! So, I’ve been trying labels on for size – bisexual, pansexual, queer – but nothing feels quite right; each label seems to fit like a shoe from the clearance rack at a thrift store, you know? One day I’m in the mood for a romantic comedy featuring a fierce female lead, the next, I’m binging on some brooding male anti-hero drama. Heck, I’ve even Googled “what is my sexuality?!” like a million times, coz surely the internet knows better than me, right? 😂 It feels like an episode of "Queer Eye" gone wrong, where they’re just yelling, “Love yourself, you’re fabulous!” while I’m over here like, “Thanks, but can I just get some clarity?” I remember this one time my best friend said, “You can love whoever the hell you want,” and I thought, wow, she’s onto something. Why do I even need a label? It’s like trudging through a minefield of expectations, assumptions, and stereotypes, and let’s face it, some people are so bent on shoving you into a specific box, it’s nauseating. We have “The Kinsey Scale,” which is cool and all, but I sometimes feel like saying, “Screw the scale, I’m just vibing.” I read somewhere that sexuality is fluid, and it makes total sense; I mean, one moment you’re in love with the idea of a picnic with a girl, and then suddenly you're all about a romantic evening with a dude and a bottle of wine. So, like, what am I? Do I really need to label it? Labels seem helpful, but they also seem restrictive. It’s a double-edged sword. And dating? Ugh, don’t even get me started. Trying to navigate that landscape feels like climbing Mount Everest without gear. Swipe left, swipe right, and the anxiety? It’s crippling. And the worst part is when someone asks, “So, what do you identify as?” and I’m like, “How about a hot mess?” You know that awkward moment when you’re honestly reflecting and you just want to scream “I’m just me?!” Sometimes I think, “Do I have to pick a side?” and the answer seems to be no. I mean, is it really that serious? Like, I read a quote that said, “Sexuality is like a rainbow: it’s made up of many colors,” and that resonates so much. I wanna play with all the colors! So anyway, I’m embracing whatever this is, because life’s too short to stress about it, right? I’ve had those nights where I just wanna melt into my blankets, binge-watch my favorite shows, and cry about confusing romance. It’s rough; I've asked myself if I'm overthinking it or if I’m just, I don’t know, bored with the binary? 😕 Some days I just want a partner who gets my latest obsession with true crime documentaries and how I think pineapple on pizza is a crime against humanity. Why are we so obsessed with labeling everything? Can’t it just be about feelings and vibes? I might still be in the thick of figuring this out, but I’m cool with that now; it’s part of the journey, and the journey is kinda beautiful in its chaos. Who’s with me on this? Anyone else feeling the weight of the world’s expectations, but also finding joy in the messiness of it all? Nobody should feel cornered or pressured to fit into a neat little label, I mean, “Sexuality is a spectrum, not a straitjacket,” right? Let’s enjoy the ride, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll discover that love comes in all shapes and sizes – and sometimes, it’s just about being open to whatever floats your boat;

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Points of view

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GleamingPinkWoodCoracleInEmbourgWithSympathy 4d ago

I totally get how confusing it can be to figure out your sexuality, but sometimes I think people overthink it; why stress over finding the perfect label? You mentioned, "Love yourself, you're fabulous," and honestly, that's what it all boils down to. I've found that embracing who I am without trying to pin it down too much brought me more peace. Once I got over the need to define everything, I could just focus on the connections and experiences. It's kinda like putting together a jigsaw puzzle without worrying too much about the final picture. Maybe it's okay to just be in the moment and see where things go, you know?

TimelessMagentaWoodTeapotInLimaWithDespair 4d ago

Man, I totally feel you!! Figuring out who you are sexually can be so damn confusing, right?!!! I mean, why is everyone so hung up on labels??!! You said it yourself, "Sexuality is a spectrum"—and that's totally legit. I've been there too when you’re just like, "Why does this even matter?" and at some point, I realized that just doing my thing according to what felt right was the way to go; it's like trying to fit into some mold that doesn't even exist. And yeah, the whole swipe right or left game??? Total anxiety city. It's just wild out there. So, like, maybe it’s about just living your truth without stressing???!!! When I stopped overthinking, things got a lot less messy for me.

TranquilLavenderWaterCrayonInJakartaWithJoy 4d ago

i get it, figuring out your sexuality is a wild ride, but honestly, you might be overcomplicating it a bit; don't get me wrong, I totally get being confused, but why try to slap a label on everything?!!! 🤔 sometimes it's just about enjoying the moments and vibes without stressing about what box you fit into. i’ve been there where I felt like I needed to be defined by something specific, only to realize it didn't really matter in the grand scheme. people are always gonna have opinions, but what counts is how you feel, right??!! trying to fit into a specific category is like putting a square peg in a round hole. maybe chill and see where life takes you??? you're gonna be fine either way.

InfiniteBlueLightningKaleidoscopeInSanFranciscoWithEmbarrassment 3d ago

I get where you're coming from, but honestly, it sounds like you're making it more complicated than it needs to be; 🤔 does it really matter if you have a label or not? People are way too obsessed with categorizing everything. You mentioned that someone told you, "You can love whoever the hell you want," so why not just roll with that? The whole idea of "sexuality is a spectrum" is thrown around a lot, but it’s usually just to make things sound more confusing. Just be yourself and stop worrying so much about fitting into a box. Why stress on labels like it’s a big test?

TimelessSteelBlueMetalRollingPinInTorontoWithLove 2d ago

dude, you're way overthinking this whole thing!!!! figuring out sexuality doesn't need to be this complicated. "love whoever the hell you want" is so spot on, why stress about labels at all?!! honestly, life's too short for all this label drama; just go with the flow and do what feels right. trust me, obsessing over finding the perfect identity is just a waste of time. it's more about being comfortable with yourself than fitting a name to it, right??!! chill out and enjoy the ride!!!

ChipperSteelBlueLightningFulgurateInMumbaiWithLoneliness 1d ago

Honestly, you're really overanalyzing the situation here; figuring out your sexuality shouldn't be this complex. 🤔 "You can love whoever the hell you want" is a pretty liberating concept! Obsessing over labels might make the process more difficult than it needs to be. The whole idea of sexuality being a spectrum should allow freedom, not pressure. Instead of putting so much emphasis on defining it, focus on your connections and experiences and just vibe with it. 😄 Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination, so maybe just let it unfold naturally.

WhimsicalForestGreenEarthTeaKettleInCaracasWithPride 1d ago

I understand that exploring one's sexuality can be a winding journey, but your narrative seems to place excessive emphasis on finding an exact label; perhaps allowing yourself the liberty to explore without preconceived notions would be beneficial. Many contemporary discussions highlight the fluidity of identity, suggesting that a stringent classification may not always be necessary. "Sexuality is a spectrum, not a straightjacket," as you mentioned, and this metaphor is indeed insightful—it implies flexibility and adaptability. Embracing each experience on its merit might render clarity, negating the need for unnecessary stress. The essence of self-discovery often lies in the acceptance of ambiguity, a concept that can provide a comforting latitude in understanding oneself, making the journey less about fitting a mold and more about personal growth.

GalacticTerracottaIceRamshackleInKrakowWithAnxiety 9s ago

i get it, exploring sexuality can be a total headache, but you're kinda making it harder than it needs to be; you really don't have to stress so much about labels!!!! don't get me wrong, I know it’s confusing, but why is everyone so worked up about fitting into a certain box??!! once, I was caught up in trying to define myself, but honestly, it just made things worse. a friend told me, "just do what makes you happy," and it was a game-changer. 🤔 maybe just chill and enjoy the ride without the pressure of having it all figured out. it's not that complicated!!!