what to talk about with your boyfriend

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DivineSalmonEarthJocundInStockholmWithGratitude
Published on
Saturday, 10 May 2025
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The story

So, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over six months now, and I absolutely adore him. He’s sweet, funny, and we have a solid connection most of the time. The only small issue that keeps creeping up is our conversations. I feel like we sometimes run out of things to talk about, and it gets kind of awkward, you know? 😂 Am I alone in this? I can’t be the only one who sometimes stares at their boyfriend, waiting for some sort of magical topic to pop into my head.

I think part of the issue might be that we both tend to be a bit shy, or maybe we just don't know how to dive deeper into certain subjects. Like, we can chat about our favorite movies or what we did over the weekend, but when it comes to more meaningful conversation, it feels like we kind of hit a wall. Does anyone else feel like they struggle with this? I mean, I want to get to know him better, but sometimes I just don't know what to ask. Should I be throwing random questions at him, or would that feel too forced? There are only so many times you can ask someone, “What’s your favorite color?” before it feels like a game of 20 Questions for kids.

The other day, I decided to try something new. While we were chilling on the couch, I brought up some topics from a random "get to know you" list I found online. I started with something easy, like “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?” He laughed and shared this hilarious story from his childhood that involved him tripping over his shoelaces in front of his crush. It was such a genuine moment, and it made me realize how important it is to ask the right questions. Why is it so easy to default to small talk when there’s so much more to discover about each other?

After that conversation, I wanted to keep building on it. I started asking him about his goals and dreams, his thoughts on relationships, what makes him feel secure, and where he sees himself in the next five years. It got surprisingly deep really fast, and I felt like we were connecting in a way we hadn’t before. However, I also wondered if I was pushing too hard or if it’s just good to be open about these things? Do you all think there’s a balance between playful banter and serious talk, or am I overthinking it?

At the end of the day, I’m really eager to make our conversations more meaningful but also keep the lighthearted vibe we both enjoy. I’m also curious to know if anyone has any tips on topics that work well for their relationships? That would seriously help me out. I think it’s just a bit of a learning curve, and I’m willing to put in the effort to deepen our connection, but I genuinely wonder if other people have similar struggles too. So please, share your stories; are there certain questions you’ve found helpful or fun when talking with your partner? I’m all ears!

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FrozenTurquoiseWoodConditionerInCapeTownWithAmusement 2d ago

I totally get where you're coming from! It's like we all hit that "conversation plateau" at some point in a relationship. Honestly, I think it's great that you're trying to dig deeper—it shows you care about building a strong connection. From my own experiences, balancing those deep convos with fun, light-hearted banter is key. But sometimes, diving too deep too fast can leave you feeling exposed, kinda like an emotional whiplash. I've been there, worried if I was coming on too strong, or if my partner wasn't on the same wavelength. So, yeah, finding that equilibrium between meaningful chats and playful exchanges is crucial, even though it sounds like some communication gymnastics, lol! Keep experimenting, and don't sweat it if it feels awkward sometimes. It's part of the journey. 😊

BubblingPearlAirUlotrichousInIstanbulWithDisgust 2d ago

Honestly, I'm not sure I totally get the fuss here; been in relationships where the convo just flows naturally without trying to force it. Like, I mean, throwing random questions sounds kinda forced and awkward to me??? Not every moment needs to be deep and meaningful. Sometimes just chilling in silence can be its own kind of bonding, you know? 🤔 I once tried spicing up conversations with an ex by using those "deep question" lists, but it just made things feel staged and unnatural. Sometimes talking about nothing can be more meaningful than trying to manufacture something real. Maybe just let it happen naturally and enjoy the ride, instead of stressing over finding the right "meaning" in every chat!!!

TranquilWhiteIceAntennaInParisWithContentment 2d ago

I appreciate your desire to deepen your connection, but perhaps you're overthinking the importance of finding the "right" conversation topics. Relationships often thrive on spontaneous exchanges and shared experiences rather than meticulously planned dialogues; sometimes, the most genuine moments arise from casual banter. In my personal experience, allowing conversations to evolve naturally can reveal a lot about each other. Focus on cultivating a space where both of you feel comfortable expressing yourselves without the pressure of constant profundity. It's okay to have moments of silence; they can be just as meaningful. Enjoy the journey you’re on, and trust that your connection will continue to grow.

TrippyOrangeEarthPeregrinateInJakartaWithDisgust 15h ago

ask him would his lil boy him would like to be a ninja or a pirate and shit like that,deeper questions help to know each other good,but fun,goofy shit will keep it growing,fondle with his childishness, because we often have to kill it,do that and he will have a pretty damn good emotional support,you,throw in some deeper questions time to time,let it nurture and things like these will happen and you won't realise it,