Are my standards for love too unrealistic?
The story
Ok. If there is one thing I have learned in life is that I am a catch to absolutely no one. And I'm not looking for people to tell me I am beautfiul and amazing and all of that junk, because I've dealt with people who constantly need to be told how amazing they are and it is exhausting. I just want to know if I'm being unrealistic for what I want in a parter. First of, I am a gay woman in a VERY VERY red state, which means its hard to find people with the same sexuality anyways. Dating apps are a disaster. I have never wanted to be someones third, especially with some of the men that these women are dating or married to. Now I finally find this girl who actually likes how I look and is willing to put up with me, but she seems to really dislike all of the things I like. She hates romance movies or most movies that aren't horror, she doesn't like to read, she says she wants to travel but talks about how she will never get on a plane, she doesn't like rollar coasters or crafts that aren't legos. and truly the one thing that just irks me more than anything else is what she knows about the world. For context I am a college graduate, both of my parents have masters degrees, I have vistied historical sites since I was old enough to understand their significance. She cannot do simple addition to safe her life, she does these semi dangerous exeriments (like putting a battery down her garbage disposial to see what will happen, or tearing at a battery until it creates just a strip of lithium), she didn't even know how many states were in the U.S until a week ago when I caught her calling Tennessee a country rather than a state. Sometimes i have to break down my instructions or exactly what I am saying to her because she just doesn't get it. But she really really likes me, and I like how passionate she is and that she is trying to learn, but its been almost a month and it just drives me crazy sometimes. She has a lot of health problems and I have to remind her to have her medicine or check in with her that she is actually eating. Also she is talking about promise rings, moving intogether, marriage, and kids. I've told her that I don't know if this is forever. Truly I'm still working out a lot of things about myself. So it's not like I'm hiding all of this from her. i guess after watching another rom com and realizing that I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want to bore her made me wonder if I am looking for a love or a partnership that only exists in movies, or if by holding on I could be missing that person that makes me feel seen and complete in everything I do. I just don't know anymore.
Am I delusional or is there something out there?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. finding compatibility, especially when you're navigating such a specific dating pool, is no small feat. i get why you'd be hesitant about rushing into things with her, given the significant differences between your interests and her lack of basic knowledge in certain areas. it's not just about romance or partnership—it's also about feeling mentally stimulated and appreciated for who you are; maybe it’s worth considering if this relationship is helping you grow or if it feels more like an obligation. sometimes being realistic means acknowledging that you can appreciate parts of someone without them necessarily being "the one." trust your gut instincts; after all, you're the one living your life, not a rom-com script 😉
wow, this hits close to home. i remember dating someone once who was super adventurous in all the risky ways like your girl with those wild experiments; we spent more time fixing issues she created than just enjoying each other's company. it's tough finding that balance of being accepted for you while also seeking compatibility at a deeper level, right? what you're feeling about wanting something beyond movie romance makes total sense. i've learned that relationships can feel complete when there's mutual growth and understanding, not just surface-level passion. maybe you just need to find peace within yourself first and let things unfold naturally?! remember, authenticity is key!
It sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight here, trying to mesh between your expectations and the reality of where you are now. Man, I can relate. It's so draining when you're putting in more energy than you're getting back, especially if that imbalance is mental or intellectual. It’s like this: compatibility isn’t just about sharing interests, but also about being able to mutually challenge and elevate each other. Sounds cheesy, but a relationship should be two people who bring out the best in one another—that goes way beyond just liking horror movies or whatever. 😅 Sometimes we're chasing that impossible movie version of love, but it's okay to hold out for someone who gets you on all levels and doesn't leave you feeling frustrated 24/7. Trust yourself; no one wants to end up feeling stuck because they settled for less than they truly deserve!
sounds like you've got a lot to think about, especially with all the differences and expectations in your relationship. it can be tough being in a place where finding someone who gets you is hard enough without throwing in the mix of clashing interests and life plans. one thing that stuck out to me was how she's already talking about promise rings and moving in together so soon... gotta wonder if the pace might be too fast for a relationship that's still figuring itself out 🤔 maybe it's cool to step back a bit, take stock of what truly matters to you, and see if this connection has room to grow beyond just liking each other. everyone's idea of happiness doesn't have to match those rom-com ideals, but you definitely deserve something that feels right for you!
maybe you’re just looking for someone who's on the same wavelength, and that's totally normal; it can be challenging to find that balance between supporting someone and feeling like you’re dragging them along.
Wow, sounds like you're really stuck in a tough spot right now!!! Finding someone who likes you for you is great and all, but it seems like the differences between you are pretty big. It's wild to think she's already talking about serious commitments when you've got these concerns... Have you thought about what life would be like with her long-term? Just remember that wanting someone who clicks with your lifestyle and values isn't unrealistic; maybe giving yourself more time to figure out if this fits in the grand scheme of things is okay too! 😊
dang, it's tough being in a place where finding someone compatible feels like finding a needle in a haystack. it sounds like this girl really cares about you but when basics like state knowledge or simple math become hurdles, that's gotta be frustrating. have you guys had a conversation about these differences and how they affect you? maybe talking it out could give more insight into what you're both expecting from each other. sometimes people click even if it’s not exactly how we imagined; wondering if she's willing to work on these things too? that might make all the difference 🌟
Whoa, that sounds like a real head-scratcher. You're in this tricky situation with someone who definitely has qualities you like, but the whole package doesn't seem to fit perfectly. The thing is, being from a red state and trying to find someone who's compatible can make things ten times harder. Compatibility isn't just about shared hobbies or tastes; it's also about mutual respect for each other's backgrounds and knowledge level. Maybe you need to ask yourself if you're okay with potentially being the one always doing the teaching? Plus, it might be worth thinking about whether you're sticking around because you feel pressured to make something work in a limited dating scene or if there's genuine potential there. 🤔
Man, trying to find someone who clicks with you on multiple levels can be such a hassle!!! Dating in a red state as a gay woman does sound like its own unique brand of frustration, not gonna lie. If she's already talking about big commitments like promise rings and moving in after just a month... Yikes!! That does raise some alarm bells for me; it's good you're being upfront about your feelings though. Maybe it's worth really sitting down and weighing if this relationship aligns with what you see long-term or if it's more of a short-lived spark that won’t last. Just don't rush into s*** because we all deserve relationships that leave us feeling secure and valued, not overly stressed out...