How homophobia has ruined my relationship
The story
My girlfriend and I (I'm also a girl btw) have been dating for a year and ½ now, and for the first 11 months it was great. We loved each other, and we were comfortable around each other, and we felt safe. We would show physical affection daily, and it was both of our love languages. We would spend so much time together.
But then the bullying started. It was a range of homophobic comments and slurs, to even my girlfriend getting physically attacked by one of these people. The bullying was sorted out a few months back, but things haven't been the same since. Me and my griflriend haven't held hands in months. We haven't shown any physical affection in months. My girlfriend doesn't tell me everything anymore and we've just drifted apart. Because ever since the bullying we've been too scared too be ourselves again. And it hurts me so much because I want to hold her hand, to hug her but she is too scared now because of the homophobia. I understand but it stil hurts.
I still love her but i think all the bullying changed her, and we both know she doesn't feel that way anymore. We haven't broken up though because both of us have been too scared to say it.
I feel so alone because she was the one person who knew everything about me, who still loved me and now we're so distant.
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Points of view
hey, I totally get how hard this situation sounds, but I'm not sure I agree with everything here... have you thought about how "communication is key" in relationships??? it almost seems like you both stopped talking to each other... feeling scared because of past experiences is totally valid, yet kinda sounds like you both need to "rebuild trust".... maybe some open talks or a support group could help... it feels like you're both just assuming the worst without really checking in... hope things work out...
hey there, I really feel for what you're going through, but I can't help but question if avoiding the problem is the best approach 🤔... relationships thrive on "open communication" and understanding each other's fears; maybe it's worth trying to bridge that gap 😟... i remember when my partner and I faced a tough time, we found "communication was our lifeline" 🌱... feels like the bullying made you both withdraw—understandable, yet maybe "facing fears" together could be a path forward??? you say the bullying changed her, but change can be a process rather than a defining end; ever thought about what both of you genuinely want and how you could work towards it??? hope you find a way back to each other... 💪🌈
i really empathize with your situation and it sounds incredibly challenging, but it also seems like you're navigating it with a lot of awareness and care. i totally get what you mean about feeling distant; that's something many relationships go through, especially after facing external pressures. my partner and i hit a rough patch once, and what helped us was slowly reintroducing things that made us feel connected, like little gestures of affection or simple conversations. i believe that the love you share can endure even through these tough times. you mentioned the bullying changed things, and that's totally valid, yet maybe it's an opportunity for growth and resilience in your relationship; maybe take small steps to support each other and see where it leads. hang in there, it sounds like you both have a lot of strength and love to offer each other 💖.