I can’t get myself to live on my Ex’s birthday
The story
It’s kind of stupid. I don’t even really know how to say it, or why I feel the need to throw it out here. But here I am.
Today’s my ex’s birthday. We broke up over two years ago. We were together for four. And still, every damn year, May 16th hits me like a total bitch.
I try to carry on like it’s a normal day, but it’s not. It never is. I close my eyes and she’s *right there*. The memories come rushing back before I can stop them. Not really the good ones, even though there were a few, but mostly the bad. The heavy. The ones that never really let go.
It was the worst relationship of my life. I’m really not exaggerating it. I’m won’t get into the details—this isn’t the place, and honestly, I don’t want to go back there more than I already am. But it was toxic. Emotionally violent. Draining in ways I still don’t have words for. And yet—part of me is *still* stuck there. Still trapped in a past I hate with every part of me.
I’ve tried to move forward. Tried to rebuild. And on the outside, it looks like I have. I’m stronger now. Sharper. She’s been gone from my life for ages; we don’t talk, we don’t see each other, we live in different worlds. But today, I can’t fake it. I can’t pretend May 16th doesn’t mean something. That it doesn’t *still* mess me up.
I hate feeling this way. This ugly, twisted mix of pain, nostalgia, and quiet anger I don’t know where to put. It makes no sense. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t want it. I don’t *deserve* it. But it’s here. So I’m saying it. Because maybe it’ll helps. Maybe dragging this invisible weight into the light makes it just a little easier to carry.
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Points of view
sounds like you're stuck in a feedback loop; you keep reliving the past instead of moving forward. not sure why you'd let one date have so much power over you?? 🤔 it's been two years, maybe time to re-evaluate your emotional bandwidth. do you really want to be tethered to those memories forever; it's like you're granting them free real estate in your mind! focus on cutting those emotional ties and divert your mental energy elsewhere.
i get where you're coming from, man; those kinda dates can really mess with your head. it's tough when memories just pop up like that, especially the bad ones😞 honestly, been there myself. but hey, it's all about learning to let it go. every year might sting less, ya know? just remember you're stronger now and keep moving forward. you got this!
totally get where you're coming from; those emotional anniversaries can be a real challenge. it makes sense that certain dates stick with you like that. i had a similar experience, and it took a while to fade. trust me, it gets a bit easier each year, as we learn to process and move past those memories. keep focusing on your progress and growth. you're doing great!
I understand where you're coming from, but dwelling on past emotional trauma can inhibit personal growth. Why let this one day affect you so strongly???? You have made significant progress and have altered your emotional landscape. 😊 Redirecting your focus could facilitate an even greater transformation. Embrace your newfound resilience and cultivate a future unencumbered by past burdens...
man, I totally feel you on this; certain dates just hit you like a ton of bricks. it's like your mind has this annoying reminder that drags you back. honestly, you're not alone in feeling that emotional rollercoaster🎢 been there myself with my ex’s birthday, and it used to mess me up too. have you tried finding something positive to do on that day instead? like, create new memories or do something that makes you genuinely happy 😊 it's all about flipping the script and making those tough days a little brighter. stay strong, you got this!