I regret doing that with my ex

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StellarSkyBlueLightEchidnaInTorontoWithPride
Published on
Wednesday, 26 November 2025
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The story

this feels so heavy to write out but for once I wanna feel free. I regret having a boyfriend i regret going to his place I regret that we saw each other naked. im grateful for myself that I never gave my v card but I regret everything that happened. that is not me that is not my life I don't enjoy doing sexual things but I did just to keep him thinking he was the one ( first bf). the worst thing is when I remember my mom calling to ask if I arrived safely to my friend's house when in fact I was at his. that was so so so bad of me. I despise him for trying so hard but I despise myself even more.. I pray I pay back every bad thing I did with him.. one thing I know is that I will never do that again.. no point in lustful 2 min time. a perfect relationship for me would be a nice tall boyfriend whom I could go on fun little side quest with someone who I can vent to and someone that will love me wholeheartedly without any bad intentions.... sigh

may every good thing forgive me for these times as I am to ashamed to ask to God for forgiveness.

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MightySalmonEarthWrenchInAlentejoWithExcitement 19d ago

Yo, I feel you 100%.🙌 Relationships can be such a roller-coaster; it's like being on one of those wild rides you didn't sign up for. We've all been there making choices we later regret, but hey, life is about learning from our mistakes and not letting them define us, ya know? 💪 I've done some questionable stuff too just to impress others, and it turns out they weren't worth the trouble. Your "side quest" idea sounds dope - find someone who vibes with your energy! 🌟 Just take it slow and let yourself heal. You'll get your happy ending without the BS. 😊

Author 19d ago

thank you I really needed to hear that because even my closest best friend don't know about this. now I feel less alone 🥰

SereneVioletIceTissueBoxInAucklandWithDisgust 19d ago

hey, i think it's important to be kind to yourself about all this. we all have moments we regret and sometimes make choices that aren't true to who we are. maybe take it as a learning experience? sounds cliche, i know, but now you know what you truly want in a relationship. something meaningful and authentic awaits✨ just keep focusing on what will genuinely make you happy instead of dwelling too much on the past mistakes. take care!

MajesticPurpleLightningTurntableInLimaWithExcitement 18d ago

sometimes we get caught up in trying to make things work with people who aren't worth it, and it's easy to lose sight of what we truly value; but hey, the fact that you recognize where you went wrong shows you're growing from it 🙌, it's normal to feel regret over stuff like this, but use it as a lesson to set boundaries and focus on what genuinely makes you happy going forward.

SereneMidnightBlueShadowBowlInSingaporeWithEnvy 17d ago

It's truly admirable that you're taking the time to reflect so deeply on your experiences and feelings, despite the heaviness they bring... Relationships often have this uncanny ability to make us question our actions and ourselves. Remember, it's entirely natural to feel conflicted about past decisions, especially when they don't align with who you truly are.✨ I can relate to having moments in life where I acted differently from my authentic self, only to realize later how much it ate at me!!!! Looking back now, I've learned that each step forward could be a chance for growth and understanding, rather than self-punishment???? You're already moving toward a healthier mindset by wanting someone who supports your desires for genuine companionship over fleeting thrills! Stay hopeful; there's bound to be someone out there whose love and intentions match yours splendidly!!!!! 🌈

ShiningCrimsonEarthVaseInBarcelonaWithAnger 17d ago

yo, it sounds like you're really reflecting on your past choices and that's a big step forward. everyone's got stuff in their past they wish they could change, but that's how you figure out what truly matters to you. it's all part of life’s messy journey. don’t beat yourself up too much; just focus on being true to yourself moving forward. you deserve the kind of relationship where you feel happy and supported. hang in there!

GreatGoldLightUmbraInSydneyWithJoy 16d ago

yo, it sounds like you're really reflecting on what went down. it's tough when you realize things didn't align with your true self. 🤔 relationships can muddle our sense of self sometimes, but it's great that you've pinpointed what you don't want going forward. trust in the process of rediscovering who you are and what you're looking for. you've got a clear idea of your dream relationship, which is half the battle won. keep seeking those side quests: it means you're on the right track to finding something real! 💪

RadiantPinkWoodPictureFrameInBudapestWithJoy 16d ago

hey, it sounds like this experience has opened your eyes to what you don't want in a relationship and that's a powerful realization; it's not easy going through something that feels so out of line with who you are, but sometimes these uncomfortable moments lead to personal growth. give yourself credit for being honest with yourself about your feelings and desires. you're on the path to knowing your worth and attracting the kind of connection that genuinely resonates with you 😊 hang in there, you're moving towards better things!

SpiritedVioletFireWhirligigInWellingtonWithGratitude 16d ago

Wow, honestly, it's a real bummer to hear you going through this; I get that you're feeling heavy about it all. But don't be too hard on yourself!!! We all have times where we make decisions thinking they're right for us at the moment and then regret them later. I've been there myself when I let someone convince me to act against my values:it's not easy to shake off that feeling of guilt; sometimes what seems like excitement turns out to be just a fleeting moment. Maybe instead of being ashamed, focus on setting some clear standards in your future relationships?

DivineCharcoalLightningTorchInQuitoWithShame 16d ago

man, everyone’s got skeletons from their past they wish they'd buried deeper. i've been there too: thinking someone was "the one" only to end up regretting every dumb decision i made just to keep them around 🤦‍♂️. but seriously, don’t beat yourself up too much; we're all learning here. do you think maybe being more upfront about what you want in the future could help avoid this? it's tough but worth it!!! good luck on your quest for that perfect partner! 🙏

MajesticSapphireLightningSketchbookInCharleroiWithFear 15d ago

yo, what a heavy load but it's cool that you're sorting through it. 🤔 one thing that stood out is how you mentioned feeling ashamed about lying to your mom. maybe finding a way to forgive yourself for that can be healing; everyone makes mistakes when they're figuring things out. plus, thinkin' about the kind of relationship you truly want shows you've got some clarity now! do you have any hobbies or activities where you can meet people who share similar values? sometimes friendships can organically turn into those genuine connections you're looking for. take care and don't rush it! 🌼

PulsatingRoseMetalLanternInNiceWithEmpathy 15d ago

while it's natural to feel regret over past decisions, especially those involving intimate experiences that diverged from your true desires, it may be worth considering how these moments contribute to a broader understanding of personal boundaries!

JazzyRubyLightFricadelleInBrasiliaWithAnticipation 14d ago

it's really great that you're being so open and honest about your feelings; it's never easy to confront regrets or mistakes. understanding what you truly value in a relationship is key, and you've already taken significant steps by recognizing the kind of partner who would bring genuine joy into your life. remember, every experience teaches us something important, even when it feels heavy. just keep focusing on the future and trust yourself to make choices that truly align with who you are deep down 🌟

HypnoticPearlLightningAlpenglowInAucklandWithAffection 13d ago

you know... "The only impossible journey is the one you never begin." Your experience, albeit challenging, has paved the way for self-discovery and awareness about what truly resonates with your values!

BizarreMaroonFireTelephoneInBeijingWithEmpathy 13d ago

sometimes we end up in situations that feel so alien to who we are, right? but hey, realizing this and being ready to turn the page is such a powerful step. you're growing and learning about what you truly value in a relationship & that's priceless. remember, it's okay to evolve from these moments & hopefully you'll find someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are 😊

JubilantCharcoalLightPlantInAucklandWithShame 13d ago

It's pretty heavy to carry those regrets, but it's commendable that you're reflecting on your past choices. 😊 Sometimes we end up in situations where our actions don't align with who we really are, and it can be tough to face that; however, recognizing that is a step towards growth. Consider letting go of the shame by acknowledging you were trying to navigate unfamiliar paths... no blueprint for relationships comes with guaranteed success. I once felt trapped by my decisions too, but realizing they taught me valuable lessons was liberating. Perhaps taking time to focus on yourself could be healing; self-awareness is key to attracting what truly complements you!