No, you suddenly aren’t a good guy.
The story
recently, i’ve been having a lot angry feelings towards my ex boyfriend, who we will refer to as “Lyle”. Lyle and i met back in 2023, when i was 19 and he was 25. we met on grindr, hitting it off right away. Looking back now, i really wish i could’ve seen the immediate red flags after the first few dates that we had. I found out around the second date that he had an ex fiancé, which i was fine with because they seemed like they were on good terms. during that time when we had first started dating, we had a conversation one day where he told me that he was planning on going to a festival , that was themed around a very specific animated children’s movie. he would be going with his ex fiancé, but i shouldn’t have to worry because things “weren’t like that anymore”. i trusted him, and was okay with him going. a few weeks go by, i spend my 20th birthday with him and two of my friends.
In the beginning of September is when he left for the festival. One morning as i was getting ready to go to a friend’s house, I saw that he had texted me, and the beginning of the message started off with the dreaded “I’m so sorry (my name) but…”
He had sent me an essay explaining that he had planned on cheating on me with one of the ex bridesmaids, and his ex fiancé had found out, and tried to commit s*icide by jumping out of the car. on top of that, he would be missing his flight home, just so he could stay and take care of her after the fact. of course my naive ass didn’t break up with him, and this cycle continued.
We were on and off for a few years, he constantly would be doing sneaky things behind my back. for example another major time that he cheated on me, was when he told me that he was going to colorado with a friend, but instead went to vegas with some girl and they slept together. Recently I found out he’d been sleeping with his coworker while he was working as an EMT for border patrol. He got fired from that job because he kept calling out, and the reason he kept calling out was due to his rampant alcohol abuse. He even admitted to me that he would drink at work, but hadn’t gotten caught. He had to move back to his home state in the northeastern part of the states after this, since his job provided his housing.
He moved away in January of 2025, and we kept in close contact. In June of that year, we went to a city close by to his state for a concert, and that was the last time we saw each other. He made several empty promises, I should’ve known that would be the last time I saw him.
In the early fall I could tell he was growing distant. He kept bringing up this “friend” he had, and I was already getting a bad feeling. In October he was supposed to fly out and go visit the coworker he had been sleeping with, but ended up missing the flight (might i add, she paid for the ticket). when he finally broke it off with me, he used every pathetic excuse about how he “had needs” and told me that he was going to live his life while he was out there. which is a load of bullshit, considering the only reason he’s out there is because he got fired. We stayed in contact for a while after, and the last time I talked to him he had gotten fired from the job he had gotten since moving there.It was another medical job and go figure, for the same exact reason. He also got a new job, but failed the drug test because he used fake urine, so didn’t end up getting hired.
But now, Lyle suddenly thinks that just because he has a new girlfriend that he is suddenly absolved of all the hurt, and the emotional damage he’s caused for people, especially his romantic partners. He hasn’t ever faced any real repercussions for his abhorrent behavior, and I need to make sure that people know about this before he can cause anymore harm. He is a lying, manipulative, deceitful prick who only cares about what he can stick his dick in next. What makes things even worse is that when him and his new girlfriend started dating, we hadn’t stopped being sexual with each other, cause he waited until the very last minute to tell me. I wish I could find information about his ex fiancé and his coworker, but he was so secretive with the people in his life that getting to know him like that felt impossible. The people in his life need to know about what he does to people, and how quickly he will destroy his relationships with his friends just to fulfill his own pathetic ego.
Should I post this on r/AIO? I’m not really sure what to do but This needs to be shared.
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Points of view
Man, Lyle sounds like a piece of work. I had a friend do something similar; she was constantly lying and cheating and treating people like they were disposable. You think they're gonna change, right? But they never do. It's nuts how some folks seem to leave chaos in their wake yet never face true consequences for it. Sharing your story could warn others, but remember to take care of yourself first!
Wow, what a wild ride you've been through with Lyle. It's crazy how some folks just skate by without facing the music for their actions, right? 🤔 Sharing your story might be cathartic and help others spot similar behaviors in people they know. Just make sure you're ready for any drama that could come from airing it all out online! Take care of yourself first, always. 🌟
honestly, sounds like a trainwreck of drama. it's crazy that you hung on for so long with lyle's behavior pattern. tbh, sharing this online might vent some steam but won't really change the dude; he'll probably keep screwing people over whether he's exposed or not. focus more on protecting yourself emotionally and recognizing what you deserve in relationships; life's too short to waste on these kinds of toxic people.
honestly i’m surprised i did too, i absolutely can never put myself in that situation again. i did love him a lot, but he’s never faced consequences, and that’s frustrating sometimes. but it does feel good to vent it out anonymously for the time being. thank u for ur advice <3
Maybe it's just me, but these types of people always seem to get away with everything, leaving us to pick up the pieces; makes you wonder if karma's taking a never-ending vacation.
right? 😭😭😭it’s okay though, i know in my heart he will show everyone his true colors.
yo, i feel your pain. had a similar experience with an ex who was a master at dodging responsibility while leaving wreckage behind. it’s so frustrating how they go through life just messing things up for others and still act like they're untouchable. it's almost laughable how they think a new relationship wipes their slate clean. sharing your story might help you and others see those red flags sooner, but keep in mind that drama can escalate once it's out there. maybe talk it out with someone close to figure out the best move? you deserve some peace after all that madness!
dude, Lyle is an absolute dumpster fire of a human. it's like he's got a masters in manipulation with a minor in sketchy behavior; how do people live like that? man, posting it could definitely shine some light on his bs and maybe help save someone else from the same trap you fell into. but remember to protect your peace - don't get dragged back into the mess again for this clown's sake.
i get that dealing with someone like Lyle must've been incredibly draining for you. relationships can be so complex, and it's frustrating when someone isn't held accountable for their actions, especially when they leave a trail of emotional wreckage behind them. if you're considering sharing this story, think about what will truly benefit you in the long run—whether that's warning others or just finding some closure for yourself. focusing on your own healing process might give you more peace than exposing his faults to everyone.
Lyle sounds like a real piece of work, but honestly, airing it all online might not be worth the trouble? 🤨 Sharing might feel satisfying for a moment, but the backlash or drama could be more stress than it's worth. Focus on taking care of yourself and moving forward with your life; eventually people like him face their own consequences anyway.
sounds like you were caught in a cycle of endless bullshit with that loser Lyle; the nerve to think he can just wipe the slate clean without any accountability is infuriating.
i feel like situations like this can really mess with your head, especially when someone you cared about repeatedly let you down and yet somehow manages to stay out of real trouble. it hits close to home for me because i’ve had similar experiences where i kept hoping they'd eventually get what they deserve, but instead they just seem to skim through the consequences untouched. that said, sharing your story might help raise awareness for sure, but make sure you're ready emotionally for any backlash it might bring online. sometimes these internet dramas can take an unexpected toll on our mental health if we're not prepared. i'm rooting for you in moving forward and finding peace, maybe with time his facade will crumble naturally without needing any more action from your end.