Manipulative Boyfriend

Hey there, wow, sounds like you're going through a lot right now! 😮 It's amazing how much empathy and care you show towards others—even when it seems they're not treating you with the same kindness. Relationships can be tough, especially when emotions are all over the place, but it’s important to recognize when someone’s behavior is making you uncomfortable or causing distress. Like your mom and sister pointed out, it's crucial to make sure you’re not being manipulated into excusing bad behavior. Staying honest and communicating openly about how you're feeling is a great step forward! Maybe having a calm heart-to-heart with him could help both of you clarify what needs work in the relationship? Make sure to take care of yourself too!!! your mental health is just as important in this journey. Good luck! 😊

hey, it sounds like you're in a bit of a whirlwind with all this. relationships, especially new ones, can be so intense and full of emotions that it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. i totally understand wanting to help someone you care about but remember to protect your own peace as well. something i've learned is that it's important for both partners to work on themselves individually too—when each person is mentally strong, the relationship benefits as well. maybe suggesting some activities you both enjoy or finding mutual goals could foster growth without making it feel burdensome? just keep listening to your instincts and take things one step at a time. wishing you strength and clarity!

Hey, it seems like this is similar to a situation I had awhile ago and there were a couple things I think could be helpful to you today/going forward. For context, I'm male and deal with borderline disorder so I'm used to relationships feeling intense.

1). It doesn't seem like either of you are trying to hurt each other. Lovebombing, vague statements, hurtful jokes, and getting angry at eachother can hurt a relationship, but you're both human and these things happen. What's important is that it looks like you are both *open* to forgiveness and a healthy relationship. I think that shows that this might not be "manipulation" so much as it is "instability" or "poor boundary management".

2). Intense relationships cause instability, but you can fix this. When you have very intense feelings of joy/love/excitement, dopamine spikes in your brain to reward you, but your brain needs to maintain a balance so afterwards dopamine will drop. In relationships, this means the more you care about someone, the more often you'll have strong negative emotions to deal with, and it makes relationships unstable. What you should do instead is introduce limits and consistency. If you intend to continue dating this person, you should both communicate a couple of things you are unwilling to go without, a couple things you won't give up for eachother, and a couple things which you are both open to exploring with proper communication. For consistency, try greeting and leaving rituals. For example: you call, say a set greeting and every time you leave you say "talk to you tommorrow/this weekend/etc" just be consistent and be able to agree on when you'll talk next.

3). It seems like your boyfriend has some serious self-esteem issues. These are not your issues to deal with, but be aware of the verbiage you use. It's clear that you care about him, but that the way he behaves feels antagonizing. I don't think it's "male ego" or a "desperate attempt for attention", whatever it is, it's personal. It seems like you'd like to recognize the "issue" so you can help him but doing that means attributing your own perceptions onto someone else's character. My advice, ask what he thinks he should do for himself to be a better person by his own metrics and be supportive.

4). Recognize that things are unstable but don't make that your relationship. It seems like your boyfriend has self esteem issues, and you might be struggling with distance in your relationship. This can be exhausting. Either of you are equally valid to be tired or stressed out by this. Just hang in there, and find things you can do together that don't cause stress (find a show you can both talk about/play a game together/share some music). Also, when you take space for yourself, just be clear and open about it.

These are just some things from the other side that might help you understand how your boyfriend is feeling. Hopefully this helps, good luck to you!

Hey, it sounds like you're navigating a really complex situation. I find your deep empathy and desire to see the best in people truly admirable, but it's important to balance that with ensuring you're not getting drained emotionally. From my experience, coming up with "communication rules" can be helpful—like agreeing on a way to address issues calmly before they escalate. You mentioned he wants to get better for you—do you think setting mutual goals or boundaries could help both of you grow together without one feeling overwhelmed? Your insight into recognizing patterns, like manipulation tactics, is already a step towards healthier interactions! 🌟

yo, reading your post made me think of this one time I dated a dude with similar vibes. it felt like everything was a rollercoaster—one minute all good, next minute drama central. i get wanting to help him change but don't let his issues drag you down too, y'know? you mentioned blaming yourself for not making him happy like walk that back; you're not responsible for fixing someone else's insecurities. sometimes people act all sweet when they screw up just to keep you hooked, and it's tough figuring if they're genuine or just playing games. you've got your own mental health to look after so prioritizing yourself isn't selfish, it's necessary; thinking back, I'd suggest keeping an eye on patterns rather than exceptions because real change takes hard work over time. hope this helps ya figure things out 🙃

ugh, it's pretty wild how you go out of your way to help others and still end up with all this emotional baggage. 😤 honestly, it sounds like there's a weird cycle between his need for validation and how much you want to support him. ever think about setting some personal boundaries? they're key in any relationship. you seem really empathetic, but are you getting the same level of empathy back from him? keep your chin up—prioritize what makes *you* happy too!

hey, it's wild that you're in such a rollercoaster situation with him 😅. i get where you're coming from with wanting to help him change and grow together, but you gotta protect yourself too. sometimes people need space to figure out their own issues before they can fully contribute to a relationship. maybe take some time for yourself to assess how his actions really affect you 🤔. it might be worth considering if this relationship is truly bringing out your best self and helping you become the person you want to be; remember, you deserve happiness as much as he does! wishing ya all the best on this journey 😊✨

yo, sounds like you're juggling a lot of emotional stuff right now 😅. everyone’s saying it and i'll say it too: you need to prioritize yourself, dude. yeah, you care about him and that’s cool; but honestly, if he’s flipping between being sweet and pushing your buttons, that ain’t healthy. what’s that quote? “you can't pour from an empty cup” or something like that—focus on filling your own cup first 👌. maybe do some solo activities or hang out with friends to recalibrate your mind; sometimes space lets things settle in their place without forcing them too hard 🌟;. remember, being there for him doesn’t mean losing yourself! keep shining bright and taking care of numero uno ✨.

Dang, it sounds like you're on an emotional rollercoaster here. Honestly, trying to balance empathy for him and taking care of yourself must be draining as hell. 🤯 Have you thought about what you'd like from this relationship in a year or two? Sometimes thinking long-term can help clarify if it's worth the energy now. Don't forget that putting your own needs first sometimes isn't selfish—it's necessary!

Hey, it seems like you're in a really intense situation. I get that you want to see the best in him and help each other grow, but make sure you're not losing yourself in the process. Make space for your own growth too—sometimes stepping back and reassessing what truly makes you happy helps clear up mixed emotions. Also, don't underestimate the power of setting firm boundaries; they can keep the relationship healthy and balanced. Just remember it’s okay to prioritize your own well-being!

Hello there 😊, your situation indeed resonates with many aspects of interpersonal dynamics I have read about. It's quite commendable how you are striving to maintain balance between empathy and self-care—qualities essential in nurturing any relationship. Reflecting on past experiences, it's crucial to recognize the power of self-awareness and setting clear boundaries. You mentioned that this is your first relationship, which can often feel like walking through uncharted territory. Personally, I've found that journaling thoughts or feelings regularly can offer clarity when emotions become overwhelming. As both you and your boyfriend aim to grow together from this experience, perhaps consider initiating honest dialogues about personal growth goals outside the relationship as well—it’s sometimes surprising how much we learn about ourselves by reflecting on individual aspirations too! Remember, fostering a healthy sense of independence while being in a couple can strengthen your bond considerably over time 🌟.

man, reading through all that gave me some serious déjà vu. it's pretty common to fall for the "i'll change" line when someone knows you care so much. but here's the deal: no matter how much you want to help him become a better version of himself, he's gotta do it on his own steam. trust me; i've been there, trying hard to make things work while drowning in someone else's chaos. take a step back and focus on what truly makes you happy because at the end of the day, you're only responsible for your own happiness. don't let his rollercoaster emotions dictate your self-worth or peace of mind—life's too short for all that drama!

hey there, sounds like you're in a really challenging spot right now. i totally get the pressure of trying to make things work, especially in a first relationship. you might find it helpful to reflect on what your own values and boundaries are outside of the relationship—sometimes knowing what you won't compromise helps steer conversations in a healthier direction. also, maybe consider keeping a journal or notes on these experiences; they might help you recognize patterns over time and see how both of you are growing (or not). just remember, change shouldn’t be one-sided; he needs to put in genuine effort too. hang in there! 😊

Hey there, it sounds like you're navigating some pretty complicated waters with your relationship. I think it's awesome that you've already realized how important it is to communicate honestly about what's hurting you—it's a big step toward mutual respect and growth!!

wow, it's hard... especially when you're dealing with a mix of emotions that swing from deeply affectionate to downright frustrating; 😬 However, while you are keen on helping him grow and better himself, it's crucial to remember the importance of reciprocal respect and acknowledgment in a partnership. Professional relationships often thrive on what’s known as ‘positive reinforcement,’ where both parties recognize each other’s efforts and achievements. Maybe try accentuating this principle in your interactions with him? Encourage open communication about goals not only for the relationship but individually too; by aligning personal growth paths, you might find a more harmonious state moving forward together. Keep an eye out, though—it's essential he reciprocates similarly to truly build something fruitful!