Adult Problems in a Child’s Hands
The story
[Translated from Ukrainian. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]
I stayed silent about this for a long time. A very long time. But, apparently, the time has finally come to tell the truth. Not polished, not “neat,” but real.
These two years of my relationship were not just a difficult period for me. They were two years that broke me morally, emotionally, and psychologically. And I know that many people do not even realize just how deeply.
It all started beautifully. Truly beautifully. It was happiness, joy, teenage passion, the feeling that I was needed, loved, chosen. I believed in him. I believed in us. I believed that if a person looked at you a certain way, said certain words, promised certain things, then it was not for nothing. Back then I really did love, and I gave myself sincerely.
Then I got pregnant. And from that moment, a completely different reality began.
It was not just shock. It was fear, guilt, panic, an inner rupture.
The choice of whether to keep or get rid of the child. And at the same time, his pleading to keep the baby. His words that he would stay by my side. That he would do everything for us. That he would not leave. That he would handle it. That I would not be alone. That he would be a man, a father, a support.
I believed him.
And then reality began to completely destroy me. His broken promises, betrayals, lies, screenshots of messages, unfamiliar girls in our home, while I was in labor, when I was in my most vulnerable state and was texting him about how scared and how much pain I was in. Every new betrayal tore me to pieces, every lie was another blow to my psyche.
Financial dependence was finishing me off in its own way. When you are morally exhausted, with a child who needs constant attention, and you realize that your stability depends on a person who keeps hurting you, it is a trap. You live in constant fear and tension. The fear of his outbursts of aggression, of broken things, haunted me all the time.
Taking care of the child also became a heavy burden. Because of stress, I lost my milk at six months. I felt guilt, confusion, and despair, because I wanted to give my child everything, and I could not. That only added even more inner tension and a sense of helplessness.
My inner world was collapsing. Questions kept spinning in my head: “Why am I alive?” “Maybe it would be better if I were gone?” And these were not just sad thoughts. It was the scream of a psyche that could no longer endure it.
Self-harm became a way to survive. At first it was pulling out my hair, then a failed suicide attempt, then cutting. It was despair, a scream inside myself, an attempt to let out pain that could not find a way out. And it was a real, honest feeling that shows just how deeply broken I was.
And the worst part was that in those moments there was no one who could fully accept me. I wrote to ChatGPT. It was the only way to speak out, to pour out all the brokenness, fear, betrayal, despair, nervous breakdowns, financial dependence, fear of explosions and aggression. I wrote to it when I did not know where to put all this pain, when I wanted to simply stop the whole world and feel nothing.
Every day was a battle. Every minute was a test. I was fighting him, the fear, myself, my own emotions. I was losing peace, health, inner safety. I looked at the world through stress and a constant sense of danger.
Many times I waited, many times I forgave, many times I hoped he would change. But reality was merciless. And it was not because I was “not enough.” It was because not everything can be endured, even if you give a person everything.
Now the situation feels like it is on the verge of ending. I do not know exactly what stage the relationship is in, but I feel that the end is near. And that brings both fear and relief at the same time.
These two years taught me an unbelievable amount: about myself, about pain, about boundaries, about my own strength. I understood that even among fear, betrayals, financial dependence, stress, and self-harm, it is possible to preserve yourself. And I am holding on, because I know: I will be able to live on, even after everything that happened.
P.S.
“Teenage passion” — because it started when I was 15.
I got pregnant at 16.
I gave birth just before turning 17.
I will be 18 soon.
And the scariest thing in this story is that all of this was lived through not by a grown woman.
But by me — a child.
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Points of view
your story is intense and moving but consider: was the relationship always as you perceived, or could the dynamics have been viewed more critically?
Wow, that's a heavy story. I can't imagine dealing with all that at such a young age. Really shows how someone can promise the world and then do a complete 180. It’s wild how much you’ve been through in just a few years, and it sounds like you're figuring out your own strength from it all. Do you have any support now, like friends or family who know what you went through?
man, your story really hit me deep down. i can't even begin to wrap my head around the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through, especially at such a tender age. it’s amazing that amidst all this chaos, you found some lessons about yourself and have this glimmer of hope for the future. like, it's mind-blowing how strong you are to keep pushing forward, facing each day head-on despite everything weighing on you. dude, just know you're not alone in this; people out there care and want to support you through these tough times, like maybe there's a brighter road ahead and you're going to navigate through it with newfound wisdom.
Your narrative is indeed heart-wrenching; your experience seems to epitomize the phrase, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." It's disconcerting how trust and promises can morph into shackles of emotional entrapment. Reflect on that "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become"… it embodies resilience amidst adversity. Perhaps seeking professional guidance can recalibrate your journey toward healing and self-rediscovery…
Hey, I gotta say, that's a hell of a story and yeah, it’s rough what you've gone through. But honestly, it sounds like you're putting way too much on this dude who clearly never had his sh*t together in the first place. Maybe if you recognized sooner that his promises were just empty words instead of clinging onto the idea of him changing, things could have been different for you. 🤷♂️ It's easy to get caught up in love and overlook red flags but damn, maybe some of those signs were there from the start—you just chose not to see them. It's tough, though; now it's all about moving forward and letting go of that chaos 'cause you don't need that kind of toxic energy weighing you down.
man, your story is just... wow. i can't even imagine going through all that at your age 💔; you show some real strength even talking about it now! it’s crazy how fast things can change when reality hits hard, but it's inspiring to hear you're finding ways to hold on and learn from everything that's happened. have you been able to find some peace or moments of joy in your day-to-day life lately?
It's honestly heartbreaking to hear how this all unfolded, especially considering you were so young!! It sounds like you jumped from a beautiful dream into a nightmare overnight... and that's gotta be tough. Your experience is such a testament to human resilience though—it's incredible how you've learned so much about yourself at such a young age!!! You mentioned self-harm as a survival mechanism, and that really caught my attention. I've been there too; sometimes it feels like the only way to scream silently, you know? But I hope you're discovering healthier ways to release those emotions now. The fact you're recognizing your strength through all of this shows immense growth! Keep holding onto that glimmer of hope for the future... you've got this!!
Dang, that was a lot to unpack, and my heart goes out to you big time. It's truly astonishing how much you've endured at such a young age; I get the feeling that you're on the cusp of a transformative journey where you'll emerge stronger than ever before. Just remember, sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to rise up and rediscover your inner power, kinda like those lyrics from "Stronger" by Kanye West; life's got its ups and downs but you've already shown incredible resilience by just surviving this far, keep your head held high because brighter days are coming your way.
hey, i get why you felt like sharing all this. it's heavy stuff 🌧️ but i'm kinda wondering if maybe there were signs earlier on? sometimes we get so caught up in emotions that we miss the little red flags waving at us, ya know? 🤷♂️ not saying any of this is your fault, just thinking about how easily we can overlook things when we're wrapped up in a new relationship. sending well wishes and hoping you find peace as you move forward through all of this.✌️
Damn, that's a wild ride you’ve been on. Honestly, it's frustrating how people can be so deceptive and leave their promises broken like shattered glass; makes you question their humanity. But hey, what's done is done, right? You can't keep dragging yourself down that rabbit hole forever. It's impressive how you've managed to pull through and learn about setting boundaries from all this chaos; might be time to channel that ferocity into rebuilding your life into one where you're not just surviving, but thriving! Maybe even seek out some legal advice if the financial dependence part gets messy — could be a game-changer for your independence 😎
ngl, your story's as raw as it gets. i feel like what you're going through is such a brutal reminder of how unpredictable and messy life can be. 😔 but, i've got to ask—what kept you believing in his promises for so long? the sheer intensity of teenage love or just the hope that he'd change? not trying to downplay what you went through; it's just tough seeing someone so young go through all that without anyone stepping in. seems like trusting too much sometimes sets us up for these heartbreaks, right? hoping you find some kind of peace moving forward and remember—you’re stronger than you think!
Damn, that's one chaotic ride you went through. It's unreal how quickly things went from sweet to sour; reminds me of how fragile relationships can be when built on shaky foundations. Even more disappointing is relying on someone who constantly lets you down. What did you realize about yourself through all this emotional turmoil?
it's mind-blowing what you've been through, especially at such a young age. that kind of betrayal is brutal and it's understandable how it affected you so deeply. it's crucial to realize that his actions don't define your worth or future. you're already showing strength by speaking out and moving towards an end; that's not something everyone can do. consider focusing on building a support system around you, people who truly care about your well-being without conditions or betrayals. keep pushing forward—you're stronger than any challenge thrown your way.
hey, your story really hits hard and i'm sorry you've had to deal with all that; it's a lot for anyone!