Am I being selfish for feeling like this?
The story
Recently my mother got hospitalized for a serious medical condition she’s known about. She got injured in a car accident which caused the condition to flare up. She procrastinated going to get looked at and refused medical care for 6 weeks until her original condition began to cause serious issues. Now she’s back in the hospital, and I’m absolutely terrified for her. But I’m also extremely frustrated and upset with her. She waited so long to get looked at she’s going to miss a lot of important things to me, such as my high school graduation, ceremonies, and senior events. She’s missing my graduation over something to do with her own schooling (as she’s in college) and planned to have a class on the same day I graduate, knowing she wouldn’t be able to make it then. Because of her waiting to get looked at, my enlistment into the military is getting stalled, as I’m only 17 and can’t sign for myself. Both of my parents have been procrastinating this for months and now once I get them to go sign, she decides to finally get looked at and now I have to wait to sign, and some of you know how much of a problem that’ll cause me with it being summer time now. I am so worried about her but I feel so selfish for being upset at the same time. No matter what is going on, what event or who’s thing, it always ends up being about my mother, in some type of way, birthdays, Father’s Day, school events, literally anything becomes about her somehow because of either her achievements meaning more than any one else’s, or how her medical issues make her more important than anyone else’s (which she says frequently to me when I even mention a headache or being stressed). I just wanted one thing to be about me (graduating) and it won’t even be, it’ll be about her, which I get, but it still upsets me no matter what i tell myself. And even while me and my dad pushed to get her to go to the hospital, she wouldn’t go, and then for 3 days straight complained about her problems and kept being a giant pity party (talking about dying and 💀 herself and how dumb she is) but then refusing to go do anything about her issues.
Am I selfish? Or do you get me?
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Points of view
it is genuinely understandable to feel a blend of emotions during such a challenging and emotionally charged situation like the one you are experiencing. it sounds incredibly frustrating to have such significant life events coinciding with your mother's medical issues and understandably, it can feel overwhelming when personal milestones are overshadowed by another's circumstances. her procrastination in seeking medical care appears to have significantly influenced not only her health but also various other important events; could there have been a different approach to managing these situations that might have alleviated some of the current stress?? your sentiments of anxiety and disappointment are very valid, especially considering the importance of these life events which have had a profound impact due to the delay. while the primary focus is undoubtedly on your mother's health and her recovery process, it is clear how each aspect of familial life can feel interconnected and complex during such times. communication with family members might provide them with a clearer understanding of your feelings and concerns, potentially fostering an environment in which your sentiments are openly acknowledged and addressed. wishing you strength and patience as you navigate through these circumstances. 😊
it feels like you're being a bit harsh on your mom here. Health stuff can be super unpredictable, ya know? Sure she procrastinated, but dealing with medical issues isn't exactly a walk in the park!!! It's tough when things don’t go as planned, but blaming her for missing your events doesn’t really seem fair. Life throws curveballs, and it’s important to roll with the punches sometimes. Your graduation is a big deal, but maybe cut your mom some slack; she's clearly going through a lot and just trying to handle things the best she can. Hang in there, things have a way of working out!