angry crying
The story
so, i'm sitting in my car right now. just got off the phone with my cousin, who always seems to know exactly how to get under my skin. it's like she has a PhD in button pressing....i mean seriously, how does someone become such an expert at it? i swear, every time we talk it turns into some kind of mental chess match where i'm never the one who wins. today was no different. there i was, minding my own business when she decided to bring up that thing from years ago. you know, the one we've all moved past except apparently her.
it's infuriating because she acts so innocent about it like she's just making casual conversation while i'm over here trying not to explode. then comes the part where she pretends to be concerned about me!! as if she's not the reason i'm on edge in the first place! i ended up snapping and hung up before i said something i'd regret (or would i?). now here i am parked outside a random grocery store angry crying behind the wheel hoping nobody notices what a mess i've become. this isn't even peak rush hour but there's still way too many people around for comfort.
i keep thinking about something grandpa used to say: 'family's like fish they go bad after three days.' makes me laugh every time cause it's true but also kinda sad when you think about it too long. anyway i'm trying hard not to let this ruin my day or week or whatever comes next... maybe i'll take a deep breath blast some of those old tunes that somehow make everything feel better ya know? peace out till next time...
Stories in the same category
Points of view
At some point we have to take measures to protect ourselves from the past or people who abuse it. I gave up all my blood to seek our genuine peace away from their need to revisit old woulds again and again. Maybe you don't need to do something like that, but you can certainly enforce a no nonsense rule on subjects that hurt. You are allowed to have a red line, everyone is allowed to. No one is forced to acknowledge it of course but it then allows you to enforce that red line in whatever way you think is far. Example: Painful subject>Hang up the phone. Be vocal "Yo, I'm not discussing this anymore." For myself, even, I took to explaining only if I thought the challenge to these methods was reasonable. So, if after you draw that line she or he or whomever asks for clarification, if they seen genuine, cool. If not, just say "I owe you none." You don't.
that's a solid point... I like the idea of setting a red line. saying "I'm not discussing this anymore" sounds direct and freeing... I'm going to try that next time she brings up old stuff. thanks for the advice!
I totally get what you're saying about family being able to push our buttons like no one else can! I remember once my brother did something similar: brought up an old argument during Thanksgiving dinner and suddenly everyone was walking on eggshells around each other. It's crazy how quickly those little things can escalate sometimes!
Thank you for understanding! Family definitely has a knack for stirring things up when we least expect it. Eggshells...exactly how it feels sometimes. Here’s hoping next time goes smoother, right?
I hear you but sometimes it's worth staying calm.
'Kinda trying' is my middle name these days lol!
it's tough when family dynamics become so complicated... :(
oh man, i've been there. families can really put us through emotional ringer huh? makes ya wonder why we bother with them sometimes... but then again they're kinda stuck with us too lol.
It's frustrating how certain people can push our buttons so effortlessly, almost as if they've got a manual on what makes us tick, but I'm curious: have you ever tried setting boundaries with her to see if it changes the dynamic?
Sounds like you've got a real expert in psychological warfare on your hands, but don't forget the power of humor and sarcasm to throw her off her game.
ha! humor's my usual go-to, but in the heat of the moment i totally forgot. funny thing is, last time i tried sarcasm with her she took it as a compliment! talk about backfire...
I've been there too, that maddening cycle with family where it feels like a game you can't win. Honestly, it's wild how certain people just have that knack for dredging up the past like it's some kind of twisted sport. Maybe they thrive on the tension? I've wondered if they're even aware or if it's more subconscious. Something my aunt used to say sticks with me: "You can pick your friends but not your family," which sometimes makes finding peace within these relationships almost... daunting. Mental chess is exhausting, especially when you're taking steps back each time; maybe next time take a quick detour after a call, get some ice cream and park somewhere calm before engaging again, it might help manage the aftermath better!
sounds frustrating... :-/
dude same exact thing happened with my aunt last week! families sure got their quirks but guess we're all stuck together in this wild ride right?
Wild ride indeed :) sometimes feels more like a roller coaster without seatbelts!
not worth your tears.
It's incredible how the people closest to us, like family, can sometimes be the ones who know exactly which buttons to press. 🎯 I totally understand the feeling when someone brings up a topic you thought was buried. My cousin has this habit of reminding me of my teenage blunders every holiday dinner. It's almost like clockwork! Turning on some comforting music really can work wonders for calming down after such moments. It's important to have those little tricks that help you reset when things get too intense. Stay strong and play your tunes loud!
Maybe it's time for some boundaries or distance?? you deserve peace too...
'Peace too' is so important yet tough sometimes.
It's mind-boggling just how family members can be world-class at pushing our buttons, almost like it's an Olympic sport. Such interactions can leave us questioning our sanity. Have you ever tried using humor as a defense mechanism? Sometimes throwing in a lighthearted joke when she tries to dig up the past could diffuse her approach and lighten the mood (though I know how difficult that can be). Still, best of luck with managing these tricky conversations!
Humor, huh? That's a good thought. I've tried that once or twice and it either works brilliantly or crashes and burns spectacularly! It's definitely worth keeping in mind for next time, though. Thanks for the idea!
man - reminds me of when my older sister called me just outta nowhere and insisted on talking about our high school drama as if nothing ever changed in these years since! haha gotta love em though - can't choose your fam can ya?
This echoes every holiday dinner at mine: we've all been through it!