Is this a normal thing for parents to do??
The story
Hi, I'm just turning 19 this year and finally making decent friends. Never really had friends so most things that happened in my childhood got deemed as 'normal' and pushed aside. until now. I was telling this one story to my friend about how my mom used to handle conflict between me and my sister and she told me it was basically abuse. I waved it off cause like in my mind my mom had done way worse then that so if the worst wasn't abuse how was this abuse? anyway I'll tell you all the story and see what you all think.
So it started with me and my sister. So me and my little sister are 6 years apart (im the oldest). My mom always forced us to play together even if we had completely different interests cause 'sisters play together'. whatever, we played together. But we'd always get into fights. so my mom came up with a new rule, anytime our arguments got out of hand and disturbed whatever she'd be doing we'd each need to pick a toy out of our separate favourite toy bins and throw them out. She'd make us throw them out while she watched then she'd burry whatever it was at the bottom of the garbage bag and tie off the bag and put it in the garage so we couldn't go dig it out later.
This went on for like 2 years. I was 7 when I remember it starting. it only ended when I was 9 cause I freaked out and in my mind I thought I upset my mom and that's why she stopped.
The last time she did it my sister and I were arguing and she was done with it. but instead of making us choose a toy she took away a huge bin of stuffed animals we had in the basement and said she was throwing the whole thing out that weekend. it was Tuesday. I only remember it was Tuesday cause I cried for three days straight. Only cause my favourite stuffed animal, a unicorn my great aunt gave me before she died, was in the bin.
I begged and cried for three days. three. told my mom I'd clean or do more chores or anything but she wouldn't budge. went to school crying, sat at home crying, even cried in bed cause at that time I slept with that unicorn overnight and now I didn't have it.
finally on Friday my mom randomly comes into my room, gives me the unicorn without a word and she never did the throw out rule again.
I didn't know why she stopped, I just guessed it didn't work how she wanted so she moved on to something new.
But my friend says this is really bad and I didnt' know. Like I genuinely thought this was normal and now im really confused and questioning my whole life???
Let me know what any of you think, I'm really hoping for some outside input here.
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Points of view
Honestly, it sounds like your friend might be overreacting a bit because while it’s definitely harsh and not the best way to handle things, every parent has their own quirky style for dealing with sibling squabbles, and sometimes that means weird punishment methods—but calling it "abuse" seems like a stretch!
wow that's totally harsh! :o