Me and my dad have problems and I think im being immature

My dad and my mom divorced when I was 8, and my mom took me in the custody. Around that time, both my mom and dad were drug users and it affected me badly. But thats a story for another time. Either way is that, my dad rarely called or talked to me. The times he did call was good, until he got a girlfriend and all hell broke lose. When I was ten, I remember distinctly she kicked me and him out of the house, and threw my favorite book away. It was almost 100 degrees outside and we had to walk almost five hours. It was straight up miserable. Everytime I even tried to talk to him, she was there to pick a fight with my mom and take it out on me. My mom is sober now, and I think thats what causing her to be angrier. Or maybe its because she thinks im a threat. Im fifteen, and I guess she doesn't like it. She has made some vague rapey threats towards me infront of him. Ive left crying his house multiple times. But hes not innocent either, he has repeatedly never talked to me unless its every six months. He went to my eighth grade graduation, but it ended in disaster anyway with her texting me. Every hang out with him is a disaster, I started to get the urge to completely cut him out a few months ago when we were trying to have an all weekend hang out together before my school started. But, his girlfriend called and called me and my mother a bunch of names. She called me a whorish bastard child. Now, after I keep making effort to reach out, this last hang out ended with her texting me and saying alot of mean things again. I told my mom, and she decided that it was enough. She told me not to contact him until he got his act together, because hes letting her act this way or so she said. But I feel bad, maybe im sensitive and blocking him was too much but I sent him a rude text and now I feel guilty. Because she probably read that text and now im sure that she hates me too when I tried to be harmless. I dont know if I should block him or apologize but being around that was genuinely making me hurt myself.

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