is it normal to think about dying everyday?
The story
sometimes i wonder if it's normal to think about dying every single day. i mean, my family history is like a horror show or somthin' with cancer all over the damn place. last aunt who passed away, they said 'fight like a warrior,' but she still went down too young man 😂. so it kinda feels like there's this big schedule up there i'm not aware of and who's next for the cosmic lottery? me or one of my cousins?
just thinkin' about it makes me question so many things, you know what i'm sayin'? growing up my dad used to joke 'we got more in common with cemeteries than our neighbors' - dark humor runs in the fam. okay maybe it's not funny haha but keeps us sane. life's short afer all right; and yet here we are tryin to figure out what comes after.
it ain't exactly an obsession but more like an unwelcome guest that pops up whenever you don’t want it. 'hey good morning! here's your daily dose of existential dread.' sometimes i try to imagine a life where we'd hit 100 years no doubt but with the way things have been going... idk man.
maybe someone watches over us (not religiously speakin just metaphorically) and keeps track of how close we're gettin'. i keep hearin' quotes everywhere sayin' 'life's what you make it,' or those cheesy movie lines like ‘to be or not to be’ - they don't prepare ya for real thoughts though.
