Idk i need someone to talk me out of this shit and give me advicee helpp.

So im bi and ace (happy pride monthhhh). Ive known the bi part since i was 9 but i kept hiding it and supressing it untill last year. It honestly was HORRIBLE since i hated myself for being bi, and i felt like a freak and a creep who shouldent be in girls spaces. I felt that i was invading others privacy, i hur7 myself because of it a LOT. I also study in a skl that has a LOT of homophobic students, so it made me terrified. I was also so confused and scared an i had no one to talk to.

After some time i started to get better but then almost every person i told didnt belive me. MY BROTHER HAD A PANIC ATTACK WHEN I TOLD HIM. A lot of people told me i was wrong cuz i looked straight (idk i dont think so lol). It honestly slowed down the process sm.

I always thought my parents were chill about queer stuff but when i started involving myself (like watching queer shows) they didnt like it. And then my mom told me she was an ally but belived most lgbt people were faking for attention and because straight people are a minority now. She mentioned bi girls specifically at the time so i was devastated. OFC.

But after a while when i did come out to my mom was so sweet and i was SO INSANELY happy. I started tearing up and everything and i was so relived. And then after a while (like im not kidding like a week) i started questioning if i was asexual after my friends genuanly said they wanna do it and it dosent makethem feel gross and i started researching about it and I related to A LOT of the things.

I went back to like the self hate thing and hurt1ng myself and i was terrified cuz my mom thinks asexuality is just depression. I was like forcing myself to read p0rn and stuff untill i got a fever to try and fix it.

But now that im very comfterble w being bi and kinda with being ace out of nowhere actual homophobic people. Like my grandma who is an ally said labels were made to break up families and my aunt asked if i thought it was normal. My classmates are being MORE homophobic, so is my skl. When i tried to come out to my dad he said hes a mosquito thats atracted to walruses and he should be respected. He was only nice to me after my brother outded me as bi. But still he acts kinda off and said im pushing it into people faces when i was joking about a kpop idol being my wife. And my mom didnt actually belive me about being bi and she thinks im tryinf to fit in with my friends. And i told my brother im ace (the only person in my house who actually belives im bi and respects it) and he said i was going crazy. its not like im in danger or anything, and ik other people go through way more then i am rn, but still its kinda hitting me for the first time how people can be and im so scared. Idk ig before this homophobes were just this joke thing people talk about online but their not fr idk. and i dont have any adults to talk to. Im still learning about being bi and ace and i dont have an expirienced people in my life who understand it and stuff. Im honestly kinda scared idkk

Could any queer person give me advice pls? Im kinda going insane rn

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