I want to leave, but I can’t
The story
I don’t know why, but everything I do is wrong for some reason. If i unintentionally do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, move wrong, I get yelled at.
Only a few days ago, I had a few things lying around. I didn’t have to time to clean yet, I’ve been busy with school and work. Ofcourse, I got hit. It doesn’t hurt but it’s scary. Everytime I hear them yelling, I’m scared that they’ll come up to me and hit me, even if I did nothing wrong. I just can’t help but freeze or even flinch when they raise their hand at me yet they still wonder why I refuse to hug them anymore, like to be near anyone or for others to be in my space.
I often prefer to be at school rather than at home. I dread going home, I like it at school. I’ve recently gotten a really good review on my behavior. They told me I was an outstanding student. I liked it. My parents don’t ever tell me that because im not good enough to them and i know it.
Sometimes, i wonder if the reason why i hate personal touch within my family is something that I struggle with mentally, but don’t know about yet. I’m just really conflicted. I honestly can’t wait for the day I turn eighteen. Only a year to go. I really want to move out as soon as I can.
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Points of view
I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through; it sounds incredibly tough. It’s unfortunate that your home environment feels so unsafe and stressful. Remember, what you're experiencing isn’t your fault, and you’re certainly not the problem. No child should have to feel scared or unworthy in their own home. It's great to hear that you feel valued and appreciated at school; it shows your resilience and strength. When I went through a similar situation, focusing on my studies and personal goals really helped me. The day you turn eighteen might feel far off, but it's just around the corner. Hang in there, and know that a brighter future is ahead. And hey, reaching for that sense of independence can be empowering 🚀
wow, that sounds really rough. no one should have to deal with that kind of crap at home. it's totally understandable that you'd rather be at school; at least there you’re recognized for how awesome you are and not constantly criticized for every little thing. you're not the problem here; the ones dishing out the yelling and hitting are. i had a similar situation and know how awful it feels; it really messes with your head, doesn't it? i can see why you'd be counting down the days until you can bounce out; feeling trapped in your own home is the worst. just keep pushing through; one day you'll be able to set your own rules and create a life that feels safe and fair. stay strong;
hey, i get it, things can be tough at home, but maybe it's not all bad 👍. sometimes parents have a lot going on, and it comes out wrong. doesn’t make it okay, but you’re clearly doing awesome at school. maybe try talking to them? 🤷♂️ communication can be hard, but it might help a bit. stay focused on your goals and keep pushing through. you got this.
really sorry to hear you're dealing with this; sounds pretty rough 😟. everyone deserves to feel safe and appreciated at home, not just at school. maybe things will change as you grow older and more independent. sometimes parents don't realize how their actions affect you, which sucks. i hope you can find some peace and focus on the positive things ahead 👍. you've shown resilience, and that will take you far. keep hanging in there.
i understand it feels overwhelming right now 😟, but remember that you're stronger than you think. challenges at home can be tough, yet maybe there's a silver lining; sometimes parents don't realize how their actions impact you. i had a similar experience, and over time, things did improve. it's encouraging to hear about your successes at school—keep focused on those positives. one day, you'll create your own environment that feels supportive and nurturing 😊. hang in there; brighter days are ahead.