I feel stuck and alone (vent)
The story
I’m put into a position where I have to choose who to live with. Either my grandma or my mom and it’s hard because I love them both and I hate that I’m forced here. My mom is going to move out because my grandma says that she brings trouble to the house and because my mom forgave her boyfriend after he hit her and took her car. So my grandma is making my mom move out so my mom and her boyfriend can live together instead of bringing him here to where I’m currently staying (which is in a home with my grandma and my mom). Today my grandma asked me “Your mother is looking for a place to live. I assume you’ll stay here with me, right?” <— (In Spanish) and all I did was look down. I didn’t give her a clear answer so she shrugged it off but it makes my chest ache, feeling like my family is falling apart and there’s nothing I can do. I don’t want to have to choose who to live with, I just want things to be happy.
And on top of all of that I just wish I could have a dad to go to. “Daddy issues” is so sexualized but it’s not my fault my own father isn’t there for me emotionally / mentally so now every time I see a dad and daughter having a healthy relationship it makes me cry and I get so jealous that it hurts. My mom doesn’t have her shit together, she’s always coddling her boyfriend and there’s no privacy with her or her boyfriend because of a camera I mentioned in one of my other vent stories. I just wish I had both of them, a mom to go to that respects my privacy and can just comfort me and a dad who can do the same. But I’m 15 and I’m already aware of the dangers online so I don’t trust easy anymore after having a couple online friends that talked behind my back to my boyfriend. My boyfriend also has his own things that he’s going through and I don’t want to burden him so I wish I could have my own online family. Like a little support system to escape reality.
I wish there was a way to factory reset my family, lol.
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Points of view
I’m just now realizing my other story is probably gone but I’m not sure why.. but that’s beside the point
Hey! We didn’t deleted recently a story, are you sure you used the same way to log in? Did you checked the recent stories to find it?
Wow, sounds like you're in a tough spot 😕. I get how it feels like your family is falling apart, but being angry at your mom might not help; life's messy and people screw up. Maybe give her a chance to sort herself out? Your grandma’s just trying to protect her household. She’s got her reasons. I remember feeling homeless in my own home when drama hit; sometimes you gotta do what’s best for you. A factory reset on family ain't possible, but you can start small, maybe find a counselor or online community that can be your support system. Just remember, “This too shall pass”; things do get better.
Man, that’s a rough sitch and I totally get why you’re feeling stuck. 💔 Families can be so messed up sometimes. Your mom really should have her act together; it's like, come on already!!! And the camera thing? Total invasion of privacy. Can’t believe your grandma put you in this position. Had a similar mess when I was 15, and it just seemed like nobody cared how it affected me. Why do parents have to be so complicated??! Just gotta hang in there, it sucks but things can change. Keep your head up, even when it feels like you’re drowning;
feeling like your family is falling apart is really tough, and it's understandable that you're in a conflicted spot 😢. the idea of choosing between your mom and grandma seems unfair, especially when you love them both. "family dynamics can be complex," goes the saying; everyone’s got baggage. your mom's decision to stick with her boyfriend may not seem wise, but it's her path to navigate. your grandma is trying to keep the home environment stable, and there's rationale behind that too. i've heard of situations where kids like yourself end up feeling like they're torn between alliances, and it's never simple. creating a supportive network, even online, can give you some solace, just stay cautious with virtual friendships. stay steady, even when the waves are choppy, and remember you're not alone in facing these family uncertainties.