so recently i went to this family gathering, right? you know how it is: the whole bunch large spread of food and lots of chit-chatting. i hadn't seen a lot of those faces in ages so it was sort of a big deal. anyway, everything's rolling along great, laughs all around and someone says 'let's get some photos'. okay cool no biggie or so i thought. next day. bam! i'm scrolling through social media and there they are those photos for literally everyone and their grandma to see. let me tell you seeing myself like that kinda felt like getting punched in the gut, lol.

i figured maybe i was just overthinking it at first but who am i kidding? people were dropping comments about how 'glowing' i looked and not gonna lie it made me feel good for a second. then outta nowhere boom back to self-doubt city population: me. why is it that even when people toss around compliments it still doesn't hit right? it's wild cos when you start spiraling down that rabbit hole things tend to get tricky fast.

might as well spill the tea here: my wardrobe ain't doing too hot these days either seriously it's like mismatched central up in my closet. so i'm guessing that's not helping the overall vibe i've got going on. now don't get it twisted i'm all about making do with what i've got (times are tough after all) but dang wouldn't mind switching things up once in a while instead of looking like something straight outta 'what not to wear'.

and yeah sure we're supposed to love ourselves and embrace our uniqueness etc etc but sometimes that's easier said than done ya feel me? every attempt at being chill about the sitch just seems to backfire into more insecurities. ugh it's exhausting honestly when folks hype you up yet here i am still nitpicking at every single thing going on looks-wise... 😒

maybe one day i'll wake up actually feeling fab in my own skin who knows till then guess i'll keep dodging mirrors wherever possible no shame in my game!

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