I live in a broken family

My family was not like this, even if we weren’t perfect we all still loved each other and was somewhat okay. A few months ago my father had an issue with his job and left it, thus financial problems started. My sibling who is abroad does their best to support us. Our relatives from both paternal and maternal side cut contact with us and started talking behind our backs because we do not have the financial stability anymore, not even our grandparents talk to us or ask about us, even though we have never asked for money from them and never would have asked for it. But nobody even calls or texts us, instead they sometimes come over to spite us and leave us out of important familial information. This obviously broke my siblings and my heart but my parents are devastated because of this.

Gradually my parents started fighting more too, always creating this gloomy atmosphere at my house. My parents started blaming themselves at first for not being able to do the same for me as they did for my elder sibling then they started to blame me for not being a good enough student even though I’m working 24/7 to maintain a scholarship and earn money. Then my dad had to cheat. Well some might say it was not direct cheating but we caught him on a video call with another lady and saw their texts. My younger sibling hates his gut now, we had to adjust, cause what can we do, what else can be done. My parents aren’t in love anymore, not like before, I’m pretty sure if we did not exist they would divorce, at least that is what they tell me all the time.

90% of the time I feel dissociated, I don’t know if I’m supposed to thank “god” for keeping me alive or hate god for making us go through this. I hate living here now, everyone is always fighting, everyone is always depressed, it feels like even staying at my stupid university will be better than staying here.

I just want everything to end.

Stories in the same category