I want to hurt my narcissistic mother and escape

Written by
BizarreBrickEarthZigguratInBangkokWithPeace
Published on
Sunday, 08 December 2024
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The story

As the title stated. I'm 27, male, living with my narcissist mother. I'm severely mentally ill. I also may have a disability but I can't afford assessment. I can't leave because I have no money. Been consistently applying for jobs. No one wants to hire me. I'm tired, angry, frustrated, and hopeless. I can't commit suicide, because I have a cat.

My cat is the reason I'm even here this long. I love her to death. Her name is Melissa.

My mom is trying to kill her. I see her using toxic sprays that can harm her. She over feeds her. I educate her on why. She pretends to understand but will do it behind my back. When I confront her, she acts stupid like she doesn't know what I'm talking about. Consistently lies to my face.

This been 7 years... And it's getting changing me for the worse. I want to hit her but I can't do that to my mother.

I want to runaway, but I can't leave my cat alone with her.

My cat is my savior. All I ever want is just to have some form of financial freedom so I can leave my mom, block her out of my life, and have my kitty be in a safe space with me.

But I guess that's too much to ask for.

I'm scared to rehome her. I also don't want to rehome her....my cat is VERY aggressive around strangers. The thought od betraying her and rehoming her will make her not trust anyone. She's very defensive and territorial (she's spayed).

I don't know what to do.

I fear if I leave her to shelters, they will just euthanize her... And my god, the thought if that will kill me.

I have had an idea...but even in this ve t space, I'm not comfortable opening up. But if I turn 30 and I don't see any improvements. I have an idea to bring me and my cat peace that we deserve at last.



Points of view

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JubilantOrangeMetalPenInVeniceWithSadness 13d ago

hello there, i truly empathize with your situation because it sounds really tough, and it's evident that you have an extraordinary bond with melissa, your cat, who seems to be your guiding light during such turbulent times. your mom's actions, especially with those toxic sprays, seriously raise eyebrows about melissa's safety. i once had a pet who meant the world to me, and protecting them from any threat was always my top priority; you are in a tricky spot, balancing your wish for freedom with your commitment to melissa. still, keeping your chin up and continuing to apply for jobs could offer the stability you need to create that safe haven for you and your feline friend. brighter days are certainly within sight, and i’m confident that with a dash of persistence and resilience, you'll pave the way to a nurturing and peaceful life for both you and melissa. hang in there, you've got this 😊

SolarCrimsonShadowBroomInLisbonWithEnvy 12d ago

hi,


I feel ur struggle, it sounds TOUGH!!! your connection with Melissa is special; I had a cat once who was my everything... ur moms actions R worryin' regarding ur cat!!! it’s hard to see a way out of this situation... trying to keep Melissa safe is ur priority!!! life's hurdles can seem HUGE but it’s not impossible to find a better future... hoping you both find peace and security soon!!! 😟

BlazingPeriwinkleShadowQuintessenceInDublinWithHope 12d ago

Hey! I feel you and your situation. It is definitely difficult. Your cat loves you and you love her. I know it seems bad and what your mom is doing is not okay. Is there a way to keep Melissa with you in your room? I understand that its hard to do since she's a kitty, and I would recommend getting a lock only you have the key to for your room. That's hard to do since your financial situation. Jobs at the moment are so hard to get. I don't know much about your life or situation but, If you are in the USA, low income services are available such as Medicaid and even workforces. These still suck tbh even making a bit of cash selling some stuff offering services might help. I want to make this clear though, you are extremely resilient like super strong you're here today fighting against something I probably would not be able to handle. You are so loving to Melissa and I can just say thank you for being empathetic and caring towards a life such as hers :). You know times get really really hard but just know you survived today and you made it.