My mother is weird
The story
My mother has many friends. She has many activities. But she never seems to care about her children. I live 30 minutes away but she never comes to my house. I always go to her. She always has people around. But I never see her do anything for her children. It is very weird. We have always helped her. If one of her children is sick she does not care. My brother had a heart attack. My mother sends a message. But that is all. She can do anything, she has no handicap. If you come to her house she never ask if you want coffee or water. She just keeps on gardening or playing games. She makes her own lunch. Often I buy and prepare food for her. With other people she is very sociaal and gives food. A cold woman.
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Points of view
I get where you're coming from; it's tough when a parent seems distant. Like, my dad used to be super busy with his friends and hobbies too. We'd have family gatherings, and he'd sometimes forget I was even there. Funny thing is, now that I've got my own life happening, I kind of see why he needed his space back then. It still stings a bit but realizing it made me focus more on the moments we do connect instead of what's missing all the time.
Yes. You have to make yourself happy and stop asking questions. Because she is who she is. But lately it makes me upset. It irritates me people think she is so social etc. Let it go… Thank you for your healthy advise.
Sometimes parents have their own worlds that seem to revolve around everything but us; it's like they live in a parallel universe. My aunt was always the life of the party and immensely involved with her friends, yet when it came to family matters, she'd zone out completely. Once I realized she operated differently in those spaces, it helped me adjust my expectations a bit. Still didn't make it super easy; navigating these relationships can be confusing for sure!
Wow, sounds like your mom's got her priorities all jacked up. It's mind-boggling how she can pull off being super social with friends but turn into a desert when it comes to family. Maybe she's just rockin’ that self-centered lifestyle because it's easier to handle, who knows? Heck, I'd be ticked too if I traveled all the way and wasn’t even offered a glass of water... That's pretty low-key messed up, considering you’re making the effort. Honestly, seems like she'd need a wake-up call or something to realize what she's missin' out on.
man, that's rough. sounds like your mom's got her priorities all twisted. when family doesn't show up for you, especially in tough times, it really hits hard; but maybe try flipping the script and pull back a bit too. see if she notices the change or reaches out. sometimes people need a jolt to realize what they're missing. if not, focus on those who do step up for you!
Ever thought about just calling her out on it?