I won’t do it, but I think about it everyday.
The story
Imagine one day you wake up and your friend doesn’t… It’s unpredictable, is it not? Just the other day, you two are hanging out, joking around, laughing ‘till your stomach hurts. Everything looks fine from the surface, but maybe deep down they aren’t.
I think about it everyday, but I won’t do it.
Imagine one day your family starts noticing the fact that you haven’t gotten up yet. When they do check on you, it’ll be too late. Your mother would find your room all cleaned up, letters neatly arranged on your bed. She’d find her daughter pale and cold…
I think about it everyday, but I won’t do it.
Your friends would be broken by the news. Maybe you think that they don’t really care. Nobody will ever know the truth, but there are people who are actually sad to see you go. They’d think back to the day before… How you’ve hung out with them, laughed with them all day, treated them to a meal.
I think about it everyday, but I won’t do it.
Nobody saw it as goodbye. After all, the happiest person isn’t someone to typically worry about, no?
I think about it everyday, but I won’t do it.
I often hold myself back. I’m not brave enough to do it, but I’m also not strong enough to endure it all. I may not do anything about it, but it’s all in my head everyday.
I think about it everyday, but I won’t do it.
You’re not alone.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I get where you're coming from, and as intense as those feelings are, there's this irrational belief that not acting is a sign of weakness. But let me flip the script for a second: maybe holding back isn't about lacking courage, maybe it's an act of immense strength. Sometimes it's like wearing an invisible armor; no one realizes what you’re carrying every day. People who seem happy on the outside often feel alone in their struggles (it's frustrating being unseen). It's like living in two worlds at once. But dude... reaching out, even just a little, can change so much more than you know.
your story really got me thinking. there's this common narrative that the happiest people are hiding the most pain, and while that's often true, i can't help but wonder if we've started to assume too much about each other. we project our own ideas of happiness or sadness onto others and it creates this endless loop of misunderstanding; i once had a friend who seemed perfectly content until they shared their struggles with me out of the blue, which left me questioning how well i actually knew them. so maybe what's most important is to communicate openly without assumptions.
man, this hits hard. it's wild how we never know what's going on in someone's head. you think you know someone, and boom, something like this pops up. honestly, it sucks that the world’s so focused on appearances that we miss the real issues lurking underneath. one time a buddy of mine was all smiles just before he confided some heavy stuff; it shook me up! i guess we're all playing parts sometimes. but for real... staying alive despite those thoughts? that's freaking brave. keep doing what you're doing because waking up every day and facing life is no small feat. :)
Is it just me, or does this kinda feel like it’s missing something?
Hey, your post really hit me. Reminds me of my buddy Tom from college. He was always the life of the party but one time he went MIA for weeks; when we finally caught up, he admitted he’d been feeling that way for a long time. It took everything in him to talk about it. What I learned is that sometimes just showing up and being there can make a difference... Like, honestly, you might not know how much you're impacting someone by just staying around. Just saying, maybe there's more strength in hanging on than we think.
it's interesting how we often assume that those who are struggling should appear miserable all the time, but life isn't that black and white, is it?
Not to sound harsh, but constantly fixating on those thoughts isn't healthy. I mean, putting it out there over and over seems like it's holding you in place instead of helping you move forward. Sure, life can be unpredictable and shitty at times, but that's not an excuse to refuse taking steps towards change or accepting help. Dwelling without action is basically just stagnation on repeat. Maybe try focusing on tangible ways to dig yourself out rather than replaying the same narrative in your head... talking with someone who can actually help might be a good start.
dude, it's crazy how much people hide behind smiles and jokes. reminds me of this one time my coworker was always the office clown, but then we found out he’d been going through a nasty divorce for months. no one had a clue. makes you wonder how many folks around us are just pretending to be okay. hanging on might feel impossible sometimes, but seriously, being here is making it through tough stuff every day whether anyone sees it or not. keep on keeping on... you're doing more than you realize by just sticking it out another day.
wow, this really makes you think about how unpredictable life is, huh? i wonder what it would be like if we just talked more openly about what's going on in our heads without fearing judgment. honestly, it feels like society kinda trains us to keep up this facade that everything’s okay even when it's not. a close friend of mine once told me she was struggling after an entire semester of acting like nothing was wrong... blew my mind because i'd never have guessed. so yeah, maybe having real conversations could actually help us feel less alone and misunderstood???