it's my mother
The story
why do I feel the urge to make someone happy, even someone who is not affectionate towards me, someone who never apologizes, someone who never seems interested in me, in what I do since they don´t ask about me but more about other people, even if I let hints (and even say directly) that I don't want to answer things about other people but just me, or just want to them know who I am. Maybe this grew more since I started watching people act more affectionate toward each other on some TV series or movies, like their interactions seem to be like that, they ask about you, they say nice things to each other even if they are angry, they seem to apologize if necessary, so maybe I am just comparing myself too much on those fake TV people??
Even if I tell them directly to be more affectionate and try not to insult me every day, I try to be better but they always stir something in me that makes me want to punch things. Why don't they change after my whole life trying to make them understand my thoughts? And why do I continue to seek their love? Nothing I ever do seems to be enough for them even if I do something that they told me to do, they still tell me more things to do, not even a thanks or nice words, maybe that person is afraid or doesn't really care about me, but they say they do "care" saying those things so I can "love myself" since they seem to think love words are not the path, they seem to think demmanding things for me is the right choice. It really makes me mad since I feel like they only call me these things (insults and complaints) to make me "reflect" on how ugly and disgusting I am.
I thought it also has to be connected to myself being someone not individualistic, I always seek for people. I don't like being alone, and I don't start things by myself. I know I need to change and not rely on people but I just can't, I'm so afraid of doing so.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
it's fascinating, isn't it? how we get drawn to people who seem emotionally unavailable or just plain dismissive. there's a term for this; "intermittent reinforcement," like in those psychology studies with rats (yeah sorry, I don't compare you to a rat of course...)—sometimes being rewarded keeps you hooked more than constant rewards. 🤔 but damn, it's toxic as hell when applied to relationships; they throw out a crumb of affection and suddenly you're back on the hook. at the end of the day, real life ain't a rom-com where everyone suddenly becomes self-aware and starts apologizing mid-fight; that's fiction designed to keep us entertained. asking for basic decency isn't too much, yet people act like it's a goddamn chore. maybe consider focusing on what makes *you* happy outside these interactions—that's not about being individualistic but rather centered on your own emotional well-being.👊
it's tough when life feels like it's mirroring these unrealistic TV narratives, isn't it? honestly, those fictional worlds set up such high expectations for human interaction that can leave us feeling let down. 😔 "the more you explain yourself to people who refuse to understand, the more you waste your time," as a wise person once said; sometimes people just have their own communication blocks and refuse to change because they see no reason to. not all relationships are reciprocal or fair—and that's what makes them exhausting. finding peace in solitude might sound daunting initially, but you'll be surprised at how empowering it can become once you detach from external validation and discover self-contentment; maybe try starting small by enjoying activities alone that you previously did with others. 🌱 focusing on what truly fulfills you emotionally could gradually build your confidence in nurturing healthier connections.
man, I totally get where you're coming from, feeling like you're stuck in this loop of wanting approval and affection from someone who just won't give it?
Look, here's the thing: you're putting all your energy into someone who clearly doesn't reciprocate; it's like pissing in the wind. They seem to have mastered the art of gaslighting—making you think their lack of affection is somehow your fault; ain't that some psychological warfare? It's tragic but people don't change just because you want them to. The TV crap is pure fiction designed to manipulate viewers' emotions, and yeah, that's why they call it "acting." Maybe try directing that need for connection toward friendships or activities where mutual respect actually exists; you've got nothing to lose but your sanity here 😊
man, it’s like you’re living in a soap opera that forgot how to be entertaining, cuz dealing with people who are emotionally stunted as hell is draining af and the way they treat you ain't right, honestly feels like you're trapped in a cycle of trying to fix something that's broken beyond repair while just bending over backwards for folks who wouldn't even meet you halfway; sounds harsh, but sometimes cutting ties