My miserable family

Wow, that’s quite a heavy story. Reminds me of my own tough times growing up in a house that just didn’t feel like home. It’s like the walls themselves just hold onto all the sadness and frustration. When you’re in an environment where it feels like all your energy is being drained, it’s totally understandable to feel low about everything—especially knowing the people around you are supposed to be your support system, but sometimes they just become part of the problem.

Can definitely relate to the feeling of longing for a father figure—my dad was there but wasn’t exactly present, and sometimes that absence hits harder. I think it’s really important to find outlets, like art or music, that can help you express yourself without fear. It’s OK to cry. I’ve been there too.

I hope you know there are people out there who get it, and who are rooting for you—even from afar.

in reviewing your narrative, it is apparent that the environment you describe is extremely dysfunctional and lacking supportive dynamics. it indeed appears as though you and your mother's psychological and emotional well-being are being compromised. experiencing depression and having suicidal thoughts indicate a severe mental health crisis; a home should be a refuge, not a source of distress and constant melancholia. frankly, it is troubling to hear about your lack of motivation for basic self-care and academic pursuits, which are essential daily activities. while I generally align with your sentiments, it is crucial to challenge your perspective slightly. waiting for external changes without adjusting your internal responses will likely perpetuate this cycle of unhappiness. finding or creating opportunities for new relationships or mentorships could potentially provide the paternal guidance you mentioned needs to exist. this all said, dismissing your feelings entirely would be erroneous; the problem is significant, and taking steps toward professional support might be indispensable...

Honestly, I think you're being a bit too hard on your family dynamics and the environment you're in. Sure, the situation might not be ideal, but sometimes it's about how we perceive and cope with adversity rather than just the circumstances at hand.

Claiming it's the most miserable place might be more about your perception and less about objective reality. Realizing that blaming external factors exclusively can be a cognitive distortion; families often have complexities and nuances that require understanding rather than quick judgment.

As they say, every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe exploring the interpersonal relationships in greater depth might offer unexpected support or resolutions. Sometimes, when we view challenges from a different perspective, the narrative starts to change altogether.

Perhaps reevaluating could be beneficial—after all, not everything is black and white, and there might be shades of gray worth exploring. 🏠