i'm kinda at my wit's end. the pressure from my family is absolutely baffling at this point, and honestly, it feels like i'm being suffocated by expectations. it's all about following this career path that i literally could not care less about. days go by with me just smiling through gritted teeth, while inside, i'm desperately questioning if there's more to life than this endless treadmill of stress and anxiety.

one of my closest friends recently came forward and offered to help me get away for a while; it's tempting, i'll admit. part of me wants to pack up right now and run!!! run so fast the wind burns my face; but then again, i question if that's just a temporary fix. what happens after you run? do you come back to the same cycle all over again?

it's one thing to face pressure from society or strangers who throw opinions your way without knowing anything about you, but when it's from the people you love... wow, that hurts on a whole different level. they mean well (maybe), pushing that whole 'you'll thank us later' narrative but really? will i? will i thank them while i'm bending over backwards trying to fit into a mold i don't belong in?

everything's got this intense weight that makes even the simplest tasks feel like herculean efforts. i've considered what it'd be like to just have some peace and quiet for once...no noise pollution from voices telling me what i should be doing with my own life.

i know running away isn't some magic solution that'll fix what's inherently wrong with this picture and yet... it lingers in my mind as an oasis of simplicity amidst everything else.

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