Signs your family doesn't care about you
The story
I hope this doesnt sound too messy because my writing is honestly terrible, but I wanted to share this little story in case anyone reading ever wondered about the signs your family doesnt care about you, or at least seems like they dont. Im 17 and a girl, and Ive kinda grown up watching my parents circle around my brothers like planets around a sun, while Im some tiny moon they forget is even there. They go to every football match my brothers play, even when its freezing outside or when the team always loses. They cheer so loud I swear the field shakes. When one of them gets an A on a test, my mom tells the whole family group chat and my dad claps him on the shoulder like he just won a Nobel Prize. When I get good grades, they say OK and go back to whatever they were doing. I dont think theyre trying to be mean, they just forget me, like that quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower where it says we accept the love we think we deserve, and sometimes I wonder if I just accepted this whole situation without thinking too much. And maybe thats why Im telling this politely, because staying polite feels like the only way I stay steady;
Anyway I keep trying to stay objective about it, because I know teenagers can exagerate things and I dont want to sound like Im throwing a fit. Its just facts. They barely talk to me unless they need me to do a chore. They never ask me about my intersts, like school clubs or the small art projects I do. I once tried to show my mom a drawing I worked on for two weeks, and she said Mhmm while scrolling on her phone. If one of my brothers had drawn literally anything, even a stick figure, it would of gotten a photo framed in the living room. Still I keep telling myself maybe they dont realize how it feels from my side. Maybe they grew up in familys where girls stayed quiet or maybe they think Im independant and dont need them. I stay polite because whats the point of fighting. Its better to observe everything like Im some researcher taking notes on a family I dont totally belong in. Detatchment feels safer. But even with that detatchment Im hopeful. I think one day someone will care to ask about my life the same way they ask my brothers.
The weird thing is how normal it all feels now, even tho I know deep down it shouldnt. Sometimes I sit in my room and wander, Would anyone notice if I just stopped trying. Not in a dramatic way just a logical question. And I bet you if someone reading this has felt like the shadow sibling youv wondered it too. I remember one time my English teacher complimented an essay I wrote telling me I had clear potential and my first instinct was to laugh because no one at home has ever used the word potential about me. I quoted her in my journal because it felt so strnage yet so nice. Im not saying my parents are villians or anything like that. Theyre polite people themselfs and I know they love us in their own way. They just show it unevenly like someone pouring water into two cups and missing the third. And thats okay. Cups can be refilled someday by someone else or maybe by ourselves. Im trying to beleive that honestly.
So I guess all this is just me asking gently have you ever felt invisible in your own house. And if yes how did you figure out that it wasnt your fault. I try to stay hopeful because Ive read so many storys yes I know sounds cheesy where people grow up and finally meet friends or mentors or partners who see them and cheer for them the way their family never did. Maybe that will be me too. I want to keep a positive tone because life isnt over at 17 not even close and maybe this whole weird upbringing will make me appreciate real attention when it finally comes. Im staying polite staying patient and staying open to the idea that things can still change. And if they dont at least Ill know I tried to understand it instead of letting it crush me. Maybe thats the real sign that I care about myself even if my family sometimes forgets to show that they do.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
dang, reading your story brought back some memories. it's tough feeling like the odd one out in your own family; kinda makes you wonder if you're missing something, right? but honestly, it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders thinking about this stuff at 17. keep hanging onto that hope and positivity, 'cause one day you'll find your people who see you for the amazing person you are. sometimes friends become more of a real family than you're born into!
I can't help but think about how common it is for parents to unconsciously play favorites.... It's like they're stuck in a feedback loop and don't even realize the impact of their actions! This imbalance can be so detrimental, almost like living under constant cloud cover while others bask in sunlight.
You’ve hit on an important point though; the idea of potential and being seen by people outside your family (like teachers, friends, or mentors) can offer a kind of validation that patches up those emotional potholes left by indifferent parenting. It’s not ideal, but sometimes finding a tribe outside your family can bring that balance and recognition you've been missing at home.
feeling overlooked in your own family dynamics seems pretty frustrating, and while i don't want to downplay your experience, it's important to remember that perception can often be skewed by emotional filters. it’s not always about being the shadow sibling but more about raising awareness among family members. maybe considering a direct conversation with your parents could be beneficial, instead of assuming their behavior comes from intent or neglect. communication might feel awkward initially, but it can shed light on unnoticed behaviors. if nothing changes, don’t let it define your self-worth; focus on creating relationships outside of home that truly appreciate your talents and achievements.
wow, your story really hits home. sounds like you're living that classic middle child/overlooked sibling trope, but it's seriously impressive how self-aware you are about all this at 17 🤯 it kinda sucks they're all wrapped up in your brothers' lives and missing out on your awesomeness. honestly? keep doing you!! your artistic talents and insane potential are gonna shine through and catch the right people's attention soon enough; just remember that it's not your fault, and who knows, maybe they'll realize what they're missing one day ✨
Man, your story really hits home. It's astonishing how family dynamics can sometimes shape our self-worth; makes you really reflect on things. I totally get the feeling of being the overlooked sibling: feels like you're living in the shadow, huh??
it’s commendable how you're analyzing this situation so logically rather than just reacting emotionally. ever considered having a straightforward conversation with them about how you feel? it's not always easy but sometimes parents don't realize the impact of their actions until you spell it out for them; it's all about creating awareness. hang in there and remember, your potential is evident to those who matter, like that english teacher: your time to shine will come! 🌟
Hey, I get it, feeling sidelined really sucks! But don't you think you're maybe being a bit harsh on your parents??? 🤔 Sometimes they're just oblivious and caught up in their own world. It’s great that you're aware of this dynamic so young – that's wisdom right there!!! Have you tried talking to them about how you feel or exploring new activities where people will value your voice?? Anyway, you've got potential like your teacher said; don’t let anyone make you doubt that. 😉
i get where you're coming from, but it sounds like you might be interpreting the situation too harshly. sure, your parents' attention seems lopsided, but sometimes people just fall into patterns without realizing it. what you're feeling is valid; it’s like you've been cast as an understudy in your own life narrative while others take center stage. however, it's kind of inspiring that you're still holding onto hope and considering how to fill your own cup with love and validation from other places. maybe this whole experience will make you stronger and more resilient than you realize. things can definitely change; just keep being true to yourself and eventually the right people will come along who recognize your worth ✨
i don't understand parents like that!!! :(
Hey, I totally get where you're coming from; feeling like a shadow sibling is really tough, and it seems super isolating. 😞 It's like you're living in your own world parallel to theirs. I've been there too! Growing up, I was always the "responsible" one while my siblings were showered with attention for every little thing they did. It's frustrating when your efforts go unnoticed, but don't let that dull your shine. Keep nurturing your passions because those are what define you, not the lack of recognition from others. Trust me: people who truly see and value you will come into your life, sometimes when you least expect it! Stay strong and keep being awesome!
i feel you, it can be so rough feeling like you’re just in the background of your own life while everyone else gets a standing ovation.
yo, honestly, your story's kinda relatable but not entirely; i mean yeah your folks might be giving more attention to your brothers but maybe they're just super into sports and don't get art the way you do. some parents scoop all their support into one area thinking it covers everything, which is real dumb tbh. still, it's sick how you're keeping your head up and holding onto hope; that's what really matters in the end – finding people who see you as more than some 'extra moon' or whatever 🌓
i totally feel you on the whole being in the background thing. it can be tough when the spotlight seems to skip right over you, especially with siblings soaking it all up. but have you thought about how this might make you more independent and self-reliant? like, maybe not having that constant validation from your family is pushing you to find worth from within and from other sources. sounds like you're already thinking ahead by hoping for future connections that value you. keep nurturing those interests of yours, 'cause they sound super cool, and trust me, someone outside will appreciate them if your family doesn't yet! 🌟
wow, i'm sorry but i gotta be honest; it sounds like you're really letting yourself get sucked into a narrative where you're always the underdog 😕