Soooo

Is it wrong?

Especially if it’s not the first?

So I’ve been hearing my spouses iPad notifications go off while sleeping and it’s like a nonstop kind of ding ding ding ding 🛎️ . So I wake up look 👀 and see texts going back and forth with multiple ppl (different texts) and then that’s when I notice a females name….. so for some reason I felt the need to check it…. I do and I notice it’s someone who he works with and I see that there’s some inappropriate messages——-my heart drops——-my breathing tends to 😮‍💨 and my mind is going wild it’s telling me to check his other messages and so I do and I see another female name….so I click on it and I see some stuff and I decide to go check if he has any deleted messages and lo and behold yes y’all he does——-the horns comes out😒👿 the hurt starts building and im thinking like but why what was the reason…

And guess what he’s on his way home sooo now I’m fuming and I’m hurt. My heart is telling me to let it go, don’t let him know I know but my mind is telling me to confront him to get it off my shoulders because it’s heavy yall. Boom I hear him coming in the door …..he says hi babe I say hi I have his iPad idk if he noticed it but I walk to the bathroom with it….. he changes whatnot and lays down to get some rest and I’m fuming with hurt 😔 I’m trying to hold it all in but I can’t! I walk into the bedroom he’s knocked out on the bed and I slap him in his face 😱 the look on his face was like wtf 😣 like he was lost for a moment. I’m so mad I started going at him, yelling, asking wtf is this!? And all sorts is going on. Eventually he sits up wacks his iPad kind of wacks my stomach and starts yelling idk and wtf and all sorts but I was so hurt I started texting and calling these women. And next you know it my bbys comes out and tells me mommy daddy’s leaving he said he’ll be back later.

Y’all I was so mad because this ain’t the first but I felt like I said what I felt and I felt a little peace like I was over it. Over the Hurt, over the lies and the dishonesty and disrespect because not once have I ever done what he’s done to me (13 years).

So boom he leaves…. I’m taking care the kids and there all sick mind you.

We start to texting each other and I’m going at it and then I call and I’m trying to get my point across and he’s not hearing it and giving all kinds of excuses…..then wham he starts getting angry and then starts putting blame on me.

I’m so hurt yall 😭

Why do they do that?

They know it’s wrong or they know you don’t like it and said they wouldn’t again but here we are round 2 like wtf.

Why give up 13 years for some kind of form of lust or some kind of excitement?

What do you get out of it?

Like you asked and did y’all? Or she said this so did you or do you?

And why is it when we say what if we do it to them they wouldn’t like it….then he’ll say I wouldn’t care….

Like wtf

Why hurt the person you say you love?

Why be with me so long just to do this?

And I already have low self esteem/self confidence

So it’s like wtf😔

I mean I could see if I’ve been unfaithful then yeah go right ahead but I’ve never not once.

Ugh 😑 😣 I hate this feeling

Then our bbys ends up asking when’s daddy coming home or starts to cry and ugh I know the feeling because inside I’m doing the same thing like hello I’m here 👋

I know I’ve changed but he’s changed also…. And even with marriage it makes me wonder and doubt if I should because what will happen if I do.

Why hurt a good woman?

Why do something to someone who treats you like a king and would do anything for like wtf.

Supposedly they never did anything it’s just texts and supposedly jokes.

But I’m not with the jokes

Am I wrong? Is he wrong?

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