sometimes, i sit and think, why do i not remember my childhood? i'm 31 years old now and it's like a blank space before the age of ten. it's not that i've forgotten individual memories here and there; there's just nothing there at all!!! it's almost like those first formative years have vanished into thin air and i'm left wondering about who i was during that time.

it's weird because when people talk about their early memories or childhood stories, i just nod along as if i remember mine too. but deep down, it makes me feel kinda disconnected from others. everyone has these nostalgic tales to tell from their youth, yet i'm here drawing a complete blank on my own experiences. i've read about how some folks suppress memories due to trauma or stress but nothing significant pops out in my mind.

my parents never mentioned anything alarming that happened back then so could it be something else entirely? is it normal for someone to have wiped out the entire memory of a chunk of their life? it's hard not to wonder what kind of influence those missing years might have had on who i am today......am i overthinking this or is it something worth digging into?

maybe there's a scientific explanation for memory loss like mine (i came across articles mentioning things like 'childhood amnesia' but who can say for sure). ultimately though "Growing up means losing some illusions in order to acquire others." so while this whole thing keeps bugging me from time to time; i'll just keep searching for answers hoping one day something triggers those lost memories back.

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