A boss betrayed, and rightly so.
The story
I betrayed my boss because he betrayed me. He looked after his own image, not mine. I was going to be relegated to the office of an outcast, someone no one could do anything about, and I couldn't allow that. The resulting repercussions were going to be overwhelming, given how much I was being sidelined, and that's what prompted me to take action. It all started when a girl blocked me, something she hadn't done with the rest of the group, effectively excluding me and making me feel completely excluded, as if I weren't part of her life, as if I were different from everyone else, and that infuriated me. I told my boss, but he did nothing about it, and I had to intervene because I knew she would be able to tell others about it and cause further repercussions. I told other authorities, but they did absolutely nothing; in fact, they tried to stay as far away as possible.
I was very worried about the social repercussions, especially the fact that the girl might take advantage of the situation to pull tricks in her pursuit of a modicum of equality. My boss and his secretary made it seem like I had to be the strong one, that I shouldn't let her get away with it, leaving me completely helpless to the point where they pressured me into seeing a psychiatrist, accusing me of being weak and therefore potentially facing social repercussions. The issue was clear: I had to take action and be there for her. She could do whatever she wanted, however she pleased, but no one was going to do anything. Well, having said that, I understand that something was being done, and it was to make her look bad, to the point of trying to get her fired as soon as the first incident occurred. However, that wasn't the real plan, because it all started when I began talking to her, of course, after she had already started talking to me in person. My relationship with her was virtual. I couldn't just leave her helpless, nor could I turn a blind eye, especially since the girl and I were discussing the possibility of forming a group. In this sense, my boss tried to impose his will, using orders as a defense for me in any situation and running away, trying to avoid saying anything, hoping that what happened between the girl and me wouldn't come to light after the conflict.
He tried every possible way to obstruct us, to make her look bad, crazy, even to instruct me in violence, also because after the conflict and under the resulting blockade, she would be at a complete disadvantage, especially since she doesn't like to back down from her decisions, and even more so when it involves something that might make others doubt her. However, I didn't allow it. I played the victim, to completely undermine him, to make him look out of place. The boss demanded a deal with her to avoid causing them more problems, when it was my problem. He made threats about toys, which I silenced with real threats. He wanted to prevent me from associating with her at all costs, because if I did, it would reveal a situation of rejection within his group. The doubt about whether it existed would be taken as certainty, something that went against my principles. He was acting like a hero at first, but of course, there had to be some benefit to it. Quite rightly, they told me I was exaggerating, and I was, but that was living in my own world, something they could never penetrate.
My boss was a complete scoundrel. When I achieved my goal, they tried everything to undermine my image, to suggest that I was taking advantage of the situation, that I was being narcissistic, for having denounced him, for having exposed his efforts to keep me the way he wanted me, and also for hurting the girl. However, this didn't go unpunished for him at all. First, there was the matter with the authorities, the complaint, and then there was another complaint, this time made public, more than justifying what I had told the authorities. They definitely made things worse for themselves.
There was a guy yesterday who caught my attention. He kept making comments that were trying to influence my way of doing things, to make me believe things, but in the end, he turned out to be like some kind of inner circle, with sacred secrets that he didn't want to be revealed. I wasn't going to be around someone like that. With every comment he made, I felt trapped, taking advantage of the friendly image we were projecting in public, and it was something I didn't like. I was playing along, always trying to distance myself, but he just kept getting more and more entrenched and wouldn't budge. More or less, that was my boss's way of doing things, at all costs. With me, of course, he operated based on his own principles. For example, we were talking about being out on the street, sharing intimate things. He was, and still is, an excellent person, but I just don't like to keep that kind of intimacy with others.
It resulted in a vague exchange of information, and it's not the kind of conversation I want to have, at least not occasionally. It was clear the guy had the best intentions and that his relationship wouldn't go any further. However, the problem is that in the long run, I was going to hold onto things that would cloud the relationship because I didn't agree with his methods; they're not my style. Surely, for someone else, it might be the same. And I understand him; being selective based on well-verified evidence is something one appreciates, and he was consistent throughout.
That wasn't the case with my boss, who acted based on nothing, on his own imagination, on his own world with me, trying to completely overstep the bounds of the context, the tone of the conversation, trying to go too far when there wasn't that friendly tone, when the context wasn't appropriate for them. He was completely out of place in the office; he was, and is, someone just trying to survive there. No matter how much the top boss talks about attending, about doing something about it, if she doesn't say so herself, I don't believe my boss at all. He uses anything and everything, emotional manipulation, to get things done; it's not prudent. This guy, well, he was reciprocal, it was hard for him, but he was. I confess he's not the type of person to force things, to always be in that state of anxiety, because it also depends on circumstances. So, getting close to him results in a comfort zone that will be hard to maintain at all costs. I'm definitely grateful to have met him and to have seen him from the start, with that mindset, and somehow I felt we were heading towards a point of convergence, but it's not the right time yet, and I don't know why. I have the feeling that he's capable of seeing it, which isn't the case with my boss, from whom I have no expectations, no reflections whatsoever. Instead, he seeks to persevere, moving in his own direction to then surprise you, which he calls convincing you. He's a manipulative person who tries to shift blame for things that aren't the proper way to act with others in an office, for God's sake. That kind of acting like you're not in the office is something I can't stand. This young man, on the other hand, was aware that he was out in the field, despite our differing, even opposing, principles. He was aware of the context in which he operated, and he wasn't abusive. He earned trust through sheer determination. My boss, however, didn't operate accordingly. In fact, I can feel that I wasn't obligated to be around this young man. I'd even say that he's already looking forward to getting rid of this whole mess with people. Like me, he wants to achieve something organized, but definitely not imposed, because things will eventually explode, and pretending otherwise is just wishful thinking—something my boss, for God's sake, definitely operates on.
That young man certainly has leadership qualities and is aware that he's not a big deal. He displays a pleasant caution, taking things slowly and allowing others to speak. However, my boss is completely out of control. I definitely found myself in the opposite situation to my boss.
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Points of view
man, i feel your frustration with bosses who think they own the place just ‘cause they’ve got a fancy title. it's wild how they always twist things to make it seem like you're the one causing trouble when they're acting shady themselves. sounds like this guy is all about covering his own butt and not giving a damn about anyone else, especially employees actually trying to do their jobs without drama. 😒 dude's definitely lost touch if he thinks manipulation and throwing blame around is gonna fly in any decent workplace. i've been there too where you gotta keep an eye on every little thing while someone's trying to sabotage you behind your back... it's exhausting, right? but hey, finding someone like that young man who genuinely gets it and doesn't go all power trip mode is rare. big props for standing up and seeing through all that noise – keep doing you!