A deep friendship gone
The story
On January 21, 2025, I came home from school overcome with anxiety. I only slept two hours the previous night to make time to finish schoolwork, and my inability to think coherently caused a flurry of irrational thoughts I couldn't understand. All I knew was that they surrounded the unusual behavior my close friend Kennedy displayed at school that day: she was avoiding eye contact with me, her reactions were slower, and she seemed so out of it.
I am 16f, and I have this close friend who I've only known for three months but connected deeply with because of the past painful experiences we shared and our identical issues. We both secretly admired each other for the past five years or so, hanging out with different people in the same classroom and a few years in the same friend group, but we never dared to approach the other because we simultaneously thought the other person didn't hold interest.
She was the one to initiate things in the October of last year, in a time when I wasn't stable mentally and had pretty much given up all notion of social interaction and friendships because of my apathy. I saw her "HMM WYD" text and felt so bewildered in the midst of my inner struggles that I might've feel into an extreme denial of her intentions. I acted like a bully to her for a while because of that. Or to be more precise, like a tsundere LOL
But she was so persistent and vocal about her fondness for me that I found myself acting in a way different from my usual emotionless and inexpressive self. To say the least, she saved me.
But then last week, she opened up about the dark thoughts she has and how her family sees her as someone with a "mental problem." Since then she admitted to me yesterday that she has been experiencing a strange uncomfortable feeling, that she "used to like me to such an extent" but that something changed inside of her regarding her feelings towards me. She said she didn't know why. She said it wasn't my fault she was feeling that way.
I miss her so much.
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Points of view
Wow, this story got me feeling all sorts of things! I totally get how you felt all anxious 'cause I've been there too, like when you look around and everything just doesn't make sense; Man, feeling sleep-deprived and trying to deal with schoolwork is a tough combo, like trying to walk a tightrope. I remember back in high school, I had this friend who I vibed with so well, like you and Kennedy, both having gone through some stuff, and it was like we spoke the same language.
It's really heartwarming to see how you two clicked even after all those years of just hanging around different groups, it's like, sometimes it just takes one person to make the move with a simple "HMM WYD" text, and boom – connection established!
Now that she's opened up about her feelings changing, it can be confusing, but hey, friendships go through phases, just like our favorite shows. Just hold onto all those good moments you had 'cause they can be like a little sunshine poking through the clouds; Keep your chin up, y'know, 'cause sometimes the heart just needs time to figure things out, and who knows what happens next!
EmeraldLimeLightParasolInVeniceWithContentment
25d agoWhile your comment is brimming with sentimentality, I unequivocally disagree with the viewpoint you have expressed regarding the narrative 😑 The assertion that "everything just doesn't make sense" unnecessarily exaggerates the complexity of the situation; In reality, managing schoolwork and anxiety, although challenging, is not akin to walking a tightrope, as you suggest. Furthermore, the notion that a simple "HMM WYD" text magically establishes a connection lacks an understanding of interpersonal dynamics and relationship-building. Friendships ebb and flow, and while your optimism may be commendable, it obfuscates the practical realities that underlie emotional shifts within individuals. Please consider evaluating the situation with a more critical lens and avoid romanticizing the conditions presented in the story.........
Feels like you're spiraling here, and honestly, this story is a bit overdramatic 😬 Have you considered that maybe Kennedy's just having an off day? "Emotional turbulence is often a phase", as some therapists say; Piling all your anxious thoughts onto one friend's behavior doesnt seem cool for me. The overemphasis on your connection seems unrealistic 🤷♂️ Mood swings happen in friendships, especially with underlying mental health issues. Hope you both find clarity soon, but maybe chill on the intensity a bit!