Realization and Acceptance
The story
Me and virgo have been friends for 4 some months and bit more. It's not news to me that this is a purely plain friendship, with no scope for anything else. But somehow I failed. This person has been a great great friend to me all these months, helped me in every way the could, been there for me, been sensible. Its just that I feel we 'll never be able to get on the same page ever. The equation between us is no more the same. It's just simple from that side, whereas it's quite complicated on my end now. I kept denying to myself and them the turmoil I felt within me everytime. It was not simple jealousy. It was much more. Me telling them every little thing in my daily life, every ups and downs, frustrations and joys, lead me here today. Obviously, what did I think. I would be able to maintain a simple friendship after involving them so much in my life? I should have listened to myself that I wouldn't be able to do this.
Today I am finding myself in a place to blame myself and no one else, even they might say it's all my fault, because truly it's mine only. They seem to be quite outgoing and chill with their girl buddies the same way they are with their guy buddies. They made that space for themselves where they can freely go out with whichever friend whenever. They are more open with their friends than their family. I am the opposite here. Another thing, they see every other friend the same way (atleast that's what they say), they love to travel, and take their friends out to travel. Travelling is their one true love. This person dropped the girl buddy to the railway station late at night (mind you, they are friends since long). They also took her out for her birthday and came home late at night (almost one half day of travelling). They are now planning a trip to rishikesh. Wow. They missed out on clearing that it's with this girl not a guy friend. And that's what really shattered me for good this time. I know this time it's irreparable. This person is so damn excited for a 2 day trip, looking to see if it's safe for girls. Also note that they've been going out a bit too often these days. Obviously they are kinda nearby to meet. Unlike me who stays states apart. I am well aware of the fact that I do sound extremely jealous, but I am also hurt. The reason being me myself. I can't do this simple friendship with anyone, or have a good friendship only with such a person after involving them so much into my life. I do get attached eventually. This is me. I really can't do anything about this. I admit this a weak side of me, which is bad. I really don't feel these ppl might end up being more than friends, given that they get to meet a lot, go on trips together and they love going out. Like wow. Ok he didn't want to go on a trip with his guy friends. But for her he quickly said yes, thats already a plan in making.
1. Stop involving them so much in ur life
2. It's not going to look nice admittedly
3. Someday actually open up to them, and settle things.
4. Do not care where it goes. Whatever will happen will happen for the best.
5. This is God clearing your path for your future.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey, so I kinda get where you’re coming from, you know? Maintaining that professional detachment in friendships can be really tricky, and like, it sounds like your friend has a knack for compartmentalizing relationships in a way that’s a bit more liberal than what you’re comfy with.
Yeah, the whole traveling thing and late-night adventures with girl buddies must feel like a breach of expectations on your part, and honestly, it’s super relatable to get attached when you’re involving someone so deeply in your life’s narrative. It’s like blurring those boundaries and disregarding the typical norms of casual interactions.
Now, here’s the thing — your points are all valid, but you gotta recognize that this is kinda intricate territory, and emotions can be a web of conflicting dynamics. It’s like you want a cohesive bond while grappling with internal conflict and a discrepancy in social paradigms.
But you mention God and destiny and all that at the end, which makes me think you’re trying to rationalize a pretty complex human relationship with potentially cosmic justifications — which, well, takes the burden off a little, but maybe not entirely.
Truly, it’s a whole existential introspective mess. 😕
Yeah it's a whole big mess...but yeah the matter is solved as of now. He insisted he wanted to help me clear any doubts I had and helped me understand things from his perspective which helped..I guess.
WonderfulMulberryLightningZigguratInMexicoCityWithAnticipation
7d agoHope it will be ok now!
gotta say "expectations lead to disappointments" you know???? friendships are complex but seems like ur projecting a bit???? maybe it's not their fault they're sociable???? feelings are tricky but mixing them with assumptions is a slippery slope!! quite the tricky subject if u ask me maybe think about different perspectives???? it's always two sides to a story, right???? don't rush into conclusions there's always room for communication??!!!
Yes and that's what we did after that. It's better now. Thank youuu✨
CuriousGreenFireTurntableInBrusselsWithGuilt
6d agoglade to read that! :)