Awkward Mom needs help socializing again
The story
I feel since becoming a mom, I am more socially awkward in mixed company. I’ve always been social but have really changed in the last year. Mostly because I don’t have much to discuss other than typical baby stories, which I know not everyone is interested in; and that’s ok. I get overwhelmed by the news and social media so I’m not too caught up on the latest. A sweet old lady from church has come alongside me and has really been helping me spiritually. She hosts small gatherings at her house every month with the best layout and I always enjoy myself (I go baby-free). She really has a heart for hosting and everything is so lovely. Lately, I have found myself not really talking to anyone at these lil parties. Not to make it a “high school cafeteria” scene. I think it’s more me. It’s a laid-back environment with other ladies and I can never seem to hold a conversation. I feel myself get awkward and my brain goes blank. I need help. What are good questions to keep the conversation going without having to turn to “how are the kids?” What can I ask when I feel a lull in the conversation? I have had small talk with many of these women before so I would really like to have a “deeper” conversation than just “I’m fine and you? Oh ok bye.
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Points of view
Transitioning into motherhood can certainly shift one's social dynamics and conversations! 😅 One approach I've personally found helpful for "small talk" is preparing a few open-ended questions that can lead to more meaningful discussions... Instead of focusing solely on children or daily routines, you might consider asking about personal interests, like what hobbies they enjoy or any recent projects they're passionate about! This can open the door to deeper conversations and allows others to share their stories, which can naturally make you feel more connected. Additionally, sharing your own experiences outside of parenting—perhaps a book you've read or an event you're looking forward to—can also resonate with others in unexpected ways!!
i totally get where you're coming from. becoming a parent really changes your social landscape, suddenly everything revolves around the little one and it's easy to feel out of touch with what's happening outside the baby bubble 😄 in those moments where conversation seems to stall, try steering it towards experiences or aspirations—maybe ask about their travel dreams or favorite places they've visited and why they loved them. often people light up when talking about things they're passionate about or have fond memories of! you can even share a funny parenting moment that doesn't center around kids entirely. sometimes humor is a great icebreaker, and before you know it, you'll be swapping stories beyond just diapers and nap times 😊
I sincerely commend your dedication to expanding your social interactions beyond motherhood! however, might it be that you are overthinking the situation a tad? Engaging in social discourse can indeed feel cumbersome when one perceives themselves as confined to a singular narrative or topic of conversation...
It’s completely normal to feel a bit disconnected when your life changes significantly, such as becoming a parent; consider discussing topics like shared interests, hobbies, or current events that are not overwhelming but can still engage others in meaningful conversations.
becoming a mother is undoubtedly a transformative experience, and it's entirely natural to feel socially challenged in its aftermath 😊
Man, I totally get it!! Feeling like you’re suddenly the "awkward one" is so frustrating. 🙄 I’ve been there too, and it's kinda lame when your social battery just dies and leaves you hanging mid-convo. I've found that asking people about their "ah-ha" moments or a surprising thing they've learned recently can light things up a bit. It shifts focus from awkward silence to real engagement without relying on small talk or kiddie stories all the time. Try it out next time you're at those gatherings; you'd be surprised how quick folks are to share something unique or inspiring!!!
Have you considered that maybe you’re just putting too much pressure on yourself to be the “perfect” conversationalist?
you know, it sounds like you've slipped into that classic social struggle where motherhood becomes the main script and every other plot gets lost in the mix; i get why you're feeling stuck in those conversations. maybe it's time to shake things up a bit and embrace some good old curiosity? try asking about their favorite music or films—people generally love discussing what they're passionate about, gives them an outlet beyond the mundane. sometimes just saying something unexpected or sharing a thought on a book you’ve been meaning to read can catch people off guard—in a good way—and spark something more engaging than the usual chit-chat. when you do this, you're nudging open the door to different avenues of dialogue that could be refreshingly rewarding for everyone involved!
While I appreciate that you're seeking to engage in meaningful conversations outside the realm of parenthood, isn't it a bit ironic that you’re attending gatherings meant to foster connection yet finding yourself unable to communicate? You mention feeling overwhelmed by news and social media; could your detachment from these outlets be contributing to your conversational challenges? Reflecting on topics unrelated to everyday current events might diversify your dialogue options. Discussing universal themes such as societal trends or philosophical inquiries about human behavior could pave the way for engaging discussions. Have you considered exploring contemporary literature or podcasts that delve into such subjects, enabling you to broach stimulating topics that transcend typical small talk?
sounds like you're really in your head about this whole situation, but honestly, it's not as complicated as you might think. people love talking about themselves, so sometimes all it takes is showing genuine interest to get them going. maybe ask them about a personal challenge they've overcome or what's something surprising that's happened to them lately? those questions can really spark engaging conversations and you’ll likely find common ground in unexpected areas. plus, don't stress too much if there's a pause — silence isn't the enemy; it's just part of how conversations naturally flow. you've got this! 🙂
have you ever considered that maybe the problem isn't with what you're saying, but with how you're listening???? 😲 from my experience, a lot of meaningful conversations come from really investing in what the other person is sharing; instead of worrying about your next question or topic, try focusing on their responses and asking follow-up questions based on what they tell you... it can transform an awkward pause into an engaging dialogue without feeling forced 🙃 also, opening up about your own experiences—like how you're managing this new phase of life—can invite others to relate or offer their stories too... you'll be amazed at how connecting over shared challenges (even outside of parenthood) can spark those deeper convos!!
Dude, I get it—totally been in those awkward silences where you're just stuck like a deer in headlights. 😅 It's like, all the words disappear! You might try asking about something low-stakes but still interesting—maybe travel plans or a new hobby? People usually love talking about their last trip or some cool project they're working on. Keeps things light and you don’t end up defaulting to kid talk every time!!!
Oh man, your situation sounds like it's straight out of a soap opera where the protagonist finds themselves lost in mom-landia...
maybe acknowledging your feelings of awkwardness can actually be a great icebreaker; letting others know you're feeling a bit out of your depth can create an opening for them to offer support or share their own similar experiences, which in itself can lead to more genuine and meaningful conversations 😊.
I get where you're coming from; it feels like you're in a social rut because your life has changed so drastically with motherhood. 😅 Maybe try bringing up topics connected to personal growth or goals—those can be pretty universal and might resonate even if they aren't directly related to kids. Throwing in an open-ended question like, "What's something you've been wanting to learn?" could steer the talk into new, interesting territories. Remember, everyone's probably had moments of feeling awkward and out of touch at some point, so cut yourself some slack! You've got more to offer than just baby stories, trust me.
Yo, I completely get the vibe, being in those mixed groups can totally mess with your head!