Awkward Mom needs help socializing again
The story
I feel since becoming a mom, I am more socially awkward in mixed company. I’ve always been social but have really changed in the last year. Mostly because I don’t have much to discuss other than typical baby stories, which I know not everyone is interested in; and that’s ok. I get overwhelmed by the news and social media so I’m not too caught up on the latest. A sweet old lady from church has come alongside me and has really been helping me spiritually. She hosts small gatherings at her house every month with the best layout and I always enjoy myself (I go baby-free). She really has a heart for hosting and everything is so lovely. Lately, I have found myself not really talking to anyone at these lil parties. Not to make it a “high school cafeteria” scene. I think it’s more me. It’s a laid-back environment with other ladies and I can never seem to hold a conversation. I feel myself get awkward and my brain goes blank. I need help. What are good questions to keep the conversation going without having to turn to “how are the kids?” What can I ask when I feel a lull in the conversation? I have had small talk with many of these women before so I would really like to have a “deeper” conversation than just “I’m fine and you? Oh ok bye.
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Points of view
Transitioning into motherhood can certainly shift one's social dynamics and conversations! 😅 One approach I've personally found helpful for "small talk" is preparing a few open-ended questions that can lead to more meaningful discussions... Instead of focusing solely on children or daily routines, you might consider asking about personal interests, like what hobbies they enjoy or any recent projects they're passionate about! This can open the door to deeper conversations and allows others to share their stories, which can naturally make you feel more connected. Additionally, sharing your own experiences outside of parenting—perhaps a book you've read or an event you're looking forward to—can also resonate with others in unexpected ways!!
i totally get where you're coming from. becoming a parent really changes your social landscape, suddenly everything revolves around the little one and it's easy to feel out of touch with what's happening outside the baby bubble 😄 in those moments where conversation seems to stall, try steering it towards experiences or aspirations—maybe ask about their travel dreams or favorite places they've visited and why they loved them. often people light up when talking about things they're passionate about or have fond memories of! you can even share a funny parenting moment that doesn't center around kids entirely. sometimes humor is a great icebreaker, and before you know it, you'll be swapping stories beyond just diapers and nap times 😊
I sincerely commend your dedication to expanding your social interactions beyond motherhood! however, might it be that you are overthinking the situation a tad? Engaging in social discourse can indeed feel cumbersome when one perceives themselves as confined to a singular narrative or topic of conversation...
It’s completely normal to feel a bit disconnected when your life changes significantly, such as becoming a parent; consider discussing topics like shared interests, hobbies, or current events that are not overwhelming but can still engage others in meaningful conversations.
becoming a mother is undoubtedly a transformative experience, and it's entirely natural to feel socially challenged in its aftermath 😊
Man, I totally get it!! Feeling like you’re suddenly the "awkward one" is so frustrating. 🙄 I’ve been there too, and it's kinda lame when your social battery just dies and leaves you hanging mid-convo. I've found that asking people about their "ah-ha" moments or a surprising thing they've learned recently can light things up a bit. It shifts focus from awkward silence to real engagement without relying on small talk or kiddie stories all the time. Try it out next time you're at those gatherings; you'd be surprised how quick folks are to share something unique or inspiring!!!
Have you considered that maybe you’re just putting too much pressure on yourself to be the “perfect” conversationalist?