I'm tired.
The story
I have a friend I'll call V, and I've been with him for a really long time. Something I've noticed through the years is that he's really irratable, and his mood can switch within seconds. He's a really nice person overall, but sometimes I wonder if he's going too far. In the past week, I created a youtube channel and made a challange that whichever one of my friends finds it first gets a prize I couldn't think of, so V reccomened $30 bucks and we agreed. From what I've understood, both of us have been really exited (V had a lot of questions about the channel and whatnot, and I would update them about the first video frequently). But recently, I don't know what happened but I think they kind of snapped and told me the whole challange thing was cringe, and from what I can tell got mad about how I couldn't think of a reward and needed ideas at the begining. I don't know if I did anything wrong recently, but I've kind of given up on asking that because of how pissed they get when I do (even when I explain how my autism kind of makes me not know what happened, and me asking what I did isn't me trying to be rude but genuinely wanting to know to take responsability). I don't know what they want me to do either, because it's always mixed. They're the reason I've become a better person (because I used to be a terrible friend to an older friend), but at the same time make me wonder why I even try anymore. At the beginning of the year, they told me I should actually show I care about people (back then I would love people to death but not know how to show it), yet when I started asking questions about their day they said it was annoying and so at some point I just stopped. The only way I really know how to interact with V is by just nodding along when they talk about their intrests, but then that backfires because they say I have no personality and they don't like people with no personalities. I don't feel like I can talk about my personal life with them anymore, and it's gone as far as when two of my pets died I just shut up about it. They say that they know a lot about me and my life (because they say I yapp a lot, though I've been going nonverbal around them), but I know there's a lot I need to tell them (like my triggers and such) that I physicaly cannot now. I've changed over the past year, but the past is the only version of myself that they know.
I'm just tired and really didn't want my summer break to start off this way. I know thats there's still probably a lot they're going through that I don't know about, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm just tired of this happening and really wish they'd communicate what they want more because I'm very confused.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I hear you, and it sounds like you're going through a really tough time managing this friendship with V. It seems like there's an emotional rollercoaster at play here 😟. It's good to know that you appreciate how V has helped you grow, but it's also clear there's a lot of frustration on your end.
"Mixed signals" seem to be a big issue, like when they wanted you to show you care, but then got annoyed when you asked about their day. That can be super confusing! Do you think V is aware of how their actions impact you? It might be worth having an open conversation about setting mutual expectations.
Also, shutting down about important things like the loss of your pets is a signal that communication is breaking down. It's important that you feel heard and respected. Maybe try to find a middle ground where both of you can express yourselves without judgment. How do you feel about initiating a chat about this? Could be a good step towards a healthier dynamic 🙌.
Wow, it sounds like you're really dealing with a complex situation with V 🤔. I completely agree with your feelings; it's tough when someone's volatility is so unpredictable. The challenge seemed like a great idea, something engaging and fun for your friends, and V's reaction just seems unwarranted and discouraging.
"Mixed signals" are definitely challenging, and it really affects how you can interact or communicate with each other. It's almost like V is being a bit of a mood drain. I've encountered similar situations where people's energy just oscillates unpredictably, and it's mentally exhausting.
It's unfortunate you felt you couldn't talk about your pets passing away. Communication should be a bidirectional pathway, and it feels like V is clogging it up. Perhaps there's an underlying issue here with V that they're not expressing, but it's not fair for you to bear the impact without clarity.
It must be difficult being unable to share pieces of yourself with someone you've known for so long. I hope you're able to find a resolution or peace in this tumultuous friendship; maybe setting up a calm conversation could help you both recalibrate your expectations. Wishing you all the best navigating this situation 😊.
i get what you're saying, and it sounds like dealing with V's mood swings is a real hassle. it's wild how one minute they're all in for the YouTube challenge, and the next they’re calling it "cringe", right?!!! who needs that kind of negativity when you're just trying to have some fun and bring a bit of excitement to the group?
honestly, i’d say you’re doing way more than your share here. everyone deserves friends who are straightforward without throwing shade or mixed signals all the time. you’re trying to grow and be a better person, yet it seems like they’re stuck in this loop of confusion and criticism. talking about what's bothering you is crucial, and if V’s reaction makes that difficult, maybe it's time to reevaluate?!!
it's admirable that you've learned from the past and are trying to prove yourself. but don't let their issues stop you from enjoying your summer and focusing on things that matter. life’s too short to waste on constant drama. hang in there and keep those positive vibes going!!!
Hey, I get what you're saying, but it kinda feels like you're letting V walk all over you??? Sure, V's mood swings might be wild, but seriously, why are you giving them so much power over how you feel? You're trying to bring some fun with the YouTube challenge, and if V doesn't get it, maybe it's their problem, not yours; stop letting their negativity get to you.
And come on, not talking about important stuff like your pets just cause V might react badly?? That's not cool. You deserve friends who let you express yourself without judgment, not ones who make you go mute.
It sounds like you're shouldering a lot of their issues without much in return. You've gotta look out for number one sometimes. Try focusing on the people who actually lift you up!!! It's your summer break, so make sure it's about what makes you happy, not just dealing with V's drama. You already sound like you're on a path to self-improvement, so keep at it and find the vibes you need!
I understand that you're going through a challenging time with V, but it seems there might be more to this story. While it’s clear that V's behavior is frustrating, have you considered that communication might be a two-way street? Maybe V is struggling with issues they're not sharing; it could be worth addressing this directly with them to understand their perspective.
I've experienced similar situations where open dialogue brought clarity and resolution. It might just be a matter of them feeling misunderstood; sitting down for an honest talk could help in resolving underlying tensions. You might find that by being upfront, you both can establish clearer boundaries and expectations.
It's commendable how you've taken steps to improve as a person. Remember to ensure the relationships you cultivate bring mutual growth and positivity. Focusing on effective communication can make a significant difference. Keep that hopeful outlook, and things will gradually improve.