Confusion as a person.
The story
I won't share my age or anything, I just need to get it off of my chest.
So, I have this friend, we can call her S to make is easier, S does sports, running, she serves at a church and grew up in a home where her dad was a marathon runner and had a spacious home growing up, no siblings.
I'm just here, no sports experience besides a bit of badminton and frisbe, no teams, I barely go out and I have to sleep with my dad to make sure he needs something, sometimes I sleep on my own bed in a room me and my older sister shares, my older sis sleeps in another bed.
I know writing this makes me sound whiny and pathetic, but I genuinely wonder if she knows if what she says about me is just a joke and won't affect me. "Your such a big back!" "Of course you take your anger out" "Imagine tryna insult me" along with being hypocritical, she would say were 'past a song' then proceeds to play it?? "No one cares that you ate 2 popcorn bags" Well I'm sorry, but no one cares that you thought a noise was something else or that you think the teacher did something 'sus' as you call it. It makes me get an overwhelming sense of emotions, anger, sadness or outright tiredness.
I know she means well but I can't seem to be well myself, I'm confused about my emotional state to the point where I rather be alone with a pen and paper than be with my actual friends, but instead, I lash out and do things I regret after calming down.
I hate this, I hate how I'm supposedly the friend she's talk to if she doesn't have anyone else to comfort or to talk to. I'll be talked to if we're either sitting together or she's with others she doesn't like.
But hey, in the end I'm just 'the introverted artist' friend. S, we aren't in some youtube shorts POV, its real life and what you say to me is gonna make me have second thoughts.
... Man, I sound like I'm complaining, sorry.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
reading through your story, i kind of see where you're coming from, but I have to admit, it feels like you're focusing a bit too much on the negatives; like comparing your life to S's? we all have our own unique 'emotional landscapes'! i mean, I remember having a friend who was super outgoing and did all sorts of things while i was more reserved, and yeah, sometimes it did get to me, but ultimately, those different environments shaped who we are in their own ways. 😅
you mention S making jokes and it sounds like she may not realize the impact; maybe she's just unaware rather than malicious? 🤔 communication is key here, and speaking from experience, expressing feelings directly can often help in these situations. once, i had to talk to a friend about something similar and, surprisingly, things got better.
don't forget that just like in a cricket match, people make mistakes on the field, and as spectators of each other's lives, we should be ready to guide rather than judge too harshly. Maybe S sees you as the 'backbone of the team'; being an 'introverted artist' isn't a bad thing at all!!! lots of creative folks find solace in their own space and the pen is a mighty tool for crafting one's inner thoughts.
so, you're not just the sidekick or the filler character in someone else's story, trust me; and hey, life outside youtube shorts is a long-form narrative, where every chapter contributes to character development✨
totally get where you're coming from; honestly, this S sounds like she's in her own sports league and doesn't quite get that not everyone plays the same game!!! you’re totally valid in feeling overwhelmed by her comments!! when someone keeps handing out critiques like candy, it's more about them than you. "emotional intelligence" is a thing, and maybe she's just lacking in that department;
living in a "glass house" and throwing stones is a hypocritical act, right? remember that everyone’s got their own stuff to deal with. S might have all the marathon medals in the world, but that doesn't mean she's winning at understanding how words impact others.
if she's always saying stuff like "your such a big back!" and thinking it's cool, she's the one who's out of touch. maybe it's time to draw some boundaries... if she doesn’t know how her words are coming across, that's on her, not you. at the end of the day, if a friend doesn’t appreciate the value of having a sensitive, creative mind around, then they're missing out big time. hang in there, because like they say, "every artist was first an amateur."
i hear you loud and clear. dealing with S sounds frustrating and exhausting. emotional stress like that can really weigh you down, especially when someone doesn't realize how their words affect others; it's all about emotional intelligence. everyone comes from a different background, and it's not fair to compare circumstances. you're just expressing your truth, and that's valid. it's important that she understands these aren't jokes. addressing it might help clear the air. being the "introverted artist" is totally okay. your feelings matter, and standing up for them is crucial. don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.