Hey me.

I see you sitting there, blasting Glass Half Empty on loop through your earbuds in the middle of class. I'm doing the same thing, too. Those lyrics are so relatable, aren't they? Anyway. I know Bowie, Trinity, and Harvie are still ignoring you. I know that Johne and Amelia still forget you're there sometimes. I know that Angel is your only friend left that sees and hears you. But hey, things'll get better. I think. You know, let's just reflect on the past four years before we get to high school. How's that sound? and when we're seniors, we'll reflect on our high school years too. Here we go:

Remember 5th grade? when you and Trinity first met? When you dated Livvie? Remember her? I forgot what school she goes to now... Oh well. But remember recess, playing with all of Trinity's little plastic animals? Remember there Kermits? You never did really become part of that... But that's besides the point. 5th grade was fun! I miss it. I bet you do too.

6th grade was when you met Amelia, Harvie, and Maddie. I still remember the exact places we sat at lunch. The third round table, and you always say next to Amelia. And you would give her your cheeseburger (which you got everyday) even though she had a lunchbox. Those were the good days... Ah well. They're gone now. But those days were easy, you never had to worry about whether or not your existence would be remembered the next day. EVeryone was interested in the same things, and we were all one friendgroup, and there was no stress about who liked who. That is, until you started liking Amelia. But you never asked her out, did you? I don't blame you. Stuff like that is really stressful.

And 7th grade! That was when you met Bowie, Angel, and Johne. Remember how you and Bowie started out? kinda awkward, I remember. Emma had been saying for a while that you and Bowie would be best friends. And you became best friends, didn't you! You two had such fun together. Then Trinity and Amelia started dating. Then you and Maddie started dating. Then you broke up with Maddie. And then you and Bowie started dating. 7th grade was ok.

But 8th grade... That's when everything fell apart. You broke up with Bowie, yet you two still stayed best friends. Nothing changed between you two, except maybe that you'd make jokes about when you two dated, things like, "why did I ever date you" whenever one of you did something dumb. But then... people started drifting. The friendgroup split in half. One half even moved tables at lunch. That was your half. And the other half stopped speaking to you and you only. Even Bowie, who was on that half. And then you started turning invisible with your own half. Even on your birthday. At least you still had Angel. But some days, you were invisible to even her. Depression got the best of you, didn't it? It still has me in its holds.

But listen to me now: you can't let yourself disappear. Get new friends. Ones who see you and hear you. Don't let the old ones turn you invisible. They don't define you. Even if things seem hopeless now, you'll get through this. You have to. And if you don't, then at least you tried, right? so try. Don't let go just yet. Don't give up until you can't go any further. It may seem like you can't now, but you can. Trust me. The apathy and depression may be bad, but you'll survive it all. Maybe. Possibly. You've almost made it to high school. Just keep pushing, and you'll get there. I get it, you want to just fizzle out, to just give up. But you can't. Keep going. Do it for Angel. For Sam, too, even though you can't talk to him anymore. But he'd want you to keep going. So keep going.

See you soon,

You.

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