Friendship dilemma
The story
To understand why I feel so strongly you need to know the context. I met this friend who we’ll call A, now me and A met in a psychiatric and behavioral clinic, we had an instant click. It was the type of friendship you know can last years, he was there for some of my darkest moments. We helped each other and generally just got along well. A and I expanded our friend group which felt nice, I’d never had friends like that before. An issue arose when there was a love triangle of sorts with another member J. Now J and I had something romantic brewing which was nice, I like him too, but then A said he’d also developed feelings for me. This was a whole mess in the group because I was put on the spot to choose who I’d rather be with, this was incredibly difficult because while I really liked J, I had been a bad partner and I was scared I’d he’d leave me. I was also scared I would lose A since I didn’t reciprocate those feelings, a friend in the group M told me if I couldn’t choose then I just shouldn’t be either either, I felt sad and alone so I chose J since he was there for me in all this, I understand why A took a break from me, we were young and emotional. The issue now though is J and I are still together and he really dislikes A from the past experience we had, I totally understand but I just can’t let A go, he is one of the only people I’ve confided in about incredibly difficult topics. He has gone through almost the exact same things as me which helps me feel like the unhealthy ways I cope don’t make me a freak, J is wonderful and I could never ask for a better partner, but he just cannot understand certain ways I act and so I miss talking to A. They hate eachother and I feel stuck in the middle since I had to cut contact with A, we talk now and then and the friendship is still there, but now he’s been avoiding my texts, I can see he’s online and he views my profile and likes my posts, he just won’t talk to me, how can I good with these feelings?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
it sounds like you're navigating an incredibly complex and emotional situation, which is difficult in itself; being caught between two people you care about must feel overwhelming. it's understandable why you'd feel torn given your deep connections with both J and A. maybe it would help to focus on establishing some personal boundaries that safeguard your peace while being honest about your feelings with both parties; having a candid conversation with J about why A means so much to you might offer a path towards understanding, even if it doesn't resolve everything right away.
i totally get why you're feeling conflicted, but tbh, it's kinda tough trying to maintain both relationships. 🤔 i've been in a similar spot where my best friend and partner didn't see eye-to-eye, and it was exhausting trying to keep everyone happy. in the end, i realized that sometimes you have to choose what's healthiest for your own mental space. maybe ask yourself if reaching out to A is really worth all this tension with J or if it's time to find support elsewhere? it sucks losing connections, but protecting your peace is key!
i can totally see why you're feeling stuck, but honestly, sometimes people drift apart for a reason; i've had to let go of close friends before and trust me, it was hard, but i realized it was part of growing up.
Sounds like quite the pickle; maybe it's worth considering that both relationships are important in different ways and figuring out how to balance them might help...
oh man, that’s such a tough spot to be in 😕 it’s like you’re caught in the middle of this emotional tug-of-war between people who are both important in different ways. maybe it's worth considering what you need right now for your own well-being and mental health. have you thought about talking with A about why he’s avoiding your texts? sometimes clearing the air can help, even if things aren’t immediately perfect afterward. take care of yourself while juggling all these emotions, it's okay to feel stuck and unsure too!
Man, this whole thing seems like a nightmare to be honest; keeping one foot in each camp seems like it's just tearing you apart. Tbh, sometimes we gotta face the music and make those tough calls even if it means leaving some people behind..; I had to distance myself from folks who weighed me down emotionally: was rough but worth it. No lie, maybe it's time to do what's best for your mental health and peace of mind instead of juggling both sides and ending up stressed out?! 🤷♀️ Just my two cents!
ugh, what a sticky situation. i totally get why you're struggling here; balancing those feelings must be exhausting. honestly, this kind of drama is draining and it's hard when your heart's pulling you in different directions. ever considered talking to J about how he feels and why it bothers him so much? i'm curious if there's room for some compromise or understanding there. maybe it'll help if A knew the pressure you're dealing with too; sometimes just being heard by both sides can start to ease the tension a bit. keep hanging in there! 💪
honestly, it sounds like you’ve become the third wheel in your own life, and that's a bit concerning. not to be overly critical, but expecting everything to go smoothly while maintaining a friendship with A is kinda unrealistic given the baggage...
Balancing friendships and romantic relationships is never easy; it's a complex dance of emotions and connections. While A was pivotal during crucial times, perhaps you're idealizing the friendship because of shared struggles. Ask yourself if you're holding onto A for comfort or genuine necessity. Life isn't a friendship fairy tale; sometimes we must prioritize harmony in current bonds over rekindling past ones...
Honestly, you might have to take a step back and assess what you really want from both A and J, like maybe ask yourself if there's a way to keep your sanity while dealing with this friendship love triangle without losing anyone who's important; I mean, sometimes finding that balance means setting clear boundaries or letting them know how freaking overwhelming it is for you to be stuck in the middle.
Oh wow, that sounds like a real emotional rollercoaster!!! 😩 From what you shared, it seems like there's a massive emotional investment in both A and J; I totally get why that's so draining. You know, it's possible that A is creating distance because he's also feeling conflicted or hurt by the situation. Sometimes people need space to process things on their own terms too...