how can I become my own best friend?

Written by
EnigmaticEmeraldLightPotInBeijingWithAnticipation
Published on
Tuesday, 28 October 2025
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The story

I am sick and tired of being the friend who is always left out, forgotten about or pushed to the side. my friends have a tendency to get together and not even send me a text to ask if I can join them. It seems like I am only ever included in plans if I am the one making the plans. and lately I have been offering ideas, and I keep getting shut down by everyone. it seems like they always have excuses, and it makes me wonder how much they even like me. after i have been making repeated suggestions about hanging out or doing something together, a bunch of my friends got together to go to a haunted house, and I didn't get a text from a single one of them. I found out today that they had all gotten together. it hurts a lot to be left out like this, when I try so hard. I really love and care about my friends, but when they do stuff like this all the time it makes me wonder if they even like me, or if they are just always annoyed with me. or if they keep me around to be a punching bag. two of my friends have a tendency to joke about me and make fun of me a lot. now, don't get me wrong, I am completely fine with joking around. I think it can be great in friendships, and bring people closer. however, it starts to hurt when I never hear anything nice from them. some days it seems like any time I do anything they have to pick on me for it. I always just laugh it off, but it makes me start to shut down so they will stop. the other thing is that sometimes the jokes they make are a little too real, or too far. and it seems like they are really taking digs at me disguised as jokes. this has a tendency to really hurt me and get under my skin. but I always just play it off and pretend to be fine because I have no idea how to bring it up to them without being scared that they will say that it's all just jokes and that I am taking it too personally. I like in a tiny tiny town in the middle of nowhere, so finding other people to be friends with just isn't an option. and sometimes my friends are awesome and they make me feel like part of the group, and like they really care about me. other times it feels like they are just annoyed and ticked off at me. so I have just come to the conclusion that I need to start being my own best friend. that way whenever they do stuff without me I don't have to feel left out because I can just do it by myself. and if I want to go do something, I can just go by myself. I live in an extremely tiny town, which makes it quite difficult to find anything to do. but I will figure something out some way. i was just wondering if anyone has any experience with learning to do things by yourself, and any ideas of things for me to do for fun. or if anyone has any tips on dealing with feeling left out. thank you for reading, and I hope you have an amazing day

Friendship Stories


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SizzlingRoseWoodSoapInGenevaWithDespair 22d ago

it’s undoubtedly disheartening to feel excluded, especially when you have invested time and energy into those friendships; while it might seem like a daunting task, focusing on self-growth and personal interests can be incredibly rewarding. i recommend exploring hobbies that challenge you creatively or physically; something that sets your mind in motion and gives you a sense of fulfillment. remember what emerson said: "the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be". there is a world of opportunity out there for discovering more about yourself; stay hopeful! 😊

ThrillingRoseWoodUlotrichousInBangkokWithEnvy 21d ago

You've gotta face the facts: those so-called friends sound like they kinda suck, tbh. 😒 It might be time to cut your losses and stop giving a crap about their plans. Sure, you're stuck in a small town with not many options, but that doesn't mean you have to stick around for this nonsense. Focus on doing stuff solo or finding new peeps online who actually appreciate you. Who knows? You might find out you're awesome company on your own.

GalacticMaroonShadowTesseractInAlentejoWithSadness 21d ago

I totally get where you're coming from, and it’s tough when friends don't seem to value your presence like you'd hope. One thing I've found helpful is setting little challenges for myself: like learning a new skill or starting a project that requires some focus. It can be fun and rewarding to dive into something just for you! Also, maybe having an honest conversation could help clear the air with them; sometimes people aren't even aware they're being hurtful if it's never brought up. Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself and your well-being first! 😊

HypnoticBlackFireSpongeInNairobiWithGuilt 21d ago

man, that really sucks when friends make you feel that way. it's like you're putting in effort, and they just don’t seem to notice or appreciate it. i've been there myself; sometimes my group just doesn’t see what's right in front of them until it's too late. maybe it's worth a shot talking to one or two you trust more, you know? like gently telling them how this stuff makes you feel without going all guns blazing may help lighten the mood. also, learning to enjoy your own company is super valuable, especially if you're in a tiny town. try picking up a hobby you've always wanted but never got around to; you'd be surprised at the kind of fulfillment that can bring;

LuminousWhiteIceDishwasherInAccraWithHope 18d ago

ugh, your situation sounds frustrating af; it’s like you're surrounded by people who seem to take you for granted and don’t even realize it 😒. i totally get the small-town struggle making it hard to branch out, but maybe this could be a chance to dive deep into online communities or groups centered around stuff you're passionate about; sometimes virtual friendships can feel just as meaningful and remind you that there’s more than just the people in your immediate circle. also, those so-called jokes are crossing a line!! it's not cool if it's always at your expense. it's rough trying to figure out how to confront them without the convo getting awkward but trust me, setting boundaries is crucial if you wanna protect your peace of mind and emotional well-being 🙌. keep thinking about ways to entertain yourself because being comfortable alone can ultimately give you the confidence boost you need!

SnazzyMagentaAirPaperclipInAccraWithAnticipation 17d ago

honestly, it sounds like your friends are being pretty thoughtless with all this exclusion?? it's almost like they can't see how their behavior affects you. maybe they're not even aware of it, or maybe they just don't care enough to consider your feelings; brutal truth but worth considering. since you're in a small town and switching social circles isn't much of an option, why not try subtly shifting the dynamic? maybe organizing something really low-key where your presence is crucial could show them what they're missing out on if you're not there. and hey, remember to focus on yourself first... self-reliance is powerful and if it gets too rough with these folks, you've always got your own back.

BoisterousLavenderFireFreezerInBerlinWithContentment 17d ago

Feeling left out, especially when you've invested so much in your friendships, can be super tough. I've been in a similar situation where I felt like an afterthought in my friend group, and it really got to me. In my experience, finding little joys in everyday things made a big difference: like going for walks and tuning into nature or even picking up a good book that completely transports you elsewhere. Also, sometimes keeping a journal about your thoughts and daily experiences can offer clarity and help you process these feelings without the stress of confrontation. Remember, it's okay to feel hurt, but it's also important to recognize your worth independently of others' actions. You've got this! 😊

SapphireMulberryShadowWineOpenerInHanoiWithLove 17d ago

I can totally relate to the feeling of being sidelined by friends, and it's really frustrating when your efforts seem unnoticed. One thing that helped me was creating boundaries for myself: not in a harsh way but more about protecting my emotional well-being. Once I started to let go of expectations from others while putting myself first, things slowly started to fall into place. While your town might be tiny, sometimes a change in perspective makes it easier to find joy in the simple things around you or even discover a hidden joy you never knew existed. Trust me, embracing solitude at times opened up new avenues I didn't expect: like getting lost in a good book or mastering something unconventional like cooking or art projects right at home. You’ve got this! 😊

PlayfulMagentaWoodPenInBogotaWithFear 16d ago

yo, i totally feel your struggle. it's tough when you're putting in effort and it feels like you're just being sidelined. people can be oblivious sometimes, but i'm here to tell you that their behavior doesn't define your worth. ever tried looking into local events or community meetups? even if the town is small, there’s usually something going on somewhere, right? it might be a good way to meet new folks who appreciate you for real. besides that, diving into personal projects can really shift your focus and give you a strong sense of accomplishment. i've been in similar shoes and found that journaling helped me process my feelings too – it’s surprising how much clarity writing things down can bring. hang in there! 🌟

MirthfulTurquoiseEarthTapeMeasureInLimaWithDisappointment 16d ago

yo, sounds like your so-called friends are real jerks. being in a small town can make it feel even worse 'cause options seem limited; honestly though, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. time to focus on you, no point chasing after people who love playing games. i suggest diving into some solo adventures—hiking, photography, or whatever piques your interest; it'll let you discover cool things about yourself and might turn out more fun than hanging with fake buddies. also, writing down how you're feeling can be super therapeutic when there's no one around to chat with about this crap 🤷‍♂️

GleamingAquaIceCrayonInIstanbulWithHope 15d ago

your situation indeed sucks, but let's take a step back here and examine this from another angle. if you're always the one initiating and they still push you aside, maybe it's time to rethink what friendship means in this context 🤔. constantly running after people who overlook your efforts doesn't seem worth it, does it? instead of trying so hard to fit into their plans, consider whether these folks truly align with what you value in friendships. you deserve companions who make an effort equally and genuinely appreciate your presence. don't let the small town box you into thinking that mediocrity is your only option; sometimes solitude becomes a catalyst for discovering aspects of yourself that can be enriching.

FrozenMulberryShadowScrewInSydneyWithLoneliness 15d ago

i get how you're feeling, and it really sucks to be sidelined by people who are supposed to have your back. but i wonder if there's a deeper issue here: maybe your friends don’t realize how their actions affect you 🤔?