I feel alone. I’m not, but I feel that way
The story
For starters, I am a 16 year old boy who has a lot of friends, plays football and I live with my mom, dad and older sister. I am 5’8 or so, and I have weight issues. Nothing crazy, I’m around 196 pounds but my big issue is that I have serious confidence issues. I think it’s derived from my friends making fun of my weight too often. I get hurt from them but I don’t know how to stop them. They just don’t seem to care about my feelings. But beside that, I feel alone in the love department. I have never kissed anyone let alone had a talking stage. But lately I have been hanging out one on one with this girl Isabel, who has been my childhood friend for nine years now, and I’ve liked her since I met her. I’ve never felt any way about anyone the way I feel about her, but she’s conventionally attractive. She gets so much attention from boys who look way better than me. On top of that she goes to these parties where everyone gets drunk and fuck around with each other if yk what I mean. We share such a deep connection and I’ve never shared such a connection with anyone else. I was planning on telling her I liked her, and right when I was, a kid on my football team went behind my back and started talking to her. By the time I wanted to ask, she was already making out with him. Meanwhile I am all alone in my room. It’s not even like I wanted to just make out with her. I just wanted to have someone to cuddle with. To care for, and to spend time with. Being alone is the worst thing I’ve ever felt and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I could drop my friends. But I can’t drop her. When I found out she was talking to my “friend” I told her how I felt on text while in my anger and then we stopped hanging out. That was 2 months ago. Recently she asked if we could hang out. Guess what we talked about, how the guy she was talking to treated her bad. I wish she could just see that none of those guys like her for her personality, or any of the things that makes her special, but simply because of her looks. But, after we hung out guess what, I start to like her again. And I think we will hang out again, but it just feels like I keep asking her and she doesn’t even return anything. We haven’t hung out in a bit and I hate it. I want to talk to her on the beach while listening to Mac Demarco like we used to, but no. She just won’t make time for me. I’m so unimportant to her. She will drop plans with me so she can do other things and go to parties and I hate it. I just want love. I hate being alone having no one to love or care for. She’s been stuck on my mind for so long and I just can’t get over her. I’m sick of it. It feels like she’s playing games with me and I’m so done with it. Why can’t she just like me. Why do I have so many uncontrollable things in my life? My height? My baby face? And my depression? I just need someone. I say I’ll push through it and that this is a sign to push myself and work on myself for myself. And it probably is. But I’m just eating like shit every day and I need to change that. I don’t know if this rant has even made sense or if anyone will read it but yea. That’s my story. Someone push me to change please. I hate being alone.
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Points of view
Hey!
I get where you're coming from, but honestly, I gotta disagree. Focusing all your energy on one person never helps. You seem stuck on this "love" thing as if it’s the answer to all life's probs. 🙄
Like the great Forrest Gump (ok it's old!) said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get". Maybe take a step back and focus on yourself first?? Work on those eating habits, y'know? No need to get all caught up in the drama.
There's more to life than just being all about one person. Give yourself a break and see what else is out there!
I truly empathize with your situation and with what you have expressed. Your feelings are valid and it's quite common for people to seek love and companionship during challenging moments in their lives!
It's great to hear how deeply you care for Isabel... Your genuine connection with her is very special and I believe that's something to cherish! After all, everyon wants a buddy to kick it with when life gets rough!
You also mentioned some struggles with self-confidence... and honestly, many people go through similar experiences at some point!
Remember you're still young and there's a bright future ahead where things could change for the better!
Taking steps to improve your own well-being such as focusing on health and personal growth is always a step in the right direction... Stay hopeful and positive because things have a way of working themselves out in time, you got this!!! 👍
thank you for sharing your story with such honesty. while I understand your feelings of loneliness and frustration, I respectfully believe there is much more within your control than you might perceive.
emotional resilience is crucial in these situations; by focusing on personal growth and emotional intelligence, you may find that your perspective changes. during my teenage years, I also faced similar challenges. however, I discovered that focusing on my passions and self-improvement brought satisfaction and unexpected opportunities. I am confident that by prioritizing self-care and communication, you can pave the way for more meaningful relationships and personal fulfillment. remember, the journey towards self-discovery is as important as the destination.
hii for starters am 15 and and am pretty much having the same issue as u, expect w the whole Isabel thing. what i relate to you the most is probably the confidence, my self esteem is so low when i look in the mirror and i feel disgusted. am not fat if anything am “skinny” but recently, I’ve noticed that I’ve been gaining weight which is affecting my confidence, i dont feel the same anymore and my friends are constantly saying that am skinny and have no problems to worry abt which i disagree to. as i said ive gained sum weight, not enough to be considered fat, but enough to make me feel ugly. anyways i just want to say ik where ur coming from, it kinda makes me sad that u want to change in order for her to like u. i think u should text her and ask if ygs can talk in person and then tell her how u feel absolutely no filter and definitely dont sugarcoat it, see how things work out from there bcs if u js sit in ur room thinking why cant she like me or thinking abt things that u can’t change abt ur self is an absolute waste of time especially when u can talk abt ur feelings dont js bottle it up I’m speaking from experience. definitely don’t keep it. talk to her and if things dont work out that completely fine bcs from what a, hearing u could use someone to lean on but u also need to work on yourself first. remember u are ur first priority then can come ur romance life. so in conclusion talk to her and if things don’t work out, that’s fine work on yourself. wishing u the best!!
peace and love
ps if ur feeling lonely again am here!!