my ex-bestfriend
The story
first of all, sorry if I have any grammar or vocabulary errors, English is not my first language.
so, I (f, 17) have had this friend (m,18) for almost 6 years, I shared everything with him and loved him with all my heart.
we met because he had a crush on me, but he moved forward in a few months. He was very sweet at first, and it was so nice to talk about anything with him. also, he always had depressio, and I've always been there for him, honestly.
when he got a girlfriend we lost contact a little, because she was kind of jealous, and I understood it perfectly bc I didn't want to make things weird for anyone. we still talked tho, but only about serious problems and not a lot.
when they broke up two years later me and my friend got closer again because he needed a friend to talk to. I helped him with what I could, but soon I started to have feelings for him. I didnt told him bc I didn't want to ruin our friendship bc I loved him so much in that way, so I tried to wait for those feelings to pass, but they didn't.
still, I didn't do anything about it, I knew he didn't saw me the same way, and also he was going through a thought breakup.
one day I invited him and my other bestie over bc there was a concert at my stepdad town. there was two beds for us, so my other bestie (girl and in a relationship) and I were supposed to sleep together and he was supposed to sleep alone. he didnt. he slept between the two of us. he scooped in my direction and hugged me, then kissed me, and we ended up making love on the other bed. I confessed to him that night before doing anything because I was a lil drunk, and he told me he kind of felt something similar. the next day he told me he did not, and that he didn't want to do it again.
months passed by and we continued having sex, I still felt the same way and I always cried after because I felt really bad and kind of used. one that, I was told by my friends that they saw him kissing his ex, and I felt horrible bc he didn't told me. he apologized and I forgave him, but he kept lying about everything, so I started to get really mad at him because he always came to me with the only motivation of affection and when he felt alone or had nothing else to do.
he always said sorry, and always did the same. I got really tired and demanded the respect I deserve, and told him that he never helped me when I needed him (which is true bc when I had 13 or smth I had no friends but him, I told him and asked him to spend more time together and he told me to get more friends).
and he got tired of me demanding that respect, so he started drifting away instead of trying to fix our friendship.
last week, I begged him to fix this, but he did not want to bc he has other friends now (that's literally what he told me) and bc Im always sad (remember he has depression, he recently almost had an attempt that I myself stopped)
his new bestie (f,18) is such a bad friend with her girlfriends, they personally told me, bc she always makes fun of them for male attention. and I told my friend this, and told him I was jealous bc she's so pretty and fun, but also she's a bad person and he should know it. and he said he already knew, but it is fine with him.
im devastated, bc I did everything I could to keep him by my side and cared for him all this time, and I don't understand what I lack. im so mad at him. and her. im so so soooo sad and mad. I wish I knew what he wanted me to do to be perfect for him. and now he's gone. I´ll love him all my life and he always told me he will too. but he doesn't even care a little about me. idk, im just so heartbroken.
thank you for reading <3 hope u have a wonderful day/sleep well
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Wow, this is a mess... Okay, let me get this straight: you're hung up on a guy who clearly doesn't care about you?? You're bending over backwards for someone who admitted he's fine hanging with "bad" people; and don't get me started on him telling you to "get more friends" when you needed him. Major red flags, buddy. He’s using you like a fallback option. You're better off focusing on yourself, not someone who only shows up when he's feeling low. Forget trying to be "perfect" for him—he's not worth that effort, stop wasting your time?! Move on and find friends who actually want to be there. Ugh! Why stick around for this circus???
tysm!!
Honestly, it sounds like you're caught up in a cycle that's going nowhere; why are you holding on to someone who clearly doesn't prioritize you? From the way he treated you when you needed support at 13, it's obvious he's not the kind of friend who reciprocates the care you show; repeatedly allowing someone to come back into your life just because they're feeling lonely doesn't seem like a healthy dynamic. Is this really what you want for yourself??? It might be worth considering why you feel the need to be "perfect" for someone who's already shown they're willing to move on; you're too young to be carrying the weight of someone else's inconsistent affections. Maybe focus on building relationships where you're valued for who you are, not just when it's convenient for somebody else. It's disappointing, but maybe this is a wake-up call that you deserve better...
thank you <3
I can't help but wonder why you’re holding on to this situation? It seems like you're pouring all your energy into someone who doesn't give a damn about reciprocating; I've been there, and it's not worth it. When a guy tells you to "get more friends" instead of being there for you, that's a major red flag 🚩; you deserve way better treatment than this. I remember being in a similar situation and finally realizing that no amount of affection or attention was going to change the fact that I was just their backup plan. You're wasting your emotional energy on someone who isn't willing to do the same for you. Think about it; is this really how you want to spend your life—waiting on someone else to see your worth when there are way better people who will? Get out of this cycle, because you deserve friends who actually care about you and not just when it's convenient for them.
thank u so much :´)
I totally get that you're feeling upset, but you might be stuck in a fruitless situation? It seems like you've invested a lot of time and emotion into someone who isn't willing to give you the same in return; I've experienced one-sided friendships before, and they never end well. When he tells you to "get more friends," he’s making it clear that your needs aren't his priority. Why stay for someone who doesn’t put you first?! You deserve a friendship that supports and uplifts you. Do you really believe this is the best he can offer? 🤔 Maybe it's time to reevaluate where you stand and find connections that actually add value to your life.
I completely understand where you're coming from, and I think you've been incredibly patient with this situation 😊! It's really tough to give so much and not see it reciprocated. Your feelings are totally valid, and it's important to remember that you deserve someone who appreciates all that you offer; relationships are about mutual respect and care, after all. Stay strong, focus on surrounding yourself with people who value you just as you are!!! You've got this, and brighter days are definitely ahead 🌟!
Hey, I totally get what you're feeling. It sounds like you've been through a lot; and it's okay to be hurt and frustrated by it. You've shown a lot of patience and care for someone who couldn't return it in the same way. Remember, as they say, "Not everyone you lose is a loss." You're worth more than being someone's backup plan. Hang in there; things will get better, and you'll find people who truly appreciate you!!! Keep your chin up, and don't lose hope—you’ve got this 😊!