first of all, sorry if I have any grammar or vocabulary errors, English is not my first language.

so, I (f, 17) have had this friend (m,18) for almost 6 years, I shared everything with him and loved him with all my heart.

we met because he had a crush on me, but he moved forward in a few months. He was very sweet at first, and it was so nice to talk about anything with him. also, he always had depressio, and I've always been there for him, honestly.

when he got a girlfriend we lost contact a little, because she was kind of jealous, and I understood it perfectly bc I didn't want to make things weird for anyone. we still talked tho, but only about serious problems and not a lot.

when they broke up two years later me and my friend got closer again because he needed a friend to talk to. I helped him with what I could, but soon I started to have feelings for him. I didnt told him bc I didn't want to ruin our friendship bc I loved him so much in that way, so I tried to wait for those feelings to pass, but they didn't.

still, I didn't do anything about it, I knew he didn't saw me the same way, and also he was going through a thought breakup.

one day I invited him and my other bestie over bc there was a concert at my stepdad town. there was two beds for us, so my other bestie (girl and in a relationship) and I were supposed to sleep together and he was supposed to sleep alone. he didnt. he slept between the two of us. he scooped in my direction and hugged me, then kissed me, and we ended up making love on the other bed. I confessed to him that night before doing anything because I was a lil drunk, and he told me he kind of felt something similar. the next day he told me he did not, and that he didn't want to do it again.

months passed by and we continued having sex, I still felt the same way and I always cried after because I felt really bad and kind of used. one that, I was told by my friends that they saw him kissing his ex, and I felt horrible bc he didn't told me. he apologized and I forgave him, but he kept lying about everything, so I started to get really mad at him because he always came to me with the only motivation of affection and when he felt alone or had nothing else to do.

he always said sorry, and always did the same. I got really tired and demanded the respect I deserve, and told him that he never helped me when I needed him (which is true bc when I had 13 or smth I had no friends but him, I told him and asked him to spend more time together and he told me to get more friends).

and he got tired of me demanding that respect, so he started drifting away instead of trying to fix our friendship.

last week, I begged him to fix this, but he did not want to bc he has other friends now (that's literally what he told me) and bc Im always sad (remember he has depression, he recently almost had an attempt that I myself stopped)

his new bestie (f,18) is such a bad friend with her girlfriends, they personally told me, bc she always makes fun of them for male attention. and I told my friend this, and told him I was jealous bc she's so pretty and fun, but also she's a bad person and he should know it. and he said he already knew, but it is fine with him.

im devastated, bc I did everything I could to keep him by my side and cared for him all this time, and I don't understand what I lack. im so mad at him. and her. im so so soooo sad and mad. I wish I knew what he wanted me to do to be perfect for him. and now he's gone. I´ll love him all my life and he always told me he will too. but he doesn't even care a little about me. idk, im just so heartbroken.

thank you for reading <3 hope u have a wonderful day/sleep well

Stories in the same category