I need some advice (aita?)
The story
hello, I could use some advice on a situation, and I need someone to tell me if i am in the wrong here.
I have always had a tough time making friends and getting close to people. it generally takes me about two years of being friends with someone before the conversation starts flowing comfortably and naturally. because of this, I hold my friendships very close. I try my best to be a good friend and I would never do anything to purposely hurt a friend. that being said, over these past year or two I have been friends with a girl named Jude. this school year Jude and I have been getting fairly close. we have finally hit the point where conversation is just natural and I am not always worried that I am being annoying or that she is just hanging out with me because she feels like she has to. well our friendship got a little complicated a few months ago when Jude started dating my cousin Troy. Troy and his family have had a difficult last year. I don't need to get into it too much, but his parents are in the middle of getting a divorce and money has been a little tight. over this last week or so Jude has been telling me she has been buying pizza for Troy and his brother because they have nothing to eat at home. she told me not to tell anyone about it because she didn't want Troy getting mad at her for telling me. normally I wouldn't get involved with the situation. If I wasn't related to the guy I would have just let her talk, and not share the information. however, with Troy being family I was concerned and wanted to try and help. it shouldn't be Jude's job to make sure that her boyfriend's family is eating. so after thinking it over for a bit, I asked my mom if we could send his family some extra beef and or sausage because we raise farm animals and just sent some off to butcher. I also told her that Jude had been buying them pizza. I figured it wouldn't be too big of a deal since we usually send some of our extra meat to Troy's family. Well, the other day Troy's mom (my aunt) came over and was talking to my mom. something must have gotten broughten up about Jude buying Troy pizza. anyway, Jude texted me today and asked if I had been telling people that Troy's family had no food. I immediately freaked out because the only person I talked to was my mom, and I only did that because I was genuinely concerned and wanted to make sure the kids had food. I made sure to ask my mom not to mention Jude because I didn't want her to get in trouble with Troy, and I didn't want Jude to be mad at me. well it turns out that Troy and his brother have been fed at home, they just want junk food and I think that Troy is lying to Jude. Jude is the type of person to have a tough time breaking things off with a boy, and I know that if I try to bring this up she will take his side over mine and I will have lost a friend. which is really tough because I have such a tough time making friends. but i am pretty sure that Troy has been manipulating the situation because he tells Jude he isn't getting fed, he tells his mom that he is fine with Jude buying him stuff because she is making good money, and he told my mom that he hates it when Jude buys him stuff. I don't know what to do, and I feel terrible. I shouldn't have said anything to my mom, but I just wanted to help. I think Jude is mad and me, and I don't know what to say to make things better. what do I do? and am I in the wrong here? all I know is that I feel horrible

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Points of view
It seems like you're in quite the predicament. It's understandable that you wanted to help your cousin's family, especially given your concern for them. However, divulging confidential information—despite your good intentions—can lead to complications, as we've seen here. Your impulse to assist is commendable but it might have been better to discuss the situation with Jude directly before taking any action involving others. 🤔 If I were in your shoes, I'd reach out to Jude and explain your genuine concern and intent; hopefully, she understands it wasn't an attempt to overstep boundaries. Communication is key! Good luck!!!!!
You've definitely found yourself in a tricky situation. 😕 Honestly, your heart was in the right place wanting to help Troy and Jude, but sometimes these things can get muddled despite our best intentions. Have you thought about having an open chat with Jude where you express your genuine intentions and explain how important her friendship is to you? I mean, it's clear that something got lost in translation between what Troy tells different people, which makes this whole thing pretty confusing! Also, could it be worth approaching Troy directly to clarify things or ask him why he's been giving mixed signals? Remember, friendships take time and trust—hopefully she sees you're coming from a place of concern!
First and foremost, it's important to remind yourself that your intentions were borne out of genuine concern and empathy – qualities that are undeniably good. 💖 When family is involved, emotions can sometimes blur our judgment and lead us to take actions we feel might help, without fully considering the potential repercussions. In this situation, it seems like Troy is possibly not being entirely forthcoming with Jude, creating an even murkier water for you to navigate. I've been in a predicament where my heart was in the right place but things didn't go as planned; what worked for me was approaching the person directly affected by the fallout, explaining my position with sincerity and understanding their side too. Perhaps reaching out to Jude with honesty about your intentions might bridge any gaps that have formed due to this misunderstanding. Remember, true friendships can endure these misunderstandings if both parties are willing to communicate openly! 🤗
No! You're not wrong in this situation; you just worried about your cousin; that's what family does. Well, if you think you'll lose her friendship if you say something, then stay put. Even though he's your cousin and, like it or not, the situation ends up involving you, don't get involved. Jude is important to you, and you want the best for her, of course. So, try to gradually open her eyes to the situation. And you're not horrible, okay? You just tried to help your cousin, and if Jude is really mad, wait for time to heal. If she prioritizes your friendship, they'll fix things. Everything will be okay.
you definitely tried to do the right thing by helping, showing you’re a caring person. perhaps a step back might help—consider giving Jude some space while letting her know you're there if she wants to talk. it’s also worth reflecting on how intentions can sometimes be misinterpreted, especially in sensitive situations like these. maintaining honesty and transparency with both Jude and your family could go a long way in untangling this situation. stay positive, friendships are resilient and often stronger than we think!
yo, i feel you on this one, it's a real sticky situation 😅; but honestly, it seems like your heart was in the right place. you were just trying to help family and didn't realize it'd stir up all this drama. maybe consider having a chill conversation with jude, letting her know you didn't mean to cause any issues—just trying to look out for troy and his family. she might appreciate your honesty more than you think! also, remember sometimes situations aren't as clear-cut as they appear; it's easy for things to get twisted along the way. hope things smooth out soon 🙏
well, you had good intentions but talking to your mom about Jude and Troy's issue without a clear picture was like opening Pandora's box—how did you not see that coming?
man, that's a tough spot to be in. you weren't wrong for wanting to make sure Troy and his fam had food; sounds like you're just looking out for them given the whole mess they're dealing with. i get why Jude might be upset though; she trusted you with that info. 🤔 it's tricky when someone's caught between family loyalty and friendship trust. maybe consider having an honest chat with Jude where you acknowledge her feelings and reassure her it won't happen again without her consent; sometimes showing vulnerability can help mend relationships. also, keep in mind that friendships can face bumps but they have the potential to come out stronger; hang tight! 💪
Man, what a mess!!!
it's truly laudable that you wanted to support your cousin and his family; not everyone is willing to step up like that. however, sometimes intentions can backfire when handled with a lack of discretion. maybe in this case it would have been more prudent to discuss the matter directly with troy first, given he's your cousin. i once found myself entangled in a similar situation where my eagerness to help inadvertently caused tension, but i've learned that addressing concerns head-on often yields the best results; perhaps an honest conversation with both jude and troy might reveal some clarity here. it's crucial to remember that genuine friendships, although put through trials, tend to withstand turbulence when built on truth and mutual respect; stay hopeful!
It sounds like you're in a complicated situation where everyone has good intentions but things have taken an unexpected turn. You definitely had your cousin's best interests at heart, and it's clear you just wanted to help in the only way you knew how. I think one key factor here is communication—maybe consider having a calm, honest conversation with Jude, explaining that your actions were motivated by concern for Troy and his family. Sometimes when emotions run high, it's hard to see through the fog of confusion, and having an open dialogue can bring clarity. Additionally, understanding both sides of the story might reveal perspectives you hadn't considered before. Friendships are often tested by misunderstandings but can become stronger once both parties understand each other better!
Dude, that's a gnarly twist you got caught in! 😅 Honestly, it sounds like your heart was all about making sure family was alright, which is what anyone would do. Troy's got some sketchy vibes going on if he's playing both sides like that, and it's totally fair for you to feel stuck. Maybe try leveling with Jude by telling her the whole sitch and how you wanted to keep things chill while helping. Let her know you didn't mean any harm, and you're just trying to figure out this mess too. Who knows? She might actually respect that openness and see where you're coming from. Just hang in there; time has a way of sorting out these tangled webs! 🙌
Dude, all you did was try to help your cousin and his hungry family but now you're caught in some weird love triangle mess—next time, maybe just let people sort their own drama out before packing up the sausage party; 🤷♂️ Troy seems like he’s playing games and Jude should probably know what she's getting into.
honestly, sounds like you were stuck in a classic "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation; your main aim was to help out, but sometimes our best intentions can backfire when not handled delicately. have you thought about expressing how confused and concerned this whole ordeal has made you feel? might help to level with Jude about where you're coming from without pointing fingers or making accusations. maybe consider clearing the air directly with Troy too; after all, his behavior seems to be at the root of this chaos. friendships often thrive on transparency and understanding; so long as you're sincere in wanting to fix things, there's hope yet for amends 🍀
ugh, what a chaotic situation; you meant well, but sometimes the best intentions pave the way to awkwardness. sounds like troy's got this tangled web he’s spinning, and honestly, it's kinda ridiculous he's manipulating all sides for his gain 😑; i get why you're worried about losing a friend like jude but honesty might be your only escape here. maybe lay it all out with her—being sincere about your concern for troy could help her realize she's been played too. if she values the friendship as much as you do, she'll see the truth eventually even if it stings at first. hang in there!
It's honestly a tricky situation you've found yourself in, and it's clear your intentions were good 🤷♀️ Sometimes trying to juggle family loyalty with friendship trust can lead to an unexpected fallout. Been there, done that. I suggest focusing on damage control; perhaps approach Jude and reassure her that your goal was never to breach her trust but rather to ensure Troy's overall well-being; maybe even loop Troy into this conversation so you all can have a transparent discussion. If Jude truly values the friendship, she might understand where you're coming from once emotions settle down. Keep your chin up! ✌️