my friendship is falling apart
The story
My friend (Roe) has recently got a girlfriend, they just started dating about a month ago. Him and I have always been really close since we met and talked almost everyday but recently he's been spending more time with her which is expected. There are some things he does though that is making me really mad and I just want to know if I'm crazy for being mad. When she (his gf) is at work or somewhere not at home the two of us will hangout and play games like we have for a while, but its becoming a thing that as soon as she gets home he disappears. We will be in the middle of a game or even just talking and he will just leave without saying anything. I tend to overthink a lot in general so I'm not sure if I should bring up how hurt this is making me feel to him because I feel like im overreacting. I know new couples tend to want to spend all of their time together and I'm happy he found someone, but I also feel like my friendship is just now being used as a placeholder for when she is not around.

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Points of view
I completely understand your perspective, and I can see why you're feeling the way you do. New relationships often lead to significant shifts in how time is allocated between friends and partners, and this can sometimes lead to feelings of neglect. It's quite common when someone dives into a new relationship, like two players in a match queue, one inevitably ends up waiting. I remember when my friend started dating someone new, our usual hangouts were suddenly on pause; it was a challenge to adjust, and I felt sidelined too. Your concerns are valid, and it can be beneficial to express them calmly. Communicating how you feel might help him realize the impact of his actions, and it's always better to address the issue than to let it fester. It could lead to finding a new equilibrium in your friendship that accommodates both your bond and his relationship. Just remember to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, as he may not be fully aware of your feelings right now. 😊
hey, I get why you’re upset, but it sounds like you might be reading into this a bit too much. friends often have to adjust when there's a new relationship in the mix. it's not cool that he leaves without saying anything, but maybe he's just caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. i wouldn't take it too personally. have you talked to him about it? it could just be a misunderstanding. try giving it some time to see if things even out.
It sounds like you're feeling a bit sidelined, and it's understandable to be upset when a close friend starts prioritizing someone else. But new relationships often come with a whirlwind of attention and emotions. Do you really think it's fair to feel like a placeholder when he's just trying to balance everything??? It seems like you're assuming the worst without maybe seeing things from his perspective!!! Could it be that he's just navigating this new chapter and still values your friendship??? It's tough, but friends adjusting to new dynamics is pretty common. Maybe give it some time and see if things settle???
it really sounds like you're in a tough spot, and it's totally valid to feel the way you do about the situation. having a friend who suddenly shifts their focus entirely onto a new relationship can feel like you're getting the short end of the stick. it's not unusual to start feeling like a backup plan when your friend is off the radar as soon as his girlfriend appears; however, it's important to remember that new relationships often come with their own set of complications. while it's great that you're happy for him, it might be a good idea to openly communicate your feelings; this could help clear the air and ensure your friendship stays solid without assumptions getting in the way.
honestly, it sounds like you're overreacting quite a bit. friendships naturally change when relationships start, you know? expecting everything to stay the same is a bit unrealistic; your friend isn't ditching you on purpose. he’s probably just trying to manage his bandwidth between new commitments and old ones. have you considered maybe being a bit more understanding??? communication, rather than silent assumptions, could really help here. maybe just talk to him first before jumping to conclusions 😅!!!
hey, I totally get where you're coming from. It’s rough when a friend you’ve shared so much time with suddenly seems to have new priorities. I had a buddy who did something similar when he started dating, disappearing mid-Halo match whenever she called. At first, I felt like I was just a backup plan, just like you’re feeling right now. But it turned out, he wasn’t even aware of how it came off. Sometimes you’ve gotta communicate, you know? Maybe tell him, “Dude, it feels like I’m your standby guy when she’s busy.” You never know, it might make all the difference and help him realize how it looks. After I chatted with my friend, things got way better; we found a new balance that worked for everyone. Hang in there! 😊
Man, that sucks. Yep, I get it. You're right to feel like that when he bails on you suddenly; this constant ghosting during your gaming sessions is disrespectful, honestly. Seriously, being a fallback option isn't cool. Ever considered just asking him: why is your attention only there when she's not around? It's basic friendship maintenance. A simple talk might change things, but don't wait forever 😡.
dude, chill. your friend just got a new girlfriend, and you're acting like it's the end of the world!!! people get busy when they start dating someone—it's not that deep. ever heard of "puppy love"??? that stuff is intense! maybe cut him a little slack? he’s still your friend, just figuring things out. just ask him to balance it out a bit better. it's not like he’s forgetting you forever, man. relax 😎!!!
ugh, that's super annoying 😤 i totally get why you're feeling like this. you're not overreacting; it's rude to just bail mid-game without a word. feels like you're being used as a side quest when she's busy. have you tried talking to him about how you're feeling? maybe he doesn't realize he's being a no-show friend; seriously, you deserve better communication! don't let this stew, man, just let him know how it makes you feel. hope things work out!!!
come on, mate, isn't it a little over the top to think you're just a “placeholder friend”?? relationships require a lot of attention and new priorities shift around; don't you think it’s just temporary? sounds like you're jumping to conclusions without chatting with him first. plenty of fish in the sea, dude! would you want to miss the chance to clarify things and maybe realize you're worrying for nothing??? a mate of mine did this too, and when we talked, it was all good later. stop the drama and hit him up for a chat!!!
dude, you're seriously freaking out for nothing. relationships mean people juggle priorities differently. it’s not like he's cutting you off, just trying to find a balance. remember when my buddy got a girlfriend and started pulling the same vanishing act? at first, i was pissed, too, but it turned out he wasn’t even aware how it looked. have you actually sat down and told him how this feels? maybe don't just assume you're being sidelined. sounds like you're making a big deal out of nothing 🤨.
man, you're blowing this way out of proportion 🙄 feel like you're acting like his temporary friend, but that's some insecure thinking; new relationships come with adjustments, and your friend is just trying to manage that. he probably isn't even aware of how this looks to you. instead of making baseless assumptions, just talk to him about it??? him bailing mid-game isn't ideal, but maybe he's not doing it on purpose. seriously, cut him some slack.
honestly, it seems like you're making a big deal out of nothing. relationships mean people’s priorities shift a bit. it's not like he's ignoring you completely, just figuring things out 🤔. sure, it's annoying that he leaves mid-game, but maybe he doesn't realize how it feels. just have a chat with him rather than jumping to conclusions. everyone goes through this balancing act when they start seeing someone new. give him a chance to sort it out 🙂.
totally get where you're coming from, and to be honest, it's pretty frustrating when it feels like you're just a "backup" friend 😕. when my own buddy started seeing someone new, i remember experiencing similar feelings of neglect, with plans often dropped or forgotten. while it's understandable that new couples want to spend a lot of time together, disappearing mid-conversation without so much as a "brb" can be kinda disrespectful. perhaps it's worthwhile to express your feelings and concerns to him; after all, he might not be aware of the impact his actions are having on your friendship. communication often clears up what's otherwise a storm of misinterpretation, so give it a shot.
man, i feel you on this one, totally. it's rough when it feels like you're just a placeholder for when the new girlfriend's not around 😔. been there, done that. it feels like your friendship is taking a hit for sure. when my friend started dating, i felt like i was a mere bench player waiting for game time; why does he think it's okay to just bail mid-game without a word?# some people just don't realize how it seems to others. have you tried telling him how this makes you feel? communication can open his eyes to the impact it's having on you. it's not fair, and it's not cool. hang in there!!
you’re right to feel used like a "stand-in" until she's available. if he vanishes mid-game without a word, that’s just disrespectful. it is as if your friendship is his filler content. it’s a selfish move on his part, prioritizing her at your expense. have you considered if this friendship is even worth maintaining if he keeps sidelining you like this? such behavior suggests a lack of consideration. you deserve better than to be a convenient option. make sure he understands that.
i totally see where you're coming from, and it's definitely frustrating to feel like your friend only sees you as a second option. it's tough when someone who used to be a constant in your life starts acting like you're just part of the background scenery, there when nothing else is happening 😕. i've been in a similar situation before. when my best buddy started dating, i felt like our hangouts became contingent on his partner's availability. it's a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes a real talk can shift the perspective. maybe you just need an honest conversation with him about how his actions are affecting the friendship. communication could bridge that gap and make things easier for you both in the long run.
you're absolutely right in feeling used like a "backup" friend!!! your friend bailing on you the minute she's available is just plain disrespectful. it's like he only needs you for filler content when she's not around. that's not how friendship should work!!! however, maybe there's hope if you confront him directly. talk to him and let him know how his actions are making you feel. only then can things possibly change for the better. you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration!!!